Grimalkin

First of all, you can do it. But there is no instant solution, and sometimes, the weight loss is going to go slowly. Although I have little room to talk, weighing yourself constantly can be an enormous demotivator if you're not seeing constant progress, and it can make it enormously discouraging to go on if you don't see the results you feel you've earned through your lifestyle changes. Everyone gets discouraged at some time or another, but the key is to never give in to those little devils in your head telling you that it is all for naught. It will be worth it, in terms of your overall health, alone. You can beat this, though it may take longer than you expect!




You need to be congratulated for altering your diet the way you have, so far. It's a big step, and one that many people aren't ready for. Stay with it! I don't want to impose my own regimen (which is rather spartan and harsh, by dieting and exercise standards) on you, but if I might be so bold as to share my opinions of ONE approach to consider: avoid fried foods, avoid fruits in large quantities (because they have sugar content - maybe not white sugar, but it can still eventually metabolize to fat, unless used up during daily activity/exercise), stick to diet colas if you drink them. Reduce your caloric intake, for a time, to see if that can help in combination with an exercise program. There are many tools out there that tell you a person at X activity level, Y height, and Z weight should have XXX calories per day. Work from there - for example, if your "normal" intake should be 2000 calories, try 1500 a day. That way, you're not starving yourself, but you ARE lowering your intake.

I can not emphasize enough how important it is to continue exercising. Envying "those people" at the gym and thinking "I'll never be there" is a surefire way to cut your enthusiasm to pieces for self-improvement. Overcome it! You're overweight, yes, and it's a hard thing to hide. I'm overweight too - but I'm doing something about it! That makes all the difference in the world. There are a few ways to appease your sense of modesty, though: wear loose sweats, go to the gym at off hours where there are less people, or heck, if you live in an apartment and the complex provides a mini-gym place, use that!

Stop. That's all I can say, and I know how silly that sounds from another person that isn't living through what your living. But I've lived through my own version of it, and I realize how paralyzing, humiliating, and socially impairing it can be. It can even affect your love life, as my own experiences have shown - I didn't want my companion to see my body, because I was ashamed of it, and didn't want to subject her to... me. And no matter how one tries, one who is significantly overweight can't hide that fact well - it's simply the way it is. But the paranoia and labelling everyone but yourself as "beautiful people" has got to stop, luv. It has to. They are not better than you, they are simply different than you, and their own lives have generated their own problems - weight gain simply wasn't one of them. Remember, you are TRYING. Don't lose that spark of encouragement. Fashion a reasonable goal - try to attain it. If you can't, by the end of that goalsetting period, do not surrender. Rather, look at what you've done, and how you can change it.



My girlfriend said the same thing, and felt the same way as you describe your boyfriend. One large mistake is to take those words for granted, or to not believe their sincerity. It is a disservice to the person that loves you to attach a "but..." to their statements. That's your inner devils talking to you, trying to make even the good parts of your life have a gray lining. Feed off your boyfriend's love, dear lady. But as my girlfriend said to me, when I finally began showing results in weight loss, "Do this for yourself, not for me."

And that is what you have to do. You are trying to lose weight and get healthier for you, primarily. Be it for vanity, overall health, or a combination of both, YOU are going to reap the primary benefits. YOU must conquer these personal doubts, or shout above them, to maintain your enthusiasm and drive.

You need self-confidence, and that is the hardest thing to gain, in the process of weight loss. It's such a personal mission and personal goal, and each person is different in the way they feel, what they want, and how they work toward their goals. The first thing you need to do is stop looking at yourself as something less than normal. People throughout the world are overweight... many don't do a thing about it. I didn't, for years. But now, I am, and that makes me different. That gives me control of my life. And it gives you control of your life, lass.

You must work through this. If you do not see immediate results, tweak what you're doing slightly, and work from there. Also, go to a general practitioner, or a personal trainer, pay a small fee and ask for advice. They can help you learn "right" ways to pursue your path.

You can do this, absolutely and without a doubt. But you must concentrate on yourself, and not on what you feel the perceptions of others in the gym are. To hell with them, to be honest. This is about you. Be at the center of your own world, when working out. Concentrate on what you are accomplishing, not how far you have left to go. You might be pleased to note that some of these people that you envy recognize and applaud you for your efforts.

You're trying. Keep trying, keep doing, and stay focussed on your goals. Don't let the little devils in your head paralyze you into inaction.

You can do this.

-Grim