hegemony

I eat when I am hungry.
In the summer I was tracking my calorie intake at anywhere from 500-1000 cals per day. I do not believe I am anorexic because I do not have a fear of gaining weight from eating, I just don't have much of an appetite. Sometimes the thought of food being in my mouth or being swallowed (varies) makes me feel gross.

At 92 pounds (I am only 5 feet tall) I finished a cardio workout and after the first sip of my protein shake I felt weak and nauseated. Shortly after, I could not stop throwing up even at the point when there was NO food in my body. I ended up going to the hospital and they could not figure out what was wrong with me, just gave me a pill to reduce vomiting and sent me home. After spending about half an hour nibbling on a soda cracker (bc of the vomiting) my stomach finally began feeling better after 24 hours of vomiting with no food intake. -- other than SOME flattened gingerale and low acid apple juice.

After that experience I realized that I have been confusing appetite and hunger. So although I was eating when I felt hungry, this was at the point of starvation. I didn't have an appetite but my body still required sustenance.

I began eating more and now I achieve the proper calorie intake my size.. I eat a few times a day but I tend to eat a lot sometimes - some could consider this binge eating - but i never throw up!

Prior to this summer of possibly being anorexic -- low calorie intake, eating when I have appetite - I would overeat and I feel that I am at this point again.
The problem is that I cannot register when I am hungry - I can go all day then realize I need to eat something but no matter how much I eat I feel exactly the same.

I wake up knowing what my meal plan will be and count the hours until dinner. I hate this.