Ravenna

I think I can safely say I've been dieting for somewhere between 5 and 7 years. I've tried at least 30 or 40 different diets - some of my own terrible making. During this time I managed to put on about 20-30 lbs.. Then I discovered Atkins and lost around 15lbs. all in all while starting and stopping his way of eating. I have since expanded my knowledge of low carb and keto diets and lost another 5lbs. of pure fat. I truly believe that these types of diets are THE very best for their fat loss and muscle sparing qualities. I have also learned that it IS possible to lose more than 2lbs. of fat per week, and that unless you are already about to keel over, doing so will not kill you. However, most people do not have access to the things that would allow them to do this, and even if they did might opt not to go that route.

With all this in mind, I used to think that these diets were the only things that was going to help me to lose weight. There was a clear cut science to it, and I understood how it worked. It was so much more detailed and explained so much more than ‘cut calories and you’ll lose weight’. I trusted it more.

The other day I went shopping for new clothes. I spent hours shopping, going store to store in search of a pair of jeans. I couldn’t find a single pair of jeans that fit me. Jeans are just not made for women like me. I have a 28in. waist, but 40in. hips. I went to the plus sized and all their clothes were too big. I was about ready to start sobbing in the dressing room. But it really got me thinking. That day I was semi starving. I was doing low cal\low carb and taking some supplements. I felt horrible. I started to think ‘Well, with all this on again off again hardcore dieting how far have I gotten? I can’t even fit into a pair of jeans. Why am I even doing this?’ I feel so bad on these diets – granted I get pretty extreme. But when I am doing them my point of view gets so dark, I get so depressed, and so fixated on my diet. I feel hopeless. Then I wake up one morning (without fail – every time I start a keto diet) in extreme hypoglycemia, shaking and ready to throw up until I get some carbohydrates. This fact also leads me to question whether or not these diets are for me. They work – no doubt about it. But they may not be for me. I’m tired of feeling so horrible, and not being able to be happy the way I am when I eat ‘normal’ food.

I think I am going to stop doing this to myself. I miss vegetables (I love a raw tomato with salt and pepper for breakfast). I sorely miss having sugar in my tea. Let’s admit it – Splenda in Earl Grey tea tastes like crap. I want to enjoy food again. Dieting is what got me into this mess. Some of you may remember that I ordered this ‘Maggie Drozd’s Method’ thing a few months ago. Many have the impression it’s just spice capsules and green tea, but there’s a book and a way of eating that comes with it. I’ve thrown out the pills (I'm so sick of things like that), and I am going to follow the book. Basically it’s about eating sensibly. There are three meals a day, eaten with specific combinations (no protein and carbs at the same time). I’m not sure how scientifically sound her theories are, but at this point I don’t really care. With this I will be eating veggies and fruit again, controlling my portions, and probably feeling a lot better than I have in a long time. I will keep some carbs – like bread and pasta type things – low just because I feel extremely sick when I eat them anymore. I think it’s time I changed my way of eating and keep an emphasis on doing that which makes me happy. It’s not worth it to lose a few pounds if you’re too depressed to feel good about it.

My goal is to lose about 20lbs. (hopefully of fat) this year. Maybe then I can fit into a pair of jeans. That shopping trip was a real wake up call. It’s time to do something different.

Sorry this is so long. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this, and I wanted to tell someone what I’ve learned.

[This message has been edited by Ravenna (edited 04-19-2003).]