Looking for support and advice - Weight Loss Message Board

toochubbyforhubby · 05-05-2003, 11:55 AM

Hello All,
I have been reading this message board for the last few weeks and feel like this may be just the support I need. First let me tell you my story. I am 39 years old and have been married for 13 years. I have 2 kids in school. I was in the Air Force for 20 years (I was an Aircraft Mechanic)and just Retired in Febuary. I still have not figured out what I want to do now, but going back to school is an option. I have had a weight problem all my life. Currently I am 5'8" and weigh in at 215. I have gained 35 lbs since I stopped working. At 180 I was just at the Air Force standard when they did Body Fat measurement. There were times during my career when I was placed on what we called the Fat Girl Program because I was too big. I am currently taking Welbutrin and Celexa...I am tired confused and sleepy most of the time. I have no motivation to do anything. I sit around and tell myself get up and clean the house or something but yet I just lay here watching mind numbing TV most days. Then 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me. This was not the first time this has happened and I knew it was coming. He actually left me in 97 for 2 months and then came back after I lost weight and he missed the kids. I am at the point of considering drastic measures such as gastric surgery. BUT I am not there yet. I am seriosly considering Leptoprin. I know from the threads that it has some side effects and it is gennerally used for people more overweight than me but I need to lose 65 lbs and get some energy. When I was younger I used to do really stupid stuff like laxatives, duretics, and vomitting to stay within Air Force Standards. I know NOT to go down that road again. I know I don't drink enough water, and I eat out of bordom (to many carbs). Another really depressing thing about me is I have a life cycle, Soloflex, many areobic tapes and a bun and thigh rocker at home but they just sit there for me to stare at and think "I shoud get up and use you"

I guess the thing is I need support....and any advice on leptoprin...

Thanks so much for any help or advice, and thank for listening.

Looking forward to responces

Absinthe · 05-05-2003, 12:42 PM

Hey, I'm an ex-Zoomie too.

I'll probably catch all kinds of flack for this, but Leptoprin is not a magic pill. It is no different from any other thermogenic you can get from the local drug store. The company manufacturing it is infamous for slick packaging and advertising, but the product is not innovative. I suggest you save your money.

Motivation really needs to come from within. The threat of your hubby leaving IS a motivator, but not a good one. (BTW, what a *nice* supportive guy. Geez.)

You will have to experiment to find a food plan that you can live with long term, but here are a few thoughts:
1) Don't turn on the TV. Once it's on it is hard to pry yourself away. Even reading is better than watching the tube.
2) Increase water. It will help in many ways.
3) Find an activity that you can tolerate daily. Walking, playing with kids or pets, gardening, dancing along with the radio... anything is better than nothing.
4) Look into your meds. They may be adding to your lack of motivation, or weight gain.

Good luck...

Dietprincess · 05-05-2003, 12:54 PM

toochubby (ooh, i dont like that name

)

May i suggest weight watchers? It was what really helped me when I was so down and needed major support. I met wonderful people there. It was the cheapest therapy you could ask for.

AND, it gets up and motivated.

Good luck.

jennielynn · 05-05-2003, 12:56 PM

toochubby: most of us on this board could use that screen name!!! LOL

The way your hubby is behaving, on the other hand; is no laughing matter. FIrst of all; you should want to lose weight for you; not him. And I can see why you're depressed. If my hubby told me that he wasn't attracted to me; I'd be in the same boat! I'm no marriage counselor; but if he left you before (assuming that the only/main reason was your weight) then you are better off without him. Talk about a quick way to get rid of some extra weight!!! I realize that you may truly love this guy & I know that you have children together; but the important question is: does he REALLY love you??? I would think that if he did; he wouls support you and try to encourage you to lose weight for yourself; not just because he wants you to. If there is one thing that goes wrong with 90% of marriages nowadays; it's that spouses are continuously trying to mold each other into the person they believe the other should be! Now, I've only been married a little over 10 years; and like I said before; I'm no counselor. But it sounds like this marriage is in some serious trouble. That aside; the thing that you need to concentrate on is why you want to lose weight. It's okay to want to look better for your husband; but you've got to want to do it for YOU!!!

The first thing I'd suggest if you seriously want to lose weight is to make little changes. get up and move a little more. I have had experience with depression; and I find that the more you allow yourself to lie around watching tv; the harder it is to stop. Instead of forcing yourself to do the housework; force yourself to go outside for a little walk. Even if it's just 15 minutes a day to start. The more you do it; the more steps you will take out of the rut your in. DO something for yourself; realize that you are a valuable person. You were in the Air Force for gosh sakes; not many women can say that! And your children; that's an accomplishment in itself. Don't let anyone else have control over your emotions; I know that's a very hard thing to do.

On the food side; try to eat more fruits and veggies. If carbs are the problem; try to gradually reduce the amount you consume. You may feel miserable for a few days while doing this; but it sounds to me like the alternative is making you equally as miserable.

Just know that you can come to this board anytime for support. There are so many people here who are great sources of inspiration! It doesn't always have to be about eating and weight loss; many of us have created friendships that take us way beyond that. And always remember that you must learn to take care of yourself if you want to succeed in taking care of everyone else!!!

Jen

toochubbyforhubby · 05-05-2003, 02:02 PM

Cool!!! Thanks for the replys
I want to lose weight for me also. I am very uncomfortable. I am even having trouble shaving my legs...it is hard to bend and get to the backs of my calves. As far as weight watchers, I have been (many years ago) and it did not seem to work for me because I always found an excuse not to go. I did Nutra- Systems and that worked I put forth the effort for awhile then stopped going to that too. I lost down to 130 once by running five miles every day and going to the gym everyday. Of course that was before I got married and had kids. Unfortunately, that is when my husband met me (at my all time thinest) So now he has this thin image of me stuck in his head. My husband does have a big problem with appearence (his own as well as mine) He tries to be supportive and suggests walks and salads. When he left me before he said it was all the weight thing I was at 175 then but I feel in my heart it was more. We don't talk about him leaveing in fact we never really ever talked about it after he came back. If you are thinking that it sounds like there is unresolved issues on my part you are right. Oh my gosh I can't even believe I am typing this I have never talked to anyone about this....He is a good man, he works hard, has a wonderful sence of humor, never procrastinates anything, and does not physically abuse me. He can be emotionally vacant sometimes though, and I am worried his negative comments about weight are going to affect my daughters. They are so young and they are already concerned they are "too fat". I have gone on so many diets...I will do very good and then just stop. My Mom says I am being passive aggressive to him and gaining weight just to punish him. I don't know about all that though. Anyway I have to go help the kids with thier homework I will check back later.

Bye