It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Weight Loss Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-28-2001, 08:53 AM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 9
happygal HB User
So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

Firstly, don't be fooled by my tag. Anyone with a weight problem knows how easy it is to get stuck in the "Happy-fat-person" role, when in reality you are crying inside.

ANyways.....I am at 254lbs. I am 5'4". I know there are others that weigh more, but lets face it, at this size I am a fat, ugly cow. I hate myself, and I don't have one ounce of self esteem. I don't know how to build this or how to change the way I feel. I went to my doctor and she laughed at my suggestion of bypass surgery. She said my insurance would help cover an Optifast program.....yeah, right. It would still cost me $100 A WEEK, and I would have to travel an hour each way to get to the weekly "classes". Both of these (especially the money bit) are out of reach for me.

To just "go home and stick to a diet" doesn't work. I may be fat but I'm not a moron. If it were that simple, I'd be thin by now.

Now I get totally hopeless and worthless feelings, I'm embarrassed to go out or be seen in public and I can't even walk in front of a mirror without crying. I feel suicidal, and yet people around me want to trivialise my issues. I am already taking anti-depressants, is there any hope at all?

ANY feedback or ANY sort is much appreciated.
Thanks for listening.
(UN)happygal

 
Old 03-28-2001, 09:23 AM   #2
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 27
Kennedy HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

I am not kidding when I say GET A NEW DOCTOR!At 200 lbs my doctor didn't laugh it off with me.He took me seriously and offered diet plans, regular weigh ins and if NOTHING else worked and I continued to gain he would seriously condsider it. I am now pregnant and am terrified at what my weight will be after. Someone on here actually called me a moron for wanting to maintain my weight for my blood pressure problem seeing as at 212 right now my blood pressure has gone from "okay " to " bad" so I know what you mean about it killing you. There are so many ways to lose weight that are healthy. It is not easy. I still have to wonder about these people who can "stick" to a new plan/lifestyle SO easily without falling off. If you have a problem with food its not that easy and don't let anyone make you think it is or that something is wrong with you because you can't so it like they can. People will say "Atkins diet" you won't be hungry but realistically unless you want to live off bacon and never get tired of meat and hate chocolate and want to gain every pound + back if you go back to carbs it's not for you.I always laugh when people forget and leave that out and then say "you'll gain anyhting back if you go back to old eating habits" THERE CARBOHYDRATES 95% percent of food has them! You could try Weight Watchers winning points program. In Canada(notoriously more than theUS) its only $40 to join(including materials) and something like $12 a week and it has meeting too that really help. Optifast I thought was a liquid diet?Thats can't be fun. This may be slower but it works and is so easy. I have a friend who her DH is 310 lbs and she is 275 and they have been on it 4 weeks now. Or there is richard simmons but that costs alot if you want the whole program.His tapes are really good for low impact though. I know its so hard but and I have felt like an idiot and failure because I couldn't seem to stick to anything long term and I tried so hard but people don't care! They think there is something wrong with you if you can't. They also accuse you of having "other" problems if you get upset about it or it bothers you what people say about your weight. I find that really disturbing for obvious reasons.I plan to go on back on WW after august and having my son since I can eat anything I want on it.Thats all I can really suggest is A program like these. Hope that helped.Sorry to ramble so much!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-28-2001, 11:41 AM   #3
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 5
Deb_in_CA HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

HappyGal,

How old are you? I agree with Kennedy in that you really should find a new Dr. One closer to you if nothing else. There are many doctors that are sensitive to weight issues and you should find one that will support you in losing weight. But, gastric bypass surgery isn't something that should be considered lightly. We all know how difficult it is to lose weight - we all struggle with it every day, but surgery should be the last consideration.

Weight Watchers is a great program, and isn't as costly as some others. There are local meetings all over the place. Check out their website to find locations near you. I think you would benefit from the group dynamics and being with people once a week that know exactly what you're suffering with. The group can be very helpful and comforting and you may even be able to build your self-esteem by going every week.

Being that you are on anti-depressants, I don't think you can take any of the appetite suppressants. You would really need to check with a doctor before taking ANY medications.

I think the important thing to remember is that being overweight is no reason to want to kill yourself. There are hundreds of thousands of overweight people in this world, you are not alone. People may look at you funny or make remarks, or snicker behind your back, but so what! You can lose weight. Is is easy? Hell No! But can it be done? Absolutely!

Just remember that it took you years to gain the weight and it will take time to lose it. You just need to find something that works for you. Being fat is not the end of the world. Believe it or not, there are worse fates out there.

Good Luck!
Deb <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

 
Old 03-28-2001, 01:21 PM   #4
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

well im 19 now and use to weigh 245 at 14,i was only a kid.my doctor told me to lose weight but i never put mind to it.now i weigh 155-160.nothing is imposible,just believe in yourself,and nobody else.theres alot of things that can stop you from reaching your goals,but you have to just do it for yourself.my family members and girlfriend eat junk food and are always telling me if i want to join them,but i say no.i always feel angry wen they ask me,but i know they are only trying to be nice,alot of things can be used as excuses to not lose weight.but you have to do everything for YOURSELF,not just to please others.killing yourself is not the answer

 
Old 03-28-2001, 02:34 PM   #5
Di Di is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 17
Di HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

happygal,

Wow, you post was very touching. Have you thought about possibly getting some counseling? If you are truly feeling so badly about yourself, it is probably due to more than your weight. Self esteem is critical to any weight loss plan. You have to love yourself and feel that you are worth the effort.

As far as Richard Simmons plan. Someone mentioned that it is very expensive. I don't know what they consider expensive, but my whole program cost me $37.00. That's it, that's all. It is a sensible eating plan, just eating the same diet that the American Dietetic Association and Food Pyramid recommends. It has worked for me. I started at 205 (i'm a 37 year old woman, 5'2" tall) and today I weigh 179. It's not a miracle plan though, and it does require control. Just wanted to point out that it is NOT expensive. Weight watchers is waaaay more costly.

Good luck to you...and God Bless You!

Love, Di <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

 
Old 03-28-2001, 04:38 PM   #6
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 5
Deb_in_CA HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

Di,

Where did you purchase your Richard Simmons program? It is the Food Mover program, right? What does it include? I'm interested in just simple, plain old fashioned good sense nutrition to get the weight off. I'm through with fads or gimmicks (except I am on an appetite suppressant or I'd go nuts with eating most days).

Sounds like you've had good results from the program. I don't know that I could work out to his tapes because I find him a bit over the top for me. I do TaeBo in the morning and really enjoy that.

Thanks!
Deb <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

 
Old 03-28-2001, 05:28 PM   #7
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 27
Kennedy HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

I saisd it was expensive because a friend of mine just paid $250.00 for his whole program of things.For those of us who have been ROYALLY ripped off on the internet(stolen credit card number and massive damage from what was called a secure server!!) it costs a whole lot more to send a check and wait and wait....On his website they sent me an email expecting me to wait 6-12 weeks after cashing my cheque.I wanted to start right away. Thats what I meant.I like WW because there meetings are VERY supporitve and greatly help the process.

 
Old 03-29-2001, 07:19 AM   #8
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

OK- first off, being fat can be depressing... and I am not trivializing it at all... however STOP IT!!!! Sitting here and dwelling on it and how amazingly depressing it is won't help! Suicide is the cowards way out... remember that everytime you feel like suicide is a vallad option. You are to beautiful, intelligent and too worthy to waste yourself that way... fat or not.

You have to #1 GET A NEW DOCTOR FAST... because the jackass your seeing is has his head up his derrier.

#2 tell yourself and treat yourself worthy. I know this is hard when you are depressed. I have suffered from depression in the past myself... but treating yourself with the respect your due really is an action that will create self esteem. if you force yourself to treat yourself well you will eventually start believing that you deserve to be treated that way and treat yourself that way more. It is VERY hard in the beginging and still there are some days when I wonder why in hell my husband is with me or why I am worth it... but whenever I start doing that now I realize it, get off my tuff and do something productive.

#3- find something productive to do... find something you feel is worthy and helpful to the world... whether that is volunteer work, planting some flowers, get a dog and share some love with it... what ever you know how to or can learn how to do that will make you feel like your doing something good... for me it was working with women recovering from rape, teaching my sons and playing with my dog.

#4- on the note of beauty and excersize.. here is my general view. I am 5'3 248lbs (I have already lost 28lbs) I am just as beautiful as I was when i was 136 just out of basic training. I forgot that for a little while, but then was approached to do some plus sized modeling. I totally did not feel worthy of having other people look at me.. but you would be amazed at how much feedback I have gotten from people since I did. Men telling me I am gorgeous and women telling me thank you for doing the modeling because it reminded them that fat women are still women and can be just as beautiful. That is my view on beauty... you are still just as beautiful, get up and do things to improve yourself esteem and make you remember that!!!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

Excersize- start simple.. I have been using the Richard Simmons plan and it was not that expensive. It is really helpful to see other fat people in his videos huffing it allong with me... if they can do it I can do it. For eating I just started sticking to a diabetic diet.. basically cutting out all pop, I still let myself have dessert once or twice a week but I substitue it for a roll or some other serving of food. I finally got around to getting that dog I wanted so now I HAVE to walk her 4-5 times a day to do her business... but the point is it gets me moving... You don't have to jump in and run a marathon but every little thing you do helps.. from parking further from the door at the supermarket and returning the carts to the corrals to dancing around the house to your favorite music. Every little bit helps.

 
Old 03-29-2001, 08:53 AM   #9
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 9
happygal HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

Thank you.....everyone. I cannot believe that so many folks out there actually care. You have all helped make my day. I feel like maybe I can get myself started on something worthwhile for ME. And maybe it really doesn't matter if it takes a long time. And maybe it's OTHER people who have the problem if they don't like me being fat.......as long as I am working on it and can somehow see the "good" in me, that's what should really matter, right?

I am gonna go digest all of the good advice. The main thing I want to say is THANK YOU. I feel a lot less hopeless now. You guys are great!

 
Old 03-29-2001, 03:36 PM   #10
Di Di is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 17
Di HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

Kennedy,

I can't imagine what your friend purchased from Richard Simmons to equal $250.00???? He MUST have purchased stuff NOT needed or included in the plan. I know that Richard does sell stuff like a water bottle, a heart rate monitor, a scale, etc. Maybe your friend just went on a shopping spree!

I must be lucky as far as purchasing on the Internet, because I make about 90% of ALL my purchases via the internet, with my credit card, and have NEVER had one bit of trouble. I just LOVE shopping on the Net. Sorry to hear that you had a bad experience though. The one thing that I am careful about is that before I buy anything from an unknown retailer (like other than Amazon.com or Barnes and NOble. com etc) I always check them out with the Better Business Bureau. If I can't find them, then I don't buy from them. I have always been able to find INCREDIBLE deals on the Net, and it would take a LOT to stop! Just an example, I bought my daughter a brand new flute...locally flutes cost $700.oo and most online stores were similar. I was able to find a music store in New York (via the Net) and purchased her a brand new, fully warrented flute for $300!!! Same brand and model that locally sold for $700. I was a happy camper!

So hopefully, you maybe will have a better experience with the internet in the future.

DEB-

I replied to your question about Richard Simmons on a separate posting.

God Bless!

Love, Di <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"><p>[This message has been edited by Di (edited 03-29-2001).]

 
Old 03-29-2001, 05:13 PM   #11
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: MT CLEMENS, MI
Posts: 99
littlebit HB User
Re: So fat I want to kill myself.....before the fat does it for me

hello happygirl

nothing is worth killing yourself. if you want to change the way you look you can. take one bad thing out of your diet at a time. if you don't exercise get a good pair of tennis shoes and do some walking. it can be very effective and it will just make you feel good. i am a thin person who feels down quite a bit about myself and a good walk helps me out. nobody is perfect out there.

goodluck

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I want to cry US miss Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) (CRPS) 5 10-10-2010 10:30 PM
I am a cheater and want to change for the sake of saving my LTR - Help! scorpiolover Relationship Health 26 05-14-2008 11:55 PM
just want a miracle pill arenagirl Depression 4 11-17-2007 05:02 PM
Why do I want to hurt him? Divation Relationship Health 20 07-06-2005 12:19 PM
I'm lost. I want to be free Man Apart Depression 82 05-09-2005 12:12 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Effexor Meridia
Paxil
Phentermine
Potassium
  Prozac
Synthroid
Xenical
Wellbutrin
Zoloft




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



janewhite1 (8), slenderella (4), Kszan (3), hollns (3), Administrator (3), Jess75 (3), Lisa_P (3), JohnR41 (2), MysticDreams (2), Daisy65 (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:47 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!