I wasn't sure if this belonged in this forum, or Women's Sexual Health, or Infertility...I apologize to the moderators if this ended up in the wrong place.
Anyway, I think my question was said clearly enough in the title. The truth is that I can't afford to be sterilized right now, and I'm of young age, so even if I could afford an IUD or a tubal ligation, I couldn't get it for a while anyway. Please don't tell me I'm too young to know what I want or I'm too stupid to make this decision - I've been thinking about it for the past couple of years and it's definitely what I want. I want to be able to have sex and not be constantly paranoid about the risk of pregnancy. My partner and I use condoms, but I can never stand to have sex for longer than a minute because I get too scared the condom is going to come off (which it did the first time). I'm a full-time college student and have little money, so birth control and IUDs aren't options currently.
Is there anything I can eat, or any medications or herbs I can take that will make me infertile? I want to be safe, and believe me I'm not making this choice to please my partner...I just want to stop being so scared. I would greatly appreciate any advice on this at all - I'm truly at the end of my rope.
Last edited by Dark Stranger; 06-24-2006 at 12:57 PM.
hi dark stranger,
firstly im not going to question your decision to want to be sterile, that is totally your choice and i respect that.
to my knowledge there is nothing that can be taken to cause sterility, and its something i would strongly advise against, as this kind of thing could make you very ill. the main thing is to look after your health first and foremost and not do anything to risk it.
the only safe way to protect yourself against pregnancy is birth control. i can understand what you're saying about being a student and not being able to afford it, but this is obviously something that is causing you concern so surely its worth it to have your mind put at rest. here in the UK birth control is free, im not sure about the situation in the states, but couldnt your partner help you out? as it his his responsibility aswell.you're obviously buying condoms so couldnt the money be put towards other forms of birth control? there are forms of birth control which are 99.9% effective such as the injection or implant,which work by totally shutting your reproductive cycle down, and as they cover you for 3 months at a time you wouldnt have to worry about forgetting to take it, like some people do with the birth control pill.
my best advice would be to discuss this with your doctor. then you will be able to relax and enjoy your sex life without constant worry.but please dont consider taking anything unapproved as it could really damage your health
Last edited by fallen_angel; 06-24-2006 at 01:29 PM.
Sorry but even if you could afford to be sterilized its very doubtfull that any doctor would do that at your age. YES you are way to young and I really do think you'd live to regret this decision. Most states have Low cost family planning. You pay on a sliding scale fee. Your boy firned could help you pay for the 1st appointment and your B.C. pills. Its very very inexpensive. Try to find one located in your area.
I am not aware of a natural remedy that will make you sterile. Planned Parenthood and university student health clinics are great options for inexpensive family planning -- it's less than $10/mo for some bc. Also, my university allowed 4 or 5 free visits a semester, and it included pap smears, which are required for getting on bc.
There are options available, if you seek them out.
I don't expect any doctor to sterilize me at my age, but I'm still going to try for it a few years down the road (if I can afford it). Anyway, I did a little bit of research earlier today and I'm really looking into herbal sterilization. If I can find the herbs I need and they're affordable, I think I'm going to give it a try. Stoneseed, jack-in-the-pulpit, and thistle have come up in every search I've done pertaining to herbal sterilization, and so far what I've gathered is drinking cold tea made from stoneseed root every day for six months can cause permenant sterilization. Sounds like my kind of herb
I'm sure there are risks and side affects associated with this, as with any herbal remedy, but it's one I'm willing to take if it's successful and it means I won't need to spend $5000 on the surgery in ten years' time. Choosing sterilization was not a spontaneous decision, and if I ever did, for some reason, regret being sterilized, I would have no problem adopting. Pregnancy not only disgusts me, but it also scares me. My skin just starts crawling when I think of something growing inside me, and I just don't think I could handle being pregnant.
As far as family planning...I don't think there's a clinic within a 100-mile radius of where I live. There used to be one that was right downtown, but for some reason they decided to move. My boyfriend doesn't usually have any money - the only reason he was able to get a few condoms was because he had some money to spend after coming out of basic training...and he's having a hard time finding a job in our little hometown.
Besides, I've been on birth control before and I didn't like it. I feel strange putting hormones in my body, not to mention they made me sick and made me gain weight. He doesn't even have a license to take me to an out-of-town clinic, and I would be too embarrassed to ask one of our licensed friends to take us. Aside from that, my boyfriend and I do not see one another while I'm in school - sadly, we can only see each other when I'm home on vacation.
Just for the record, GoldenMom...are you sure you need a pap smear to go on birth control? When I got it at the previously local clinic, they didn't even bring up the subject of an examination - they just told me what it did and sent me on my way with a 3-month supply and 30 condoms.
Thank you all for your advice. I may not utilize some of it, but thank you for adding your two cents nonetheless. I know I'm stubborn about this whole thing, but I really think herbal sterilization will be worth a try...once I figure out exactly how it sterilizes.
just wanted to say think very carefully about these herbs. just because its herbal/natural doesnt mean it wont have side effects. i took st johns wort once for depression as was fed up with the side effects i was getting from anti depressants, but the side effects were actually worse and i became very ill. and its obviously very powerful if it can cause permanent sterilisation.
as i said in my last reply to you, i wont question your decision because thats your right, but i will just say (and im sorry if this causes offence) that it sounds like you do have some issues with this whole thing. i mean loads of people fear becoming pregnant and try to avoid it, but it seems like more than that with you. perhaps consider dealing with this first before doing anything rash? to take away your fertility is a huge thing
I'm not just looking for a way to enjoy my sex life - I have already made the decision to not have children (I have numerous reasons and I realize I would not make a good parent), so it's not as if I'm going to be whining in two years that I suddenly want kids. Believe me, I have the future in mind already. I do not want to consult a physician about this because I know they'll do their best to talk me out of it (because I know they'll consider me to be too young or stupid to know my own body), or make my mother aware of my intentions - if I go about trying to sterilize myself with herbs, I won't be telling anyone about it because I know no one is going to want me doing it. It would be the same if I were seeking sterilization via surgery.
I know it may sound like I have issues, but the fact is that I want to take my life and my future into my own hands, and do what I can to make it turn out in my favor. Is that not something most people try to do [in general]?
sorry if i sounded patronizing i do understand that you've thought this through, and everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their future.
i probably feel the way i do because im trying to get pregnant right now and am having trouble conceiving, so i see fertility as being a very precious thing.
with the herbs just be really careful they dont make you sick or anything. if it was me i would try birth control first just to be safe until i could be sterilised,but i can see that you have considered everything and have made your mind up, so just be careful and good luck
Yes, a pap smear is required for a year Rx of birth control. I tried at two different doctors offices to get bc without the pap and was told that it was not possible. You can get a short term supply but *technically* are supposed to get a pap in order to continue the supply.
It is your decision to sterilize yourself. For me personally, I am VERY different from the woman that I was just 5 years ago. If you asked me then, I would have told you that I would never marry (out of choice) and that I would absolutely never have children. I am a fiercely independent woman and hate the idea of a man telling me what to do -- which I equated with marriage and children. A lot has changed since them, and I am very glad that I did not make a life altering decision like sterilization.
Fallen_Angel: I can understand why it may be difficult for you to understand things from my perspective, considering what you're currently pursuing. Don't worry - I wasn't offended or anything. I understand we both feel differently about this; others may wonder why I'd want to be sterile, and I wonder why others want kids. Oh well.
Thank you both for your support. I know my idea sounds a bit out there, but I know it's definitely something I want. I'm having some trouble finding supplements for the herbs I'm looking for, which is a little irritating...but I'll keep looking. I'm sure stoneseed root and thistles have purposes besides sterilization.
You'd think that since you are so dead set against having children, risking pregancy by relying on herbal sterilization seems ... well... risky.
You're talking about "herbal" sterilization. No proof, no certification, no guarantee. Are you sure this is the ideal birth control method for someone so sure she doesn't want to get pregnant? Sounds to me like you'd be taking an even bigger risk than if you used normal birth control methods.
I won't be relying entirely on the herbs for protection - even afterwards, I would probably also be utilizing condoms, just because I feel so unsafe having unprotected sex. Besides, I can't afford birth control. I know a couple of the herbs I mentioned have some unpleasant side effects (like jack-in-the-pulpit), but stoneseed will only cause problems in people with an allergy to it. If that was the case with me, I'd go with another herb. Taken correctly, none of these herbs are dangerous. Even if it's not guaranteed to work, I think it's still worth a try. I know no doctor will sterilize me now, and heaven knows herbal sterilization is much cheaper than medical sterilization.