Real Life Hit Me This Morning... I don't want to be a statistic.
I am overweight. Have been my whole life. I am Italian and Italian mothers use food to show their love...I know because I have become my mother. My mother, however, was not overweight, so she must have REALLY loved me.
I can no longer blame anyone for being overweight. No one put a gun to my head to make me eat. I was weak and still am, but here is what got to me. I went out with my girlfriends last night. It has been awhile since we have gone out, so I got out my nice capris that I usually wear when I go out. Its been awhile since I have gone out...honestly, so it was a complete surprise to me when NOTHING fit me. I had gotten larger to the point that I realized then and there, in the privacy of my bedroom that I had NOTHING to wear...I was depressed to say the least. I did, however, find one pair of "fat" pants tucked away in the back of my closet. It really bothered me to wear them. I made a vow last night that I have to CHANGE and that I am putting my health at risk. The reason it didn't get me before is because I spend my days in stretchy gym shorts around the house, to the market and what have you.
I thought about it all night...what was I going to do? Been to Weight Watchers more times than I want to admit. I never last more than a few weeks. I didn't want to do Atkins, was tired of throwing my bread to the birds and being crabby. I searched and searched the web...then, I just decided to cut my caloric intake. I remember someone saying, not sure who it was, some nutrition person, anyway,they said it best when asked how do you lose weight? They said, "eat less, and move more".
When I woke up to see one of my favorite actors have died at 51, James Gandolfini, it REALLY hit me. I am 53. I don't want to die. I want to be around for my children and their children. I have abused my body for so long, I am ashamed. I can not predict if I will be successful, after all I have tried and tried before, but this time I have something I didn't have before...FEAR. Its not just about looking good anymore, its my health, and although right now, I don't have any heart or blood pressure issues, I do have Osteoarthritis and back issues. I had to quit work due to this and most of my days are filled with pain, so I can not move like I use to. I am joining a swimming club where I can use water to exercise suggested by my doctors. But my doctors and friends are not going to be around 24/7 to make sure I STAY on track. Its all up to me.
Wish me luck. God Bless you all.