sivyaleah

I can empathize with you completely. I'm 45, only 5' and at my highest was close to 225. How I got there isn't important, what is important is that I finally had enough of feeling terrible and had an ephiphany one day that I just couldn't keep eating the way I was and expect to be ok.

I think with weight loss, you have to come to a point of rock bottom, sort of like with drugs/alcoholism before you can accept that you really have a problem. Once you get to that point - making a change becomes easier.

I had tried many "diets" throughout my life. The only sort of successful ones were being on Meridia, but when I went off it I gained it all back and then some. The other was Weight Watchers, but I lost motivation after a couple of months - that whole points system actually made me kind of nutty. I started out eating 29 points and after losing about 13 lbs, it was sopposed to go down to something like 23 points and I was just struggling to stay at the 29, so the 23 seemed unobtainable to me.

Nearly 3 months ago, after having my sudden serious acknowledgment of my need and desire to change I decided to just try doing it on my own by watching calories, eating lowfat, and also eating nutrionally balanced for the first time in my life. When I started adding up what I would eat on a normal day I was utterly horrified. Most days I bet I was eating 2000 calories, if not more, with that being very high in fat. Now, my intake is more like 1300.

I have not been struggling with the way I'm eating - I still allow myself to eat things which I love occassionally - moderation being the keyword. I.E.; no McDonalds several times a week, now only once a month, if that, only if I'm really feeling the craving.

I've lost 20 pounds in almost 3 months just by learning to eat correctly (there had been another 5 that had already came off prior for a total of 25 pounds lost so far). It seens to me this is about what anyone loses, on any "diet" in the same time frame, regardless of how you achieve it except for those fast fixes where you lose too much too soon. This equals about 1.5 pounds per week - give or take - which is a safe amount to lose. I have not incorporated any exercise as of yet - I'm still trying to gear myself up for that one but that battle is still going on for me (I have some physical problems which make it difficult and unenjoyable - but these are currently being addressed and the weight I've lost so far seems to be helping in that area also - so hopefully that part will change soon as well).

Portion control plays a huge part in this as well and I keep track daily of my intake as this help me focus on my goals. I am not obsessed, I do not feel deprived and I feel so much better than I did 3 months ago that it helps me push forward on those days when I might be feeling a bit weak in my efforts. I've gone through some plateaus, which I know are normal and honestly it was difficult to get through them - but I did and am so happy I didn't give into my old pattern of feeling defeated and then going back to my bad habits just to spite myself. I've NEVER been able to maintain eating right for this long a period and frankly, I think it has finally become a habit to eat well now - so I can envision myself continuing on this path for as long as it takes to get to my goal weight which is not based on charts - I have no goal to be "thin" per se - just healthier than I have been. Charts say I should be something like 125, which seems unrealistic to me (who knows tho what the future will hold tho).

Losing weight is very difficult no matter how you do it. Doing it quick and fast is unhealthy mentally and physically and doesn't address how you got to be where you are to begin with. If you're having trouble getting past those bad feelings of not feeling like you can do it alone - try seeing a therapist if possible to help discuss what is hindering you. I have done this as well and it's been very helpful too.

I hope I wasn't sounding preachy...I'm just letting you know you don't have to make yourself crazy over trying to become healthy. But, you do need some help and support to do so and the proper motivation to help you continue in those times where you feel you might fail.

Best of luck! We all know you can do it if you really put your mind to it!