Greetings everyone,
I am here on my hands and knees begging for help. My wife and I don't know what to do. My wife gets chronic bladder infections after sex and it's completely destroying our sex life.
We have tried EVERYTHING I could find research wise. We now only have what I call sterile sex (which is fine if it worked). We both shower thoroughly before, and she after as well as peeing. But 2 out of three times she is still getting a bladder infection and the only cure is antibiotics. Not wanting the horrible pain she experiences, and not wanting to make antibiotics a regular part of our sex life, she has lost almost all of her libido.
We want to find a solution but I can't find any answers online we haven't already tried. I'm hoping that maybe someone here will be our saving grace and suggest something that might help us. Our intimate life has become one of fear, neither of us wanting her to experience such pain.
Are there options besides the obvious that can be pursued with a doctor? We are willing to go but we are currently uninsured and don't want to if they will only tell us what we already know. Please someone help! Thank you in advance to any suggestions!
I had the same problem, chronic UTIs for over a year, and the only thing that ended the cycle for me was taking a low dose antibiotic (trimethoprim, can't remember the dose) every single day for 3 months straight.
That was not a fun year! However, I think it's better to be on low-dose antibiotics for a few months than to be on week-long cycles of heavy antibiotics over and over. After that, I was okay, as long as we always use lube and try to be gentle. (Edit: I've had one or two UTIs since, but nothing chronic.)
She could try a cranberry supplement each day. Look for one that says on the box it has been tested for its ability to prevent bacterial adherence (or something along those lines.) Take daily with plenty of water.
I know you said you don't have insurance, but if would be best if your wife sees a urologist, if she hasn't already. They will make sure there is no underlying cause for this problem.
Do not use any form of birth control that contains spermicide. Make sure she isn't using products, like bubble bath, which could be aggravating this.
You said she urinates after sex but does she do it before as well? Both are important. I'd certainly see a doctor - at least a doc in the box - as UTIs can be fatal.
I used to have the same problem- I had recurrent UTI infections for 3 years, getting them sometimes every couple of weeks, at most I'd go a month or two without.
First- do you use your hands during foreplay? IE- are you "fingering" her? If so, stop. Bacteria hide under the fingernails and that's a prime way to infect someone prone to UTI's and fingernails are sharp and can irritate the opening to the urethra. Also, if you're not circumcised you can be harboring bacteria under your foreskin so make sure you wash well there too (if applicable).
Second- one thing she could try is to take a daily, low dose antibiotic that is made for preventing UTI's. I know there are at least two types because I was on them both. Unfortunately I developed a sensitivity to them and had to stop them.
Third- it's possible that she's never getting rid of the infection. When I had recurrent UTI's, they kept coming back but in between I always had this bladder irritation and it never really felt like they "went away". Turns out the bacteria was laying dormant for periods of time in my bladder wall. When my doctor and I finally found an antibiotic that worked for me, I knew it right away. The bladder irritation was gone, for the first time in two years.
Once your wife is absolutely certain she is infection free, she's going to have to make hygiene a major priority. I'm not saying she's "dirty" now, just that some of us have to be extra clean. One thing that makes a HUGE difference for me is having one of those shower heads on a hose- that way I can wash down there with soap and then rinse well using the showerhead with hose. I find that when I'm not able to do that, such as when I'm traveling, I have a lot more bladder problems.
For your part, I would suggest making sure that any part of your body that touches your wife during sex is completely clean so that there's no way you can be harboring bacteria.
There are supplements that can help prevent infection: One is called UTI Slip (available from health food stores and online) and that helped me. Green tea is touted for it and cranberry juice is also but they didn't work for me...however, white tea DID work for me. Taking garlic supplements also helped me, as garlic has some natural antibiotic properties. She should avoid sugar, as bladder bacteria loves sugar. That's why the UTI slip works, actually- it's similar to sugar and the bacteria will leave the wall of the bladder and attach themselves to the UTI Slip and then get flushed out with it during urination.
Good luck. I know how frustrating this can be, because I've been there. But I also know it can be overcome- I've been UTI free for about 8 years now.
I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to reply. These are some great tips. I think we have the cleanliness thing down because we were convinced that was our main problem. I'm going to have us try some of these other suggestions and see if we get an improvement. Thank you so much!!!!!
hi
I just came across your post and wanted to ask how things are going with your wife's UTIs. I've been having the exact same problem and just don't know where else to turn for help.
I would really appreciate it if you could provide some update on the situation.
I hope everything has worked out and you aren't dealing with these nasty bladder infections ever again.
Greetings everyone,
I am here on my hands and knees begging for help. My wife and I don't know what to do. My wife gets chronic bladder infections after sex and it's completely destroying our sex life.
We have tried EVERYTHING I could find research wise. We now only have what I call sterile sex (which is fine if it worked). We both shower thoroughly before, and she after as well as peeing. But 2 out of three times she is still getting a bladder infection and the only cure is antibiotics. Not wanting the horrible pain she experiences, and not wanting to make antibiotics a regular part of our sex life, she has lost almost all of her libido.
We want to find a solution but I can't find any answers online we haven't already tried. I'm hoping that maybe someone here will be our saving grace and suggest something that might help us. Our intimate life has become one of fear, neither of us wanting her to experience such pain.
Are there options besides the obvious that can be pursued with a doctor? We are willing to go but we are currently uninsured and don't want to if they will only tell us what we already know. Please someone help! Thank you in advance to any suggestions!
I have that exact problem. I have had to take prophalactic (sp?) antibiotics for years with intercourse. If I don't take an antibiotic, I get a UTI within hours. It has affected my sex life, definately. I have to have "sterile" sex and take an antibiotic with intercourse. I still have sex, but, believe me, a whole lot less. No doctor has any good news. I have another friend who claims to have had her issues like this start after she was catherized after surgery. Mind started a few years after that happened. Good luck to us all!
Hi EagleriverDee. Please tell me what antibiotic you took that finally worked? I have been having chronic UTIs for 2 years now only after sex. I know the bacteria are laying dormant in my bladder because I am certain I am not being reinfected and because my bladder is always uncomfortable ever since the first UTI 2 years ago.
