I was exactly the same as you, when the nurse rang me and told me that my smear test had come back abnormal and i neeeded further treatment, i cried thinking i had cancer or was going to get it.
But my gyn reassured me and said about it taking years to turn cancerous, so i eased off. I have to go for another test in a couple of months but im not worried after what i was told by my gyn.
Every smear test results that comes back borderline, is far better than coming back abnormal, dont you think ?
Of course ideally you want it to come back nornal and not borderline, but at the mo they are coming back borderline which is far better
Even if you may need treatment in the future, try not to worry as they are keeping a close eye on you and i'm sure they will start treatment ASAP if they think you need it.
The smear tests are daunting and very uncomfortable but you know you are doing the right thing going back every 6 months
Take care and try not to let it get you down too much