In short: 2 years ago I tested positive on a HPT, I told my partner who was pleased beyond words but then my OB tested negative, I was hit with what I can only decribe as grief (even though I hadn't lost anything), I lied to my partner and said I had m/c as I couldn't bring myself to tell him I was wrong and disapoint him so much (yes I have seen a counsellor for this). Now I am pregnant and am worried my new OB will be able to tell I have not been pregnant or m/c, can they?
HPTs can be wrong and I cant even begin to understand why someone would feel they have to lie and say they m/c just to protect someone from disappointment. The tests can be wrong plain and simple...not something to lie over.
Well I think you should see your doctor and explain what happened because your doctor will need to know your medical history. Your partner if he goes with you will undoubtably mention the supposed m/c. Most women that have actual m/cs have to watched carefully to try and avoid another one. Your partner will only be trying to do things in your best interest and if you dont talk to the doctor he/she will not know what is going on. So at least talk to the doctor privately and let them know what is actually going on.
Though in most cases as long as the m/c happened before three months then no they cant tell if you were ever pregnant.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
Thank-you for you reply, I know I did wrong, but I can't turn back the clock; as much as I want to, and I don't know why I lied, I can't explain it but I did and there is nothing I can do about it now, I came here for help or advice and I thank-you for your advice but believe me I have tortured myself enough over this and I don't need preaching to.
I am not sure if the doctor could tell if you were ever pregnant, but if he could and your partner asked questions, your secret could come out. As hard as it will be, I think you should tell your partner the truth about the white lie. That way you will feel better for telling the truth and he won't accidentally stumble across the truth some other way.
[This message has been edited by Trinket (edited 01-13-2003).]
The doctor can't tell if you were pregnant but will ask if you have ever been pregnant before as they put this on your medical records. Your number of pregnancies will listed as gravida ___ and your number of live births as para ___ This will be on your medical records so you will probably want to straighten this out with your partner sometime soon or you will have be lying to the doc as well.
You should tell the truth, but it's hard once the lie is there. You could say to the Dr. you don't know if you were PG or not. Tell him you took the HPT and it was positive, and then sometime later you got your period. You're not sure if it was an MC, or a false positive test. This could've actually happened, you could've been PG, and had an MC. Probably not, but a lot of people MC very early, not even knowing they were PG. This would not make your medical records false, and be a softer blow to the father. Good luck to you.