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Old 02-23-2008, 02:10 PM   #1
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I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I lose weight and I gain it back. I am an emotional eater-a binge eater too. And I just look at my body and hate it. It takes everything in my power to go to work everyday just because I hate the way my clothes fit-or shall I say barely fit. I feel like a fat ugly slob and don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone ever gone to therapy for an eating disorder and how did it go? I am sick of living like this. My relationship is going to suffer because I hate letting my boyfriend see my naked body (although he thinks I am perfect) and therefore, I have been finding excuses not to have sex lately. I just hate my big belly and would do anything to get rid of it but know that my issues lie deeper than just food.

 
Old 02-23-2008, 03:07 PM   #2
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv2sing View Post
I just don't know what to do anymore. I lose weight and I gain it back. I am an emotional eater-a binge eater too. And I just look at my body and hate it. It takes everything in my power to go to work everyday just because I hate the way my clothes fit-or shall I say barely fit. I feel like a fat ugly slob and don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone ever gone to therapy for an eating disorder and how did it go? I am sick of living like this. My relationship is going to suffer because I hate letting my boyfriend see my naked body (although he thinks I am perfect) and therefore, I have been finding excuses not to have sex lately. I just hate my big belly and would do anything to get rid of it but know that my issues lie deeper than just food.
Im sorry you feel this way but I can relate. I think if your issues go deeper than food you need to talk to someone about this. It might help to see a theripist and discuss your emotional issues. I think for most of us our food issues go a little deeper than just food. I had gastric bypass a few months ago. I feel better and more secure with myself. Im not pushing it on you of course but an option to look into and research. I do think you need to talk with someone though.

 
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Old 02-23-2008, 03:33 PM   #3
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Thanks for your reply. I did look into gastric bypass but don't meet the requirement to get it-I am 60lbs oveweight. I was thinking lap band maybe? But of cours ei think no matter what I do, I have to deal with my food issues first because if I don't , no procedure will benefit me, ya know? I just hat ethat I have this obsession and wish I could just make it stop but really wonder how talking to someone can MAKE it stop, ya know?

 
Old 02-24-2008, 09:30 AM   #4
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv2sing View Post
Thanks for your reply. I did look into gastric bypass but don't meet the requirement to get it-I am 60lbs oveweight. I was thinking lap band maybe? But of cours ei think no matter what I do, I have to deal with my food issues first because if I don't , no procedure will benefit me, ya know? I just hat ethat I have this obsession and wish I could just make it stop but really wonder how talking to someone can MAKE it stop, ya know?
I am really sorry for you. I know exactly how you feel. Hopefully you will find a way how to lose weight soon! Maybe you should really go and see a theripist. He might help you. Have you already talked to your doctor about your overweight? Maybe he could prescribe you a diet pill like kioslim. Or what about special dieting programs like weight watchers? Have you ever tried something like this?

 
Old 02-24-2008, 09:39 AM   #5
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Ding HB User
Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Are you doing any form of exercise at the moment? Exercise is often prescribed for people suffering from depression, as it releases feel-good hormones in the blood, and lifts your mood. Plus it has the added benefit of helping hugely with weightloss and making you feel more confident, strong and healthy in your body. I can appreciate that you are feeling low and upset with your body and relationship to food, but I urge you not to think that surgery is some kind of miracle cure.

Losing weight can be difficult, and it takes lifestyle changes and sacrifices. A balance needs to be found between food and exercise, to try and lose weight through going on a diet alone almost always ends in failure, and can lead to weird relationships with food and body image.

I'd recommend thinking seriously about doing some form of exercise at least twice a week, and see how your mood, attitude and feelings towards yourself and food are affected after a month of this. If you find no change, then is the time to perhaps start looking to other options like surgery or therapy. It sounds simple and "oh its easy for you to say", but seriously, I know what it feels like to feel bad about your body, and how working out can have incredible positive effects on by mood. If you want to start feeling good about yourself then you have to be willing to get tough with yourself and assessing your life, and making positive changes to help yourself. The simple sounding solutions are often the most effective. I wish you the best of luck.

 
Old 02-24-2008, 09:50 AM   #6
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv2sing View Post
Thanks for your reply. I did look into gastric bypass but don't meet the requirement to get it-I am 60lbs oveweight. I was thinking lap band maybe? But of cours ei think no matter what I do, I have to deal with my food issues first because if I don't , no procedure will benefit me, ya know? I just hat ethat I have this obsession and wish I could just make it stop but really wonder how talking to someone can MAKE it stop, ya know?
Well when you talk with someone a professional they can help you find the underlinning issues that make you turn to food. The lapbands a great idea for your weight. If you choose to that is. I do think you need to call a theripist though. Its not a big deal they deal with these things theres no shame in it and it might make you feel better.

 
Old 02-24-2008, 09:53 AM   #7
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

[QUOTE=Ding;3456294]Are you doing any form of exercise at the moment? Exercise is often prescribed for people suffering from depression, as it releases feel-good hormones in the blood, and lifts your mood. Plus it has the added benefit of helping hugely with weightloss and making you feel more confident, strong and healthy in your body. I can appreciate that you are feeling low and upset with your body and relationship to food, but I urge you not to think that surgery is some kind of miracle cure.
[QUOTE]

Your exactly right exercise has helped me feel better. And I notice a difference in my body with exercise also. And no surgery isnt a mircale cure either I agree. I don't think its for everyone. But I was lucky it seemed to cure everything for me. emotions and all.

Last edited by LostN07; 02-26-2008 at 06:53 AM.

 
Old 02-24-2008, 07:29 PM   #8
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

I highly recommend seeing a counselor for this! It sounds like you are struggling with some body image problems. I know I have issues with this and I know it's really, really tough. I'm not overweight, yet sometimes I just hate how I look so much. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so I see every little flaw instead of the whole picture.

Just wondering, when you say you lose weight and gain it back, are you usually really restricting what you eat or doing a diet on the extreme side? I know you can get quick results this way, but I've learned the hard way that in the long run, these don't work and you really have to find a routine that works for YOU. Everybody is different. I've recently tried the Five Factor plan and I love it because it lets you eat every few hours, so you are less likely to binge. You also have a once-a-week cheat day where you can eat junk food and whatever you want.

Here are some helpful tips that have helped me... I hope that some can work for you as well:

1. Don't buy any foods that you will feel guilty eating. If something is around, you will be tempted to eat it. Instead, stock up on foods that you like that are good for you and if you buy the occasional treat, buy it in a small one serving package size so you won't overeat.

2. Don't wait to reward yourself until you lose weight. Be good to yourself NOW. Maybe every week you can give yourself a small reward for all the hard work to get into shape... if you don't treat yourself well now, you will continue to feel bad. Sometimes I just treat myself to some new music downloads so I'll actually WANT to go work out so I can listen to them on my ipod.

3. Find a fitness routine you actually like. I enjoy dance DVD's, pilates, and the elliptical machine. I just go at a comfortable pace and don't push myself too hard or I get exhausted. I try to keep it fun and switch it up to keep it interesting. Even a nice relaxing walk on a nice day is good and it will help you clear your mind.

4. Journal.... write about how you feel and write about the things that made you happy one day and the things that upset you. It may help you realize if there is an underlying issue that caused body image problems. I realized that when a doctor made a rude comment about my weight in the past, it was still hurting me now even though I didn't really think about that particular time.

5. Keep open communication with your boyfriend. Maybe there is a way he can help. I got my boyfriend to do the Five Factor plan with me so we keep each other motivated. We also like to work out together.

Good luck to you and try to talk to a counselor if you can! It can really help out a lot. Also one more thing... don't push yourself to lose weight really quickly or most likely it'll just come right back on. I usually lose a pound a week or so, so it takes a while, but it's easier in the long run and keeps up your metabolism since you aren't starving yourself or anything.

 
Old 02-25-2008, 06:17 PM   #9
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

hi,
you have got some really good information here, its what you do with it that counts.
stop being down on yourself, things could be much much more worse than they really are with you. 60 lbs overweight is not all that bad and I bet you don't look bad at all.the lap band is probablt a good tool for you but you probably don't qualify with your bmi..I think your bmi needs to be at least 35? you maybe borderline...for some the gastric by pass is a good tool and also the lap-band.
if you over eat with that it would be hard for you to gain because your full at just a bite and very low calorie adsorption.

just try to get yourself motivated and start on a low calorie plan that fits your needs as not to be hungry..exercise helps/sex look at all tehm calories you be buring up and not to mention the pleasure heck even if its just a good long walk thats a good start.
cheer up and learn to love yourself for you and get on a plan maybe for you and your guy togather.
keep that chinn up girl or I'll come to your house and kick your... you know what!!!
I wish you the best.

 
Old 02-26-2008, 08:14 PM   #10
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luv2sing HB User
Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chevyman View Post
hi,
you have got some really good information here, its what you do with it that counts.
stop being down on yourself, things could be much much more worse than they really are with you. 60 lbs overweight is not all that bad and I bet you don't look bad at all.the lap band is probablt a good tool for you but you probably don't qualify with your bmi..I think your bmi needs to be at least 35? you maybe borderline...for some the gastric by pass is a good tool and also the lap-band.
if you over eat with that it would be hard for you to gain because your full at just a bite and very low calorie adsorption.

just try to get yourself motivated and start on a low calorie plan that fits your needs as not to be hungry..exercise helps/sex look at all tehm calories you be buring up and not to mention the pleasure heck even if its just a good long walk thats a good start.
cheer up and learn to love yourself for you and get on a plan maybe for you and your guy togather.
keep that chinn up girl or I'll come to your house and kick your... you know what!!!
I wish you the best.
Thanks so much, I wish I had you as my personal motivation

My boyfriend knows NOTHING about my food issues. He loves me very much and I know that would not change things but it's a problem that I am dealing with myself because I honestly don't think anyone would understand. I mentioned to him that I wanted to lose 50lbs and he said that I was crazy and that I was "perfect". I just don't think he knows to what degree I hate my body. He calls me "hourglass" and I think I'm just a blob. I hate that I feel this way and feel like there is no way out of this hole that I dug myself into.

 
Old 02-26-2008, 11:20 PM   #11
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

Yeah me too...

well for one reason your b/f is like he is he's just being nice and does not want to hurt your feelings.

maybe he is right, I bet you don't look all that bad, but I do understand how you feel about yourself, it always seems much more worse to the person looking in that nasty old mirror..

when your on TV you look bigger than you really are.
but theres a way to fix all of that, just get yourself motivated,do what ever it takes after you start a plan to lose weight and exercise and you start losing it's actully fun and you can't wait for the next day to come after you lost all the weight you want then your life will be more of a pleasure for you and buying the nice clothes you want maybe a 2 piece swim suite ect,,ect, turning all them guys heads, a girl loves that even if there in a realtionsgip I know they love it.
your going to love it and it will soon happen for you.

so just get out of that nasty old rut your in girl thats an order from the chevyman....+

 
Old 02-28-2008, 12:06 PM   #12
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

It's really great that you have a supportive guy! That's really important. He may love how you look and many guys aren't into the stick thin look that some girls go for. I'm sure he will understand that you want to do this for YOU and you want to feel good about yourself. Best of luck to you!

 
Old 02-28-2008, 03:56 PM   #13
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

I am new to this board and actually joined because I too dont know what to do . I saw your topic...and everything you have been saying is EXACTLY how I feel!! I wont go out in public anymore...my work life has been failing as well as my relationship with my boyfriend of many years. I think EVERYONE is making fun of me.....and most times they are. My problem is that I was always a skinny girl in high school...about 115. As soon as I graduated up till today which is 3 years or so, I am about 170. Everyone makes fun of me....I hate it....And when I see someone I havent seen for a few years or even one they cant believe it. This has ruined my life in more ways then one . I cant seem to get motivated to exercise and all I want to do is sleep. I have major headaches and am always sick which is probably associated with gaining so much weight. If I dont smarten up soon enough there will be other major health problems. Would you be interested in being internet work out buddies or anything? I dont know...I do sort of need motivation from someone that feels the same way. Its just a thought! I do need to do something though

 
Old 02-29-2008, 11:29 AM   #14
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Unhappy Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

I need help too. I can so relate to this subject. I have been binge eating and cannot seem to stop. A good weight for me is about 140 and right now I am 175 and climbing. I am a closet eater. I also cannot get enough "bad" food into my mouth. My drugs of choice are sugar and fat. I don't know what to do anymore. My boyfriend also tells me "you look fine, you are beautiful" but he is just being kind to me. In the meantime, he works out all the time, is a careful eater and looks terrific. I have to go on a cruise the end of May with another couple and I am dreading it. What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop eating??? I am starting not to fit into my stretch waist pants (that I swore I would never buy). I don't dare try to fit into anything else.

Help!!!!!!
Peggy
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Peggy

 
Old 03-04-2008, 06:01 AM   #15
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Re: I just need help because I hate myself so much. I am so fat.

So I started back on Weight Watchers last week-and I me ON. I followed EXACTLY and did EVERYTHING. And I didn't lose one ounce. I could cry. What is wrong with me? I did WW before and lost so much.

 
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