Your Opinion.... - Women's Health Message Board

Bill44 · 01-18-2007, 09:11 AM

I have a question mostly for the ladies, but if any men wish to comment I welcome it too. Whenever my wife has gone to a doctor (orthopedic surgeon, ENT, etc.) she asks me to accompany her for "moral support" and just to "be there" for her. Recently her primary care physcian (a female) has referred her to a gynecologist (male & female both in paractice) for a colposcopy after an abnormal pap smear. As has been our usual practice, I expressed my intention of accompanying her. This time she expressed that she didn't want me there. We have been married for a long time, and neither of us have a problem being nude with or in front of the other. However she says that it would be embarassing if I am in the room while she is having this procedure done. I am full informed as to what is involved with a pelvic exam, pap smear and colposcopy. Can anyone explain why my wife would not have a problem being nude in the presence of strangers, but if I was there she would be embarassed. The practice involved does allow husbands to accompany patients during any visit. I would not hesitate to allow her to be present during ANY visit I might have to ANY doctor or any place I might go.

rosequartz · 01-18-2007, 09:40 AM

Bill - I've never had anyone in the gynocologists office with me for moral support. I have brought my mom with me to the ENT, eye doctor, etc. Even still, she usually waits in the waiting room, except when I was getting surgery for my thyroid, she did come into the ENT with me to find out all the details first, etc. I don't blame your wife for not wanting you in the gynocologists office. Maybe you can go with her and wait in the waiting room. Think of how you might feel if you were going in for a prostate exam......would you want your wife there watching ?

Bill44 · 01-18-2007, 11:00 AM

I would have no problem with it if she was in the room during a prostate exam, or anything else I might have. In fact several years ago when I had a vasectomy I asked her if she wanted to come into the room as it was being done.

As for being "allowed" to sit in the waiting room....no. If that is where she wants me, I'll either be in the car or at home.

rosequartz · 01-18-2007, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill44

I would have no problem with it if she was in the room during a prostate exam, or anything else I might have. In fact several years ago when I had a vasectomy I asked her if she wanted to come into the room as it was being done.

As for being "allowed" to sit in the waiting room....no. If that is where she wants me, I'll either be in the car or at home.

Bill I think you're taking this a little too personally...by your comment about being "allowed".......I think sitting in the car is ridiculous....it's like you're trying to make a point by not coming into the office with her. Isn't she allowed any privacy? Maybe she would like to maintain her dignity and not have you see her spread eagle with a colposcope up her privates?
Does it bother you if she goes to the bathroom in private? Do you feel slighted if she shuts the door while on the toilet?
Every human being is entitled to privacy and dignity.

Seriphina · 01-18-2007, 11:14 AM

Bill,

I think you are reading too much into this. Just because you wouldn't have a problem with your wife being there for a prostate exam doesn't mean that she feels the same way. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, it doesn't mean she's uncomfortable about being nude in front of you. She may not even know the exact reason. The point is, you need to understand that she's probably scared because she's never had an abnormal pap before, and you need to support her in whatever she wants to do. Not to be rude, but you need to realize that this isn't about you. It's about her.