hi Jen,
Thanks for response. Truly appreciated your words and you have been always so supportive to everyone .( I have been reading lots of your posts

)
As for calories intake, I try to maintain under 1500 cal per day. So bascially I divide them into 400 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 300 for dinner and 200 or none for snacks. I thought eating 1500 is already a lot for me as of now. But maybe you are right, I might need to eat more. But I just have a big phobia of eating more would make me fat.
Yes, I did try super low calories diet before: I did 800 cal a day for one month and end up in hospital ( that was dumb since I was only a teenager) Then in the past I tried 1000 cal on and off as well. You are right, that was making me in starvation mode and I gained those all back later. That is why I set 1500 cal per day this time.. As you can see, I try to eat light and healthy. So mainly I consume brown rice w/ seafood soup ( made with lots seafood and veggie).
To be honest, after trying everything-you-name-it-I-tired-it-already, I really have no idea what to do now. But I just don't want to give up and I keep on telling myself at least I am not 245 lb now. *sigh* but still have 50~60 to shed...
Thanks from Jenny to another Jen..