Thinking of conceiving but SCARED
My husband and I have been married almost 10 years. I am 29 and he is 32. The "baby bug" hit me very hard this year. Up to this point I had absolutely NO interest whatsoever in having a child. Now....it's all I can think about!!!
The problem is I am scared out of my skull. I don't have a support system for these kinds of thoughts other than the women I work with.
And that is why I'm so scared! Because of the multiple pregnancies/deliveries we've had in our office the last few years EVERY SINGLE ONE has been a terrible experience for each woman. One had a Downs/liver failure/toxoplasmosis pregnancy which had to be terminated at 6 months. One was told not to have children, got pregnant, delivered a boy 7ish months early who has CP, another woman has a daughter with CP, one delivered 10 weeks early, and the latest was a good friend of mine whose placenta separated and had an emx c section almost loosing her daughter. I can go on and on and on....
I am genuinely TERRIFIED that this will happen to me. My husband, who has been a pro-child person from the start is so excited, I've never seen him more excited in our entire relationship, at the thought of being a father. He keeps scolding me that I am being irrational and everything will be FINE. Stop thinking about it he says! HAHA! But I can't help being so scared because all I am surrounded by are women who have had or are having the worst experiences of their lives!!!!
I know that delivery is not all roses and fairies but I have this idea of an exciting, intense time with a classic vaginal delivery with a resulting healthy child. And it seems like more and more all I am experiencing are terrifying stories and nightmare experiences.
Is there somewhere I can go or something I can read that will help me with these fears? Is there anyone out there that has and a NORMAL pregnancy or delivery? Because I'm certainly not in an area that seems to be able to do that....