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Old 08-24-2005, 01:21 PM   #1
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Unhappy pregancy after abortion

Hello everyone... Now, my situation is a confusing one. I had become pregnant in July. At first, I wasn't going to keep the baby. I wanted to keep it, but my boyfriend kept saying he wasn't ready and my mom is very religious so that was a whole other issue. Eventually we decided to keep it and move in together. I was happy because that was what I wanted. Now, we decided not to let our families know until we had moved in together and when they could see that we were stable. That would've been this coming Sept. Anyway, I trusted one of my good friends and confided in her about my situation. Not only did she go and tell my mother, but she exagerated everything and made me look like I planned this, and like I didn't care about what my family would think. My mom completely broke down. She would call me really bad names and make me feel horrible. Eventually, my sisters and I (they understood my situation and were behinds me completely), decided for me to get an abortion and then tell my mom that I never was pregnant. We told her that I had thought I was, but I wasn't. I was devastated, and so was my boyfriend. I was 3 months already and everything was going good. So I went and got it, and I really haven't been able to sleep or anything since. Now, my question. I got the abprtion on Aug. 13th.. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on Aug. 20 and 21st. is there any way that I could've gotten pregnant? And if I could be, is this dangerous to me or the baby? Please let me know, because we both decided that if this were to happen, whatever the situation, we would keep it. Please respond. I can use your help. Thanks..

Last edited by moderator2; 08-24-2005 at 01:40 PM. Reason: Abortion discussions belong on the Women’s Health Board, ONLY, in regard to medical problems.

 
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Old 08-24-2005, 01:37 PM   #2
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Re: pregancy after abortion

Now, my question. I got the abprtion on Aug. 13th.. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on Aug. 20 and 21st. is there any way that I could've gotten pregnant? And if I could be, is this dangerous to me or the baby? Please let me know, because we both decided that if this were to happen, whatever the situation, we would keep it. Please respond. I can use your help. Thanks..[/QUOTE]


Forgive me for saying so, but it sounds like your mom as issues if she is calling you names and treating you poorly because you are pregnant. Also, it doesn't sound like you really wanted to have the abortion in the first place. Am I right? I know what it is like to want to please your family and keep the peace. Lying about being pregnant is not good in case the truth ever comes out it will be worse in the long run. It also sounds like if a "friend" goes and tells your family something like that, they really are not a good friend. It was not her place to get involved like that.

It seems like you really want to have a baby with him since you didn't use protection even after the abortion. If you really are not ready, make sure to use something every time. If you are ready, then don't let the family get to you or talk you into something you don't really want to do.

When was your last period? 3 months ago? I know when you get pregnant right away after delivering a baby it is pretty rough on your body which is why they suggest not having babies less than a year apart. As for an abortion, I am not sure bout that. Iwould think you would want time for your body to bounce back from it just the same. It is probably unlikely that you are pregnant but anything is possible.

I know this has to be a tough situation for you and your boyfriend. Religious or not, your mom has no right to pass judgement on you. Ultimately it is your life and yo have to do what is best for you. It sounds like you do have good support from your sisters which is good.

I am soo sorry that you have to go through this.

 
Old 08-24-2005, 02:53 PM   #3
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Re: pregancy after abortion

I understand how you feel becauase I have been there. It is not a nice place to be, infact it is very lonely and sad place. You did what you had to or you thought you had to do at the time. It will tak a while for this to heal. Much longer than any bruise or scar you have ever had . My only advice is to take care of yourself and find someone you can talk to. Someone you can be open about with this issue. I highy doubt that you could be pregnant. It takes a while for the uterus to heal, I mean it is like taking wall paper off a wall, you have stripped your insides. It would be very unlikely for an egg to stick, and it wouldn't be healthy to get pregnant so fast again. I would really invest in some concraceptives. I think they would be very usefull to you. Also many women who have had abortions go one to have to have children afterwards. Very few end up with fertility prooblems unless they have an infection from it. Be strong anf hold your head up high. I know it hurts that your family had frown upon you. my dad disowned me whr nhe found out. Im sure that won't be the case for you, but just give your mother some time she has to deal with this as well. I know it is not right for her to make you feel the way she does, but I would give her some time. Take care.

 
Old 08-24-2005, 05:35 PM   #4
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Re: pregancy after abortion

Take care of yourself for sure. I can't stress that enough! However the best advice I eevr recieved was," it is ok to cry." I know that must sound odd but I needed it. I felt so guilty and so horrible that I felt I didn't derseve to cry. You lost your baby too, maybe in a different way but you lost it too and it is ok to cry. You will go through a period of time were got will morn the loss of your baby just liek you would if anyone else parished. So I guess what Im saying is don't hold it inside cry! Cry, cry,cry. Cry the loudest, and the longest, but help get it out. I am pulling for you. I Really am.

 
Old 08-24-2005, 06:45 PM   #5
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Re: pregancy after abortion

As long as there were no complications with the abortion I think it will be ok. Your mom sounds like mine as she called me some nasty names when I told her I was pregnant a couple years ago. You need to be strong and not let people talk you into handling this kind of situation. Especially over something as important and life changing as pregnancy. You sound a bit confused especially since you became pregnant again so soon. Take care and try not to let the stress of the situation and your family get to you. It isn't good for you or the baby. I also suggest you see a doctor soon to make sure you are all healed and ok. Good luck best of health to you and your little one!

 
Old 08-26-2005, 07:01 AM   #6
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Re: pregancy after abortion

I don't think it would be healthy for you to get pregnant right away, your body needs time to heal. Its a major thing to have an abortion, as I well know. If you really want to have a baby, I'd wait for a year.

 
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