But anyway.. I want to be put back on birth control, and i need to talk to a Gynocologist about some other things. The last time i was on Birth Control, I went to Family Planning and had to have an 'exam' there. It was terrible. I had the worst experience, and came out feeling extremely violated. I never want to do that again.
However, my mother insists that I go in and have another exam from her gyno. I don't want to. I just want back on birth control. We've had terrible arguments about it. I feel that it is my own personal choice wether or not I want to take my clothes off for someone that I dont even know. And especially after the last experience, I am very hesitant. How do I tactfully tell the doctor that I do not want an Exam, and under no circumstances will participate in one, but just to be on birth control?
Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-15-2007 at 09:37 PM.
Reason: This thread has been moved to the Women's Health board, which is at at the bottom of the alphabetical board index page.
That will be a hard thing to do simply because why the exams are so important. The exams are for your health and to help your dr detect certain cancers and other problems early on when they are still in treatable stages.
You can try talking to the dr and explain what happened last time. Not all drs will be bad when it comes to these exams. S/he might be able to help you figure out a way for you to be comfortable with exams. You are going to have to get use to getting them. I dont mean to sound cold but it is a part of being a woman.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
Chances on, they will want to do another exam to make sure you're not already pregnant, etc. You need to find a doctor you feel comfortable with. My gyno actually delivered me and has known my family for more than 20 years. He's quick, gentle and very nice through the whole thing. The first time I had the exam, I seriously didn't feel a thing. I think you should just go in and get the exam. It could save your life and it's really only a few minutes long. Bring a siblings with you. My sister came to my first one and she was talking to me and the dr the whole time. Kept my mind busy. Good luck and stay healthy!
I can't think of a single woman I know who actually enjoys getting a pelvic exam. But you have to suck it up and get it done, for the sake of your health. You might as well get used to it, because it's a necessary part of being a woman.
Look, I remember my first time at the gyno's office, too. I hated it and I was crying and it was really a terrible experience. But since then, I've had many gyno visits. They're still unpleasant, but I don't freak out like I did that first time. I just keep telling myself it's for the good of my health, and that's why I go. That's why all women go.
And as for getting your pills without an exam, I doubt it. Not only is a health issue for you, but it's also a liability issue for the doctor who gives you the pills. If they prescribe a BCP for you but you have some pre-existing condition that precludes you from being able to take it, then they would be open to liability.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-17-2007 at 10:04 AM.
Reason: Vulgar language is not allowed on this board. Neither is trying to disguise it.
I just had my 2nd pap and today's exam was a very bad experience. I felt like he was rushed. He wasn't gentle at all and he didn't even give me a chance to ask him very important questions I've been waiting 2 weeks to ask. I left feeling violated. Next time I go, I will DEFINATELY say something. I think doctor's are so used to it that sometimes they forget how their patients feel.
You should always seek a FEMALE gynecologist, especially for your first time or until you get used to it! Male gynes are just....well....useless for the most part. A man can study all the books he wants and even graduate at the top of his gynecology classes but he will still never know what a cramp feels like or what it feels like to give birth or an ovulation pain or anything that we women feel and go through. That's why they're useless.
And also, male doctors in general, but most especially gynecologists, lack the compassion and patience that is required for a woman to feel comfortable during what is the most uncomfortable exam that we ever have to endure. A really good doctor will explain everything as she is doing it and tell you what to expect, so you don't feel like you're being manhandled or whatever. But a crappy doctor will definitely make an unpleasant experience far worse.
So for both of you who hated your gyne appointments, do yourselves a favor and find a female gynecologist. Ask around to your female friends, cousins, relatives, whatever, and find out who they go to and what they think of their doctor. I usually end up at the same gyne as my Mom because she seems to know how to pick the kind and patient female docs who are the only kind that I will see.
But it's your healthcare and you have a right to have someone examine you whom you feel comfortable with. Don't settle for some loser guy doc who rushes you through the exam and makes yoou feel like a pile of crap, because that's just not right.
Not to be mean but about your screenname "living proof"... if you never go to another gyn for a pap you might possibly be 'living proof' of someone who should have gone. so many things can be avoided when we take preventative measures. i'd say trust your mom's gyn. a lot of times those family planning places aren't the most welcoming places, and they probably aren't concerned with new patient's worries, they just get them in and get them out. discuss your concerns with your mom's (obviously already trusted) gyn. references are great tools. i went to my sis's gyn because i trust my sister's judgement. i wouldn't just pick a gyn out of the yellowpages! trust your mom, trust her gyn and trust medical proof that these appointments are necessary for your health and your future.
The flip side to female gynos just to let you know I refuse to use them. I have nothing but problems with female ones. I have had two in they years I have been seeing gynos and I refuse to see another. If I call to make an appointment I askif the dr is male or female for my apointment.
I had horrible experiences with the female ones. Not sure why but it just happened that way. To date I have one problem with one male gyno and I have seen a lot while dealing with infertility issues.
It can go either way when it comes to male verses female gynos. It all comes down the dr as a person not wether they are male or female.
Granted one would assume females would be better because they are in the same boat but isnt always true.
Your best bet is to go around and find someone you are comfortable with.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
I know this is going to sound bad, but to just get my bc pills and get out without an exam, I'd just tell the doctor that I was menstruating and since it is not a good idea to get a pap while menstruating, they'd just talk to me and take my history and give me pill samples and a prescription. Only once did I encounter some opposition to this scheme and even then it wasn't bad. The gyn just said he had to make sure I wasn't preggers so he told me to remove my tampon and put on a gown ( I really was menstruating that day). He came back in and just felt my ovaries and stuff by pressing on my lower tummy with one of his gloves fingers inside of me.
I know that is not the right way to do it, but I needed the pills and after my first horrible gyn experience, I didn't want to go through the exam again. It hurt like hell and the gyn ripped me. I had a female gyn for that first awful time though so it is not always the males who are rough or insensitive.
My insurance is going to kick back in soon and i plan to conquer my fear and really get a real exam this time. I am going back to one of the nice male doctors that I used before just to get my pills.
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone at all in the way you feel.
To be honest, I think it would be really hard to find any woman who likes going to the gynecologist. Seriously. Take a poll and ask around and I'll be surprised if you find even one woman out of a hundred who would like it. The fact is, no one likes going, everyone hates it. But they do it because it's a necessary thing for the purposes of health.
Many types of female cancers are not easy to detect without the exam, such as cervical, ovarian and uterine cancers. Also, they perform a breast exam during the annual exam to check for breast cancer. These are all really important for us all to stay healthy and to catch problems well in advance so that proper steps can be taken in order to resolve them as quickly as possible.
I echo the sentiments of going to a female doctor, but mostly because I really don't feel comfortable with that level of nakedness in front of a strange man. I don't care if he's a doctor, that's pretty personal stuff for a man to see. That's just my feelings about it.
blah... my appointment is on friday. Thanks for everyone's replies, even the rather harsh ones. I'll probably just suck it up and go. I will also probably end up in tears because I really don't want to do it. I swear, if I have a bad experience this time I'm so going to sue someone.
I realize it's for my health. I'm not dumb. But I just really have a hard time with it. Oh well... I do like the menstrating excuse though....
If it's any consolation, one of the very first places I ever had a pelvic exam/PAP was at a Planned Parenthood type of place. It was awful. The place was dirty, the staff was uncaring, and the woman who performed the exam was very rough. I, too, felt very violated and just nasty.
After telling my mother about that horrible experience and how I never wanted another exam, she insisted I go to her gyno, a male, BTW. Talk about night and day!!! He was so gentle, informative -- and took care of my problems. He not only became my doctor for female problems, but I could see him for a host of other things, too (colds, flu, common stomach problems, etc.). He was my doctor for over 10 years, until it came time for me to move away. To this day, if there were anyone I could have "packed" and brought with me to my new city, it would have been him.
Please try not to stress about this. You had a bad experience with one doctor. You now know what to avoid, what questions to ask to ensure you, the patient, are seeing someone well-qualified and can meet your individual needs.
But don't lie to your doctor about a "menstrual excuse." If you're sexually active -- which I assume is why you want BC -- you need to be regularly checked. And BC has some nasty side effects. Only a negligent doctor would give you hormonal BC and not examine you periodically to make sure you weren't having adverse effects from it.
find a woman doctor to see. Women doctors know what it is like and I find them much easier to talk to and ask questions too.
As another poster said, we all hate it, but its a thing we have to go through....if you want birth control you must get the exam. I know of no doctor that will prescribe birth control with out the exam. If you are grown up enough to have sex you are adult enough to deal with what goes along with it.