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Katt0324 04-23-2007 03:30 PM

daughter has no started puberty?
 
My oldest daughter is 13 and does not seem to have started puberty. She is about 4 foot 9 and 90 pounds. She has no pubic hair or breasts. although her nipples do seem a bit puffy, but i don't know if that means anything. As you can imagine, this has been VERY hard on her because all of the other girls are taller and have breasts and she certainly gets her fine share of teasing. She sometimes bursts into tears over it. I try to console her, telling her that she is just a late bloomer and her time will come soon. But her 14th birthday is coming up this summer and i am wondering if i should consult a specialist or something? Are any of you the parent of a late bloomer? How did you handle it? Thanks!

claflamme 04-23-2007 04:18 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
I would not worry, I didn't develop or start puberty until I was about 16-17.
They said it was normal. I wouldn't worry.

Titchou 04-23-2007 04:42 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
I started my periods at age 10 - my younger sister was 15 when she started.
I wore a bra earlier than she also. By the time I was a senior and her a sophomore in high school - she was taller, had bigger breasts, everything!
Who can tell about these things?

Bracelet 04-23-2007 05:52 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
She's actually lucky. The other girls might tease her, but it's the girls who start puberty at age 10 or whatever who end up with a lot more health problems when they get older. I think I read several times that certain types of cancer are more prevalent among women who started their period before the age of 12 or something. I can't remember what it said. But I'm sure you'd find it if you did some research.

So tell her that the longer it takes, the better off she will be later.

luvgirl 04-23-2007 06:28 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Tell your daughter it's ok. I personally didn't get my period till I was 14 and a half and I'm perfectly healthy. I may not have the biggest boobs but that's cause I'm too bloody skinny:p, anyway I'm tall for a late bloomer at 5'6.5" so tell her not to worry as she'll get her chance to sprout. My brother is your daughter's age and he just started puberty. He was the shortest, and plumpest:jester: :jester: of all his friends for the past few years. He too came home upset at how he was the "fat" and short one of his group of friends since he got teased a lot. Now a summer later he's shed the pounds and is already a wow'ing 5'5" at age 14 :eek: :eek:

EDIT: forgot to add that I'm just 100lbs now and have always been so don't freak out about her weight if she doesn't gain weight like some girls do during puberty

Katt0324 04-23-2007 08:19 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Thanks for the replies. Your stories are comforting. I guess right now the best thing to do is to wait it out. I just feel so bad for her sometimes. I mean while her friends are talking about getting their first periods and everything, she is still waiting for her first pubic hair.

Bracelet: You bring up a good point about being on the late side being better than early. I was an early bloomer (got my period at 9!) and i know how difficult it can be especially because of all the unwanted attention. I sorta expected my daughter to be the same, but i am glad she isn't. Titchou is right - it is hard to tell about these things.

Megn80 04-24-2007 10:53 AM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
I didn't get my period until i was about 16. I didn't reach my height now (5'10) until I was a senior in high school. I was always a skinny stick and then finally one summer just sprouted out to be a woman. She shouldn't worry about it. It's just that much longer she doesn't have to deal with a period! Hehe.

hergy 04-24-2007 10:56 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Katt,

I'm sorry about the frustration and teasing your daughter is experiencing. Kids can be cruel.

That breast puffiness does mean something. It can be an early sign of puberty. Girls [I]and[/I] boys start at so many different ages.

I'd say the early bloomers get quite a tough time. Boys start making assumptions about girls who develop early. Not fair. Those girls are often self-conscious. Plus, they may tease, but at the same time, they may be envious.

Your daughter will adjust. She's not the only one in her predicament. She's also not as old as many who develop later. She'll be fine. The puffiness seems to indicate that she's on her way. I got that puffiness at about 11, hips a bit later, my period at 12. Then came the hourglass figure. I was 5'3" in the 6th grade. But I slowed down after that. I occasionally got teased even in high school because my breasts decided to remain an A. No big deal. My body even experienced some changes when I was in my mid-20s. I'm 35 and quite average, still an A, but that's cool with me.

If it puts your mind and hers at ease, a visit to a doctor can help. Spurts are unpredictable. My younger sister was a 'late bloomer.' She's now taller and more endowed than me.

Encourage your daughter to be patient. Who she is has nothing to do with her development.

Best wishes,

Nikki

PiercedPunkette 04-26-2007 05:02 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
She probably hasn't started puberty because she's so small and only weighs 90 lbs. She probably won't start for a while. She's lucky! It's normal!

Katt0324 04-26-2007 09:04 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Pierced Punkette: yeah, i am sure her weight may have something to do with it.

Nikki: i think you are right that it might be worth a trip to the doctors if only to ease some of her anxiety a little bit... and mine too! :) that's good news about the breast puffiness... in the meantime i have been trying to remain as encouraging as possible. But i've been saying "don't worry, it'll happen soon" for about a year now.

hergy 04-26-2007 10:24 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
[QUOTE=Katt0324;2948219]Nikki: i think you are right that it might be worth a trip to the doctors if only to ease some of her anxiety a little bit... and mine too! :) that's good news about the breast puffiness... in the meantime i have been trying to remain as encouraging as possible. But i've been saying "don't worry, it'll happen soon" for about a year now.[/QUOTE]

Katt,

Reassuring her is the most loving thing you can do. How [I]soon[/I] is up to her brain, so maybe just assure her that it [I]will[/I] happen. I remember that the more petite girls in my class seemed to be the last to develop. But they [I]did[/I].

No matter what the situation, kids always find a reason to tease. If it's not late development, it's early development. If it's not that, it's who's a virgin or who's got acne. If it's none of those, it's something else.

And remember, there are petite [I]women[/I]. She may turn out to develop into a petite woman. But she'll be a [I]woman[/I], regardless of her size.

I had a growth spurt when I was 10. I was more than 5' tall and no longer shopped in the pre-teen department. My shoulders had broadened, my hips were widening and everything was on its way to womanhood. So I wasn't petite when puberty was is full bloom. That may be why I was a bit early.

Your daughter may have to wait, but, like I said, the puffiness always comes before the breasts start developing. Encourage her to be patient. Womanhood will catch her soon enough.

Best wishes,

Nikki

colleen617 04-27-2007 10:26 AM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
[QUOTE=red_five;2948302]Katt,

Reassuring her is the most loving thing you can do. How [I]soon[/I] is up to her brain, so maybe just assure her that it [I]will[/I] happen. I remember that the more petite girls in my class seemed to be the last to develop. But they [I]did[/I].

No matter what the situation, kids always find a reason to tease. If it's not late development, it's early development. If it's not that, it's who's a virgin or who's got acne. If it's none of those, it's something else.

And remember, there are petite [I]women[/I]. She may turn out to develop into a petite woman. But she'll be a [I]woman[/I], regardless of her size.

I had a growth spurt when I was 10. I was more than 5' tall and no longer shopped in the pre-teen department. My shoulders had broadened, my hips were widening and everything was on its way to womanhood. So I wasn't petite when puberty was is full bloom. That may be why I was a bit early.

Your daughter may have to wait, but, like I said, the puffiness always comes before the breasts start developing. Encourage her to be patient. Womanhood will catch her soon enough.

Best wishes,

Nikki[/QUOTE]

I agree with Nikki that reassuring your daughter is the best thing that you can do. When I was young, my mother was constantly asking me if I had gotten my period b/c my other sisters were 12 & 13. She made me feel like something was wrong with me and caused quite a bit of anxiety. Finally, when I was 14, it finally arrived. My niece was 17.

I also agree that checking things out with a doctor couldn't hurt.

Take care and good luck. Colleen

Katt0324 04-27-2007 01:31 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Thanks, Nikki. Yea i realize now that preaching "soon" was probably not the best way to go about reassuring her. Sometimes you will say almost anything when you know your daughter is hurting you know? But I will definitely make sure she knows that what she is going through is normal.

And Colleen, thanks for thoughts and the affirmation!

Katt0324 05-09-2007 09:51 PM

Re: daughter has no started puberty?
 
Just a quick update: I took my daughter in to see a doc recently and she assured us that she is okay. Just a late bloomer that's all. She also confirmed that the puffy nipples was a definite sign of breasts budding. My daughter feels a lot better about things. Thanks!


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