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Old 09-14-2003, 06:04 PM   #1
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posie HB User
Question Sabotaging my diet?

HI! I'm pretty new to this board (3 days new) but I wanted to get some input on what to do when you've got kids and a not so supportive hubby. H is a great dad and person and I love him tons http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/love2.gif but he's terribly insensitive about my problems with dieting. He thinks I just need will power and that I should just NOT eat the junk and just exercise. This is all true, but he's a skinny boy who's never had to watch what he eats and is constantly eating junk in front of me. I've tried to explain that "my cravings are pretty strong and by the way, why don't YOU stop drinking 4 pepsi's a day before you keel over!" He eats and drinks anything and everything and it's in our home all the time. He's clueless!

I also have 3 kids that I cook for and it's very hard staying off the bread, pasta and fruit when I make it for them. I feel like i'm being sabotaged sometimes. When we married I was active and weighed 120 lbs at 5'7" and looked good so I figure he'd want me to get back there (or at least in the general vicinity). I'm 206 lbs (HW 220) now and VERY frustrated. I've NEVER been this big or this unhealthy. I feel like crud most of the time (tired etc.) I've also developed some illnesses like fibromialgia, panic disorder, reflux disease, migrain, sinusitis and the list goes on. I'm a wreck!!!

DANGIT! I'm goin to the gym tomorrow! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

O.k. I'm done complaining now. Just "DO IT" right? O.k., O.k.. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by posie (edited 09-14-2003).]
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Old 09-14-2003, 11:11 PM   #2
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Dont you just hate it when ppl say that dreaded word(willpower).What it all boils down to is some ppl have a fast metabolism and some dont.You know ppl who eat and eat and never gain a pd.Then you know other ppl who eat like a bird and the weight just clings to them.Just the luck of the draw.My husband is supportive of my dietng to a certain extent.Just as long as i dont deny him any of his goodies.On the other hand my brother is a pain in the butt.Ive been on a low calorie diet for about a week and a half.I can tell ive lost some weight.But all my brother could say was well its all behind ya now.That and he tells me ill never stick to it.This time im determined to prove him wrong. Im on trimspa ef for the appetite suppression,a 1200 cal diet ,and exercise on the treadmill for 30 mins 2x a day.Also weight training 3 x wk.I know what ya mean about having goodies in the house for other ppl.It does make it harder.Do you like popcorn?I eat that alot cause its low in calores and fills me up.I find that im more of a night time eater.So i save up some of my calories for the night.If you get the popcorn just make sure its light kind.

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Old 09-15-2003, 12:49 PM   #3
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Yeah, you know what I mean. I guess my metabolish is kinda slow. The cravings can be BAAAD sometimes. I have to stay away from ALL junk. I love popcorn, the only problem is, I can't stop at a reasonable amt. I can eat a whole bag in one sitting by myself!

I have gotten on a sunflower seed kick. I eat the kind with the shell and lightly salted (don't need too much). I snack on them during movies and t.v. so I don't overeat (these are critical times for me). It drives H crazy cause he hears the "crack, crack, crack" all the time. I'm about addicted!

TODAY I am doing GREAT on the D. I'm down to:

CW 205
HW 220
GW 140

Goin to the gym (haven't been since 3 wks )
GONNA GET MOVIN http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif
How's your day going?
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Old 09-16-2003, 07:11 AM   #4
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It may sound harsh--but to those hubbys who aren't supportive: tell them to get a life! You are trying to lose weight for yourself--not for them.

I don't deny my family treats and such because I'm trying to lose weight. I still buy the junk food--I just buy healthier stuff for me. There are many (and I mean many) times that I will make them a meal and make a separate one for myself--one that suits my way of eating. You need to realize that the person who matters most in your journey to become healthier is YOU!!!!! I've adopted that attitude in my lifestyle and it is a tremendous help. When I say I'm going to exercise--nobody better bother me unless they are bleeding or the house is on fire!!LOL You've got to be a little selfish and start taking time for you! Sure, maybe they will be resentful at first but believe me--they will get used to it. I don't know about anyone else; but I would take those neg. comments and use them as fuel. To all you fat women out there (myself included) SHOW THOSE HUBBYS WHAT WE CAN DO AND WHAT WE CAN BE!!!! In the longrun--they will be thankful!!!!

I am so blessed to have a hubby who is supportive. He sees me struggle with my weight but doesn't utter one neg. comment about it. I actually think he could care less that I am a good 15 pounds overweight. What matters is that I am healthy and around to spend the rest of my life with him & our children.

yoy know that country song that goes : "the view I love the most; is my front porch looking in."?? Well, we've got to start viewing our lives from that point. Your body is "your font porch" and you must learn to love the view---LOOKING IN!!!! C'mon girls--we're stronger than a few insensitive comments--we're WOMEN for gosh sakes! Don't let anyone take from you what is rightfully yours--your self esteem!!!!

Jen

 
Old 09-16-2003, 07:25 AM   #5
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Hi Posie, I have the same thing at home. My boyfriend of (16) years is a skinny minnie who eats cake, ice cream, milkshakes and whatever.
I have learned a few things.
#1. dont worry about what he eats, its hard but you are doing this for you and not him.

#2. I am a pasta freak and it was very hard to give it up. also bread, cake, pepsi. all my favorites but i did it. For me no one else.

Make for your kids and then something else for you. once a week I get a treat but only if I am good. last night I made cheese steaks. Im on atkins and can have the cheese steak but not the roll. my treat was I had the roll. Its really hard when you dont have the support at home.
"I am woman hear me roar" remember that. do it for you the he-- with him. you will feel so good about yourself.
if you are interested in atkins diet or whichever diet get yourself the book. take a nice walk every day.
do in for yourself not for him and do it in spite of him.
you go girl and we are all here to support you.

 
Old 09-16-2003, 07:34 AM   #6
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Thanks so much guys (gals I mean)! I will try to just let it roll off my back.

I am on atkins and doing great so far (DAY 5). Yeah http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif
I'm sticking to my diet no matter what.

I had a long talk with him the other night and he "says" he gets it and will try not to say anything. We'll see http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif .

As far as making separate meals, I'm sorta learning to do that now. We eat almost the same things, they (the kids) just get the bread and a treat sometimes. It's still real hard having it in the house when I'm craving. My cravings can get VERY strong sometimes. Although now that I've been on the D for a while, they've pretty much disappeared.

Thank you all for your support http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

This sight is really helping me a lot
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Old 09-16-2003, 07:54 AM   #7
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I live with my b/f and he isn't the most supportive person in the world either. To me, it boils down to several important things.

Who does the shopping for your family? Whoever does most of the shopping usually controls what everyone eats. Its nice to "save" money on not buying cheetos, doritos, etc. Look at it that way.
Who does the cooking for your family? The best way to "help" him support you is to ask him to cook meals for you. Ask him to be in charge of what you eat--it takes the pressure off of you and it forces him to realize that things aren't always as easy as he believe them to be. I did this with my b/f and a whole new world opened up for him. Putting him in charge of cooking and shopping for me to help me help myself really cut down on his *****ing about will power b/c I made him get more involved. Its just a thought.
Alexis
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Old 09-16-2003, 08:09 AM   #8
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Bear in mind many cravings are not so much based on the need for a certain food, but based on habit. Some food cravings can be telling you you're low on a certain nutrient or chemical. A chocolate craving may tell you you're lacking a certain fat, or it may be one of the chemicals it contains that your emotional state may trigger a need for.

But a lot of food cravings are based on habit.. you're wanting a certain food because you're used to having it at that time. Really bad cravings are more likely the result of habit than some actual physical need. If you change your habits, you can often help deal with the cravings. If nothing else, you might change the object of your cravings. Many people naturally crave something sweet after dinner. Sweet tastes often tell us "Okay, the meal is over." Instad of going for the chocolate cake or something, find other snacks that are satisfying, but better for you. In cutting back my desserts, I now often have 2 light ginger cookies where I used to have a big bowl of ice cream or something.

Another thing you can do is find things to address the cravings in smaller portions. Chocolate is, yet again, a great example. I find that quality chocolate it much more satisfying than its cheaper equivalent. One or two small squares of Ghirardeli, Dove, or Godiva chocolate satisfy my desire much better than a large block of Hershey's. I also find dark chocolate much more satisfying in small quantities than larger quantities of milk chocolate.

 
Old 09-16-2003, 08:30 AM   #9
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Posie, another thing that isnt bad is the atkins brownie mix. I added walnuts to mine. you make them, cut in 21 pieces. I put mine in the freezer. then when I crave that cake or choc I take one out. put whipped cream on it and it satisfies the craving for me. you can have the whipped cream less then 1 g carbs for 2 T. and the brownies you can have 2 at 9g carbs. I only have one.
glad that you joined us. and remember that your support is here when you need it if not at home.

 
Old 09-16-2003, 04:03 PM   #10
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You all are wonderful http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

Aeello: That's a good idea having H shop. If he didn't get home at 8 & 9 p.m. all the time I'd say "you do it"! That's a good point to bring up to him. He has been better lately (not sure why). But with you all's help, I now have support, even if not from him.

Riki: Great tips for cravings. I have found a few chocolate goodies that are sugar free (Splenda) that I try every once in a while. Also, my habits play a big part, like watching t.v. while eating. I eat sunflower seeds now (and make a huge mess) but at least it keeps the snacking down.

Sue: Haven't tried the brownie mix yet, but it sounds good. I'll get it next time i'm at the HF store.

Today's been good. No cravings for 2 days and I have to force myself to eat (cause I'm not hungry). Went to gym for 1 1/2 hrs. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif

THANK YOU ALL http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

[This message has been edited by posie (edited 09-16-2003).]
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Old 09-16-2003, 04:37 PM   #11
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I just wanted to point out the fabulous popcorn that I have recently found and now I can't get enough of it. It comes already popped, I can't, for the life of me, think of the brand, but it's a white bad. It comes in cheese, regular, regular w/ 1/2 salt, etc. For 3 cups, note I said THREE cups on popcorn, it's a whopping 130 calories, give or take 10.. it's the end of the day and my mind is fading fast.

If you want a snack, I think this is a great one, those microwave popcorns can be deceiving about how many calories are actually in a full bag (which I can devour all at one time! eeeks)

Good luck!

 
Old 09-17-2003, 07:39 AM   #12
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Hi Everyone http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

Beautiful morning here in sunny CA. Doing good on the diet so far but I gave in and weighed myself this morning, oops http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/redface.gif and I GAINED 1 LB Oh well, hopefully it's just water or better yet, MUSCLE! I did nothing wrong on my diet so I'll just chalk it up to body fluxuations. (wishful thinking?) Also, my scale's not the greatest.

Anyways, I won't let it get me down

I loooove popcorn so when you remember the brand, let me know I can't eat it just yet, but in a couple weeks I can (a little)

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY EVERYONE AND STAY MOTIVATED http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

[This message has been edited by posie (edited 09-17-2003).]
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Old 09-17-2003, 11:59 AM   #13
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Well said, Jennielynn! I think it would also be a really good idea to make some of those brownies and a few other "allowable" treats, and freeze them, then have those as your reward. I know that, since I gave myself permission to eat frozen blueberries when I am really wanting anything high-carb... it suddenly doesn't seem to be the big issue it was.
I would also suggest, posie, that when hubby is being unsupportive, you tell him so- every time! Don't go "on the attack" but do say, "I am having a hard time with you eating that food in front of me. I am trying very hard to lose weight, and it would be easier for me if you would eat that kind of food when I'm not around." then get up and go for a walk, or do a short workout, or.... anything other than sit there watching him eat! It's worth a try anyhow. Maybe even ask him to walk with you. I don't know. I am just trying to come up with something that will help you through it. Good luck!
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Old 09-17-2003, 12:15 PM   #14
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Thanks chipmunkis!
I've been dieting for years now so we've been going around and around this for a while now. Sometimes he's o.k. with not saying anything. I guess I just wish (if wishes were money we'd all be rich) that I had his support and that he'd be, like all of you, inspiring and motivating me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Next time I think I will just leave and go do something else. Maybe he'll get the hint

I think it's just part of his personality too. He's just not the "cheerleader" type. (and I don't mean with the pompoms ) I think I'm resigned to the fact that he's just not gonna be much help in this regard. Oh well. At least he's not mentioning anything lately.

I have asked him to walk with me but he's a UPS driver and is walking and running all day!!! The last thing he wants to do, when he gets home, is more walking. But it was worth a try

I'm doing good today. I'll be off to the gym shortly. Claire won't leave me alone until I do http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Have a GREAT day http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif

[This message has been edited by posie (edited 09-17-2003).]
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Old 09-18-2003, 07:42 AM   #15
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hi all... i realized my post was pretty much pointless, but i wanted to tell you that the popcorn is called "Vic's Light Popcorn"... its delicious and not very many calories. i am not counting carbs or anything, so it is fine for me. i'm assuming if you are cutting carbs, it still would not be in your meal plan.

 
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