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Old 10-18-2004, 06:02 AM   #1
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fallen#angel HB User
Unhappy i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

hay every1, im 18 years old and found out that i am 8 weeks pregnant, i was so happy as i got told that i might not be able to have kids, but my boyfriend of a year and a half told me that i need to get an abortion, i told him that i wanted to keep the baby, he didnt speak to me for a week. when we sat down and had a talk about it he told me it i really wanted to keep the baby i had to move out and we would split up.
i told him to give me time to think about it which he said he will, then on saturday we went to my mates 30th birthday, which she knows that i am pregnant, and she was having a talk to him they had both had a few drinks by this time, he later came over to me and said that every1 knew that i was pregnant, then when my younger sister was holding my mates baby my boyfriend went up to her and said your sister and i will have on of those soon. i don't understand and am very confused i dont know what he wants now. has he changed his mind or was it just just drink talk. please help what do i say to him.

 
Old 10-18-2004, 08:51 AM   #2
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hayley0610 HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

ive been EXACTLY where you are now when i was 19. i was with my now ex bf for 5 yrs! i suddenly got pregnant and it wasnt planned at all! i was scared at first but then got very excited and keeping it was my choice no matter how my bf reacted. we had been living together already for a couple yrs and i saw no reason why i shouldnt have it!! he was not happy to say the least and neither was his mother!! he tried every trick in the book to get me to change my mind to no avail!! we fought a lot during the pregnancy but that was something we had always done. After a couple months he started to get very excited and warmed up to it and after a healthy pregnancy i had a little girl. we split up after she was 4 months old BUT that had NOTHING to do with the baby at all, we just didnt get along anymore and i was also still very young. needless to say my daughter is now 12 and i am so happy i didnt get "rid" of her. This is something you need to decide on and by the sounds of things youve made up ur mind. you can either do a few things now thats been done. hope he comes around,w hich he prob will or decide that you def. could raise this child on ur own if need be. ultimately this is ur decsision and he prob will get use to it but dont be shocked if you 2 end up breaking up if he doesnt, you must decide if this baby is worth that.

 
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Old 10-18-2004, 12:30 PM   #3
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ladivapr HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

Congrats, have the baby no matter what

 
Old 10-18-2004, 12:40 PM   #4
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eyelinerfairy HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

heya, as your still quite young you really have to think about if you can support this baby and is it the right time for you to have this child. remember, you are rge one carrying this child whether your boyfriend likes it or not, its your body and he cant make you do anything you dont want to. you have to weigh up the pro's and cons, and dont let anyone make your decision for you. can you give this child all it needs? if your bf ups and leaves because of it if you choose to keep it, you can do a great job by yourself im sure-you sound over the moon (and by the way congratulations that you managed to get pregnant even though there was doubt over whether you could ). this is your choice, and whatever you choose, people will stick by you. keep us updated take care
lis

 
Old 10-18-2004, 12:51 PM   #5
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mandersBC HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

Your boyfriend needs to realize that he is now a father. He did not object to participating in the conception, did he? Since you want to keep your baby, he needs to support you and this new life. If he refuses, then you and your baby can make a pleasant life together without him.

As far as the "drunk talk" goes, I can tell you what I've observed. When I am around my boyfriend and other males who are drinking, they say stupid things - I'm sure you've witnessed this. However, sometimes their true feelings come out. Perhaps he is simply afraid of this new responsibility, and doesn't know how to be supportive - this is as new to him as it is to you. Let him know that you want his support. Be firm.

Good luck to you and your baby! Take care!

 
Old 10-18-2004, 01:54 PM   #6
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fallen#angel HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

just to let every1 know that my bf is already a father, he is older than me thanx for every1's advice you all are really helping.

 
Old 10-19-2004, 07:20 AM   #7
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JinL HB UserJinL HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

It is your baby. If he doe not want to be a part of its life that is his choice, but he should pay child support.

Good luck on your lifes decision. No matter which you chose it will be with you all your life.

 
Old 10-19-2004, 09:03 AM   #8
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KimRick HB User
Re: i'm pregnant but my boyfriend does't want it!

I was in the same position as you when I was 17. I became pregnant after being with my ex for almost 2 1/2 years. He was excited about it at first, but then tried to "make" me have an abortion and when I wouldn't budge on that, his family got involved and started POUNDING adoption down my throat. AND he was threatening to leave me if I didn't go through with it. The sad part is, is that I went 1/2 way through with it. I actually met the parents that were supposed to take her and that was when I woke up and realized that I couldn't go through with it. I loved her too much and way more than him to bail his a$$ out. Eight years later, he's been gone (the last time he saw her was when she was 1 1/2) and he's running from child support enforcement (he currently owes me MORE than $50,000.00). Evertime I look at her, I thank G-D that I woke up and did the right thing by me. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have her. You do what's right by you, not him. He should've thought about that when he decided to conceive. Don't let him influence you and your emotions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JinL
It is your baby. If he doe not want to be a part of its life that is his choice, but he should pay child support.

Good luck on your lifes decision. No matter which you chose it will be with you all your life.

 
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