hard for me to make friends :( - Women's Health Message Board

dah · 09-18-2003, 07:57 PM

hey, ok i will keep this short. i really need some help with my personality!!! i am a freshman in college. in highschool i had and still have a boyfriend for three years...but thats not the point really....i had a few friends a few good ones my junior ans senior year.but now i am at a different school, i am on the xc team. all the freshman girls live in the dorms, and i live at home, because it is in my home town well 5 miles away to be exact. but i feel so left out

i have a hard time striking up a conversaton with these girls. there are some older ones but they have already esablished their friendships. so these freshman in the dorms are always walking in together and laughing, while i sit there almost crying b-cus i feel so left out.

i am pathetic i know. but i feel like i have a hard time making friends....its not that they are jelouse...they are all real pretty girls and some of them are faster than me but some slower. well they keep getting in a little circle and talk, while i am sitting there strecthing. i overherd one of the girls say "you didnt say anythign did you!!!?" and they have all hung out on the town and gone bowling and gone out to eat, but never have invited me

i need some help here. what is wrong with me...i have never really been outgoing at all. but i feel it is too late to try and fit in with the freshman girls. you dont understand..i am almost crying b-cus they are all talking in a little circle and i am obvielsy out of it...i am also embarasses b-cus my coach notices the whole thing...he once came up to me and told me that i didnt have much to say...i was so embarasses! he likes me but he doesnt talk to me, and no one else on the team does either. (yes i shower and wash my clothes) what can i do to try to fit in with these girls who remind so much of highschool. i want to jsut grow up and be everyones friend..no more huddles and no more people being left out...

dah

~jennifer~ · 09-19-2003, 03:37 PM

hey, i had the excact same thing at my old school, as i hated it, i decided to join another school this year, and i luv it, i don't know what you could do against it, you could just try and talk along with them and not be quiet, just think, what's the worse that can happen? it's not like you're dying, im sure they like you as you seem like such a nice person, so don't worry about that, just try to communicate with them and don't be afraid, you have to get over this, and you will, you're the only one who can make a difference so just don't be scared, well sorry if i haven't been much of a help but i hope it gets better!! good luck!!!

brightstar · 09-20-2003, 01:56 PM

Hey I can't really give any advice, but just know you're not the only one who feels like this. I had a small group of close friends in high school but then when I went to college I didn't really make any close friends. I mean, I got along with pretty much everyone, but they would all get together and I would never be invited. A month ago I just moved to Vegas and I feel like I don't really know how to meet people. I mean, in school you meet people in your classes or teams or whatever, but most of the people I work with are older, like my parents age.

I feel like I'm throwing my own "pity party" now. Focus on the people who are close to you and concentrate on what you like about yourself. It can be easy to get down and think "what's wrong with me?" There's nothing wrong with you!

SugarFreeSheila · 09-21-2003, 07:23 AM

Oh Dah, honey - everybody's been there at some point or another. The worst thing you could do is try to butt in on their conversations, dish out glib "Nice shirt!" compliments, or, worst of all, go into a corner & avoid all eye contact with everybody. If what you're doing isn't working, try something else!

For example, the best advice I could give you is to always have a happy, positive disposition. Keep your studies & assignments completed & on schedule (it matters, trust me lol), keep exercising the way you do, eat well, & your good attitude about life in general will inevitably shine through - and TRUST me, people respond to that. Make eye contact & smile, but still maintain a "take me or leave me" attitude. You'll undoubtedly make friends this way!!

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