I am sorry to hear of your frustration. You should check the menopause section of the healthboard. Ladies with perimenopause and menopause talk on it. They have recommended a book by Dr. John Lee, called "What your doctor may not tell you about premenopause". In it you will find out what you can do to treat perimenopause symptoms. Anxiety is one of them. After reading about what can happen to you once menopause hits, you may want to keep your periods. Read the book and become informed about what your body is going through and how you can help yourself. Remember you are not alone, so check out the menopause section of health boards.
I'm so sorry to hear the way you are feeling! You know though, birth control pills CAN cause depression---especially if you are predisposed to it. I'd get off of them if I were you. Sometimes it's a matter of finding the right one for you because I know when I first went on them years ago, I noticed that my moods changed so drastically! My doctor switched me to another one and then another until we found one that was o.k. But in your case, I'd get off of them altogether and see how you are once you are no longer on hormones. Even the insert of BC pills says they should not be taken by women with a history of depression.
May I suggest something else? There is a new sterilization method which was approved this past April called Essure. It is non-surgical but is permanent. Women who want to have children or think they may want them some day are not candidates for this. It won't stop your periods but I guess what I'm thinking is that your depression could be from the hormones in your pills---if you've been on them since you were 18, you may not know the difference anymore. I'd talk to you doctor about it--maybe you could do that--go off of the pills, get the Essure procedure done and see how you do. If after awhile, you aren't feeling any better, perhaps having more surgery would still be an option.
If you'd like more information on the Essure procedure, just type the name in a search engine. I'd like to have it done but they none of the doctors in my area have been trained on it yet.
I feel your pain! I've been on them since I was 17 and now I'm 41. Same exact feelings and fall out you are experiencing. So furstrated I just stopped take the darn pills and set a date for the Essure procedure in Oct. I'll let you know what happens.