Originally Posted by maggie0704
Jess1866 & Everyone else that battles w/weight:
I read your post & wanted to tell you that i admire you for pushing through your negative thoughts yesterday and coming out victorious!
But i couldn't help but feel envious when you said your height & weight. I guess body image issues can happen to anyone at any size. To me, that weight would be my dream. As i am 5'7 and weigh 192. I used to be 150 & even lower (138) but that was due to Adderrall and i ended up in rehab for that. But an unhealthy voice in my head misses that sooo much bcuz for the first time in a LONG time, i loved my body.
It has been 2 1/2 yrs. since i was that weight & due to 2 miscarriages i have put on 54lbs (due to depression i am sure). I can't even look in the mirror without feeling pure disgust and wanting to cry. I know that i am lucky and blessed for all that i do have and i know that it is selfish of me to focus on my body when things could be so much worse. But it is not something i can control. I can realize how lucky i am, and then it fades in a few minutes and i am back picking myself apart.
It used to be just my weight, but now i hate my skin (as it has changed since i turned 30 (now 31) & has blotches and moles on it and i am now fair skinned when i used to be oliveish toned. So i can't go in the sun bcuz i just burn and end up with a little tan that only lasts a few days.
To everyone in my life i am crazy.....they tell me i am beautiful and not fat , blah blah blah. But i don't see it and they get so frustrated with me, including my husband. But i see now that i get no glances from men when i used to get them daily along with them trying to pick me up. Now i'm lucky if i can get 1 glance a month from an old man.
Be happy with yourself regardless if everyone in South Beach is siz 0. I live in Florida and know how it is down there. Just remember the hell they probably go through and live in feeling the need to keep up with everyone and probably still
not liking themselves. Set yourself apart from them by making your personality shine and the people that are actually worth it will flock to you. Listen to me giving advice when i don't even follow it myself
Just wanted to share how i am feeling right now & hope i didn't come across self-absorbed bcuz it is not about that at all. And i know that my self-image is really unhealthy and needs to be worked on.
good luck all!
I'm so sorry that you have been going through some tough times, you sound like a lovely and intelligent young woman.
You're right, it's SO easy to give this advice and not take it yourself. That's a big part of the reason I created this post.
It's SO SO easy to get into the cycle of trying to lose weight the wrong way, not being able to lose, getting depressed, eating as a coping mechanism, and then feeling sorry for yourself. I've been there!
However, I think feeling sorry for yourself is the worst thing to do. You take away your ability to have control and power over any situation which is SO crucial to weight loss.
Instead of picking yourself apart, look at the body parts you love. Think about how good it felt to look at the body parts you loved when you were thinner. Use this as a motivator not another reason to feel sorry for yourself. One thing that works for me is the feeling of wanting to be comfortable in my own skin and not limit my LIFE because I'm not happy with my body. That's what I do when I don't go to the beach for the sole reason of not wanting to get into a bikini!
I suggest you start cutting back some "bad foods" and exercising. Exercising makes you feel so good about yourself.
Good Luck, I wish you all the best.