Ok, so I just signed up for this site tonight, I don't know WHAT in the world to do! I have been going through soo much lately, I guess I need to vent and see if i can get any feedback. Here is a bit of what im going through. Ok July 14th is my wedding... so my fiance's mom and my mother are both hassling me, rushing me, and nagging about picking out a wedding dress..I admire them for this, yes, because they are trying to help.. but there are things they just don't know at this point that is a big deal right now! Ok, so in the past 6 months i have had 2 miscariages, this is my THIRD pregnancy in 6 months! I feel like I am going absolutley crazy!!!!! None of these were PLANNED pregnancies, but we were very thrilled and excited when we found out and 100% wanting to go through with it! I mean 8 months ago I called the health department because I was going to be put on birth control.. Well they said call back tomorrow our scheds. for next month aren't in yet.. So i call the next day to hear the same thing... same for the next day.. do this for a week and a half... getting pretttty ticked off.. finally got an appt., but it's not that whole month but in the middle of the next month! I was like are u kidding me!? So i wait ..and wait.. and wait.. and get pregnant.. which yes it IS my own fault.. but we were using condoms, and i was TRYING to get on birth control but my goodness they take sooo long! So finally my appt. comes around and I don't need it anymore.. thanks you slow health dep. GRRR Anyways.. I was actually pretty excited.. wasn't exactly ready.. but I was going to put it before everything else and work around it, because I was going to be responsible for my actions.. well i tried to make an appt. with the health dep. to be medically confirmed pregnant(HAHA which is impossible to get one anytime in the next 345943 years! and you cant go for birth control and get preg. tested cause they won't do that.. grr) and before my appt. (SURPRISE SURPRISE) i started bleeding.. it lasted 6 days and i was really confused.. i told my mom and everybody in my family when I found out I was preg.. when i bled, I told my mom she said did you pass any tissue? Not that i know of- then the last day was brownish blood and a piece of pinkish tissue, VERY small though.. I was broken.. because at first no.. I wasnt WANTING to be preg. but got use to the idea and fell in love with it.. well then next month i had my period and the month after that i didnt.. and my breasts got really sore and i had a HORRRRRIBLE HORRRIBLE cramping pain and i figured i was about to start my period.. thinkin i was havin extreme menstrual cramps.. well i waited 2 weeks.. nothing.. took a preg. test and it came up positive.. had to do the SAME THING with the health dep. they need to get it together for people like me! Finally I got in.. and was confirmed medically preg.. they sched me a WIC appt and referred me to an OB/GYN and i called 2 the numbers and they both said i needed to go to DHS(department of human services) and be switched my insurance from single to preg. well i went up there they said i had to come back 7:30 am- 8:30am to be interviewed? i thought this was odd you only usually have to do that for food stamps and such.. they gave me a form to fill out it was like 8 pages long asking questions like how much is my house payment etc? im like gettin more ******.. so i go the next morning 7:45 and they are CLOSED on Tuesdays LUCKY ME! Well my cramping get worse and worse and then on top of all that my car breaks down.. and my fiance works 3rd shift and its impossible to get there at that time now! I am going through all this stress and constantly HURTING at work! I buy some tylenol since thats the only kind i heard you can take when ur preg.. 3 days later at work i start bleeding and cramping feeling like someone was seriously.. literally.. STABBING me in my abdomen! i started puking from the pain and they said do you need to go home? I was like I think ill go to the hospital actually.. and I turned around, and passed out.. went to the ER and they did a pelvic exam had to be on a cathiter(sp?) because i was bleeding and they needed urine samples.. they called in someone on their day off to to an ultra sound and all these test.. i waited .. and waited.. they came up and told me i had miscarried.. thats all I heard and they gave me 10 tablets of hydrocotone..i went home and was still cramping and bleeding.. and then i passed tissue a few days later.. they never told me WHY i miscarried or anything.. I called the health dep after that i was going to do a follow up.. guess what same thing happend and I got ****** and never called back to reschedule it.. then about a month later I called up there and was going to get a physical, get checked to make sure i didnt need a D&C and to be put on birth control.. Well i went there like a month later and they talked to me about the mirena the "T" and they said i was NOT a canidate for this cause i had never had a kid.. well that was fine with me.. but i wanted to talk about pill contraceptive as well.. she told me i had to sched another appt?!? and that i needed a phyical before they could give me it.. soooo since thats not exactly top priority( dont know WHAT is obviously not pregnant women!) i sched one and that is on the 7th of next month.. but guess what? about 2 or 3 weeks ago my breast got VERY sore and i didnt have my period.. im cramping HORRIBLY like before and just feel like curling up in a ball and dieng cause I am being hassled on wedding dresses.. I haven't told them I am preg yet this time, mainly because it was SO hard on them the other 2 times i told them i was preg and don't want to bring them through that AGAIN.. so i went dress shoppin last 2 days.. and i love alot of the dresses.. but keep having to make excuses about why im not gettin them like i dont like them or it costs too much.. i think they are suspicious.. but i dont want to tell them i am preg until i find out somethin! I havent started bleeding yet.. and all i can do is wait.. i keep waiting.. and waiting.. and called the health dep and told them whats up.. they will TRY to get me in.. i am scared.. I dont know what to expect and how to go on.. i mean.. i will be devistated if i miscarry again i think it will ruin all hope of me ever concieving a child healthily..but i dont know! I cant pick a dress cause i dont know if ill still be preg in 3 months at my wedding or not i dont want to spend 700 dollars on a dress that wont fit! and I dont wanna tell them i am preg and get a maternity dress and miscarry next month or the month of my wedding.. I can just wait i guess.. and i suspect last pregnancy was a tubal pregnancy the more i have been reading about it.. and think this one might be too! but they never told me the cause of the last "spontaneous abortion" so i dont know.. i heard if u have one ur more likely to have another.. i just want to know once and for all because yes i will be crushed.. but i would rather know up front instead of hoping.. waiting.. thinking well its been longer now.. so i think its OK. then miscarry.. i want to know up front so i can move on and make plans for whatever way my life leads me.. whether its with this baby.. or unfortunately not.. me and my fiance have been fighting TERRIBLY and i cant tell him this stuff if i start to he wants me to shut up and we start argueing.. itsbeen BAD and i am SOOO emotional right now! ON TOP OF THAT my maid of honor doesnt want to be in my wedding for RIDICULOUS "middle school type drama" She needs to grow up.. so i am stressing even more which worries me cause thats bad for the baby.... that i dont even know if i have or not.. and i am afraid if i have a tubal preg. that i might rupture by the time i get in and get checked since they take FOREVERRR and also dont know how to delay and get around the wedding thing with out knowing this.. and if i lose it.. i want to be put on birth control so that i dont get preg AGAIN before my wedding! but they take SO LONG.. i hope i have this baby.. but since your supposed to wait 4 months between pregnancies i doubt its forming right and that upsetsme.. HELP!!!!!!!??!?
OK, Let's get this sorted out. I don't want you to be upset with what I am about to say, but you have to stop having unprotected or underprotected sex right now. This string of miscarriages is not good for your overall reproductive health and it is obviously not the right time in your life to be risking one pregnancy and miscarriage after another.
What you heard about being prone to miscarriages is true. The fact that you keep having them is a sign. You are not even giving your body a chance to heal between these m/c's happening and that is not good. Don't wait for the appointments to get the pill. There has to be a planned parenthood or free clinic or someplace that you can be seen right now. You have to be seen as soon as possible. Even if you have to go back to the ER for now and just explain to them how many m/c's you've had, how close together they have been, and now are pregnant again, I would hop they would help for now.
Just because you think you may have passed some tissue, doesn't mean you passed it all, and you probably did need a D&C the last time. Please get in to see whoever you can right now. Even if you have to pay out of pocket for the time being. Tell your fiance he needs to help pay or ask your mom for a loan or something. If this is a viable pregnancy, it could still be a high risk one and you and the baby will need special care.
Please, please see to this. You can not go on like this. This is serious stuff. You may have uterine issues that are causing these constant m/c's, and it would be foolish to keep this cycle going, without getting the proper medical attention.
I wish you the best and hope you can get this straightened out. Please let us know, OK?
I'm so sorry you're having all of these things going on. I agree that you need to be seen ASAP. If you don't go to the ER you need to call a an OB/GYN today and explain your situation. Just tell them that you've had a string of miscarriages in the recent past and that you suspect you're pregnant now. Tell them that the health department won't see you in a reasonable amount of time and that you are in severe pain. Ask if they will work out a payment plan for this visit as you don't have insurance or just pay it up front (you must have some money stashed away for that wedding dress). You're health is by far more important than something you'll wear one time anyway....I bought a beautiful dress for $150 at the mall and I was just as happy as if I bought one for $1000.
Once you get on birth control pills have your fiance continue to wear a condom or pull out before he ejaculates. Do this as an extra precaution for a period of time long enough for your body to heal. You can still get pregnant while on the pill.
I hope you get seen soon and get taken care of properly.
Thank you both for the advice! I have having really bad pains this morning at about 5am and my fiance got off work early ( he works 3rd shift) and he took me to the ER. They gave me a pelvic exam and a pap. They said that I AM pregnant, that I have no infections/diseases and that my pregnancy seems normal and my HCG level was 5,247 and I can be anywhere from 3-4 weeks to 1 month and a half.. He said that my uterus was not enlarged AT ALL so it seemed as if I was not pregnant, or very early in.. this scared me.. since he said it being so small he estimates about 3 weeks? The chart they gave me was sort-of differnt but he said it seemed like a normal pregnancy and that there was nobody in yet to do an ultra sound.. THIS made me VERY uncomfortable.. this is the reason i went.. i wanted to find out if i had an ectopic pregnancy.. with an ultra sound via stomach AND my vagina ( same as last time) they can see if there is a sac in my UTERUS instead my tubes,cervix,abdomen other places common for ectopic pregnancies.. he said to follow up if i had any vaginal bleeding or the cramps worsen.. I am scared at this point and highly unsatisfied with my visit! I don't believe at all that he has enough information to say that it was a healthy pregnancy.. my HCG levels need to be monitered every 48-72 hours to see if they double(which is good) and if they stay consistant or drop ( i am miscarrying) so this made me mad.. and the fact that doing a simple pelvic and pap will only tell if my uterus is enlarged and if i have bladder infections, or and STD etc.. So if i DO have an ectopic prengnacy and he sent me on my way.. thinking i was healthy and that these pains are NORMAL? I may not come back until it is too late! If its an ectopic my tubes could rutpure and i could internally bleed maybe causing death! and I have no signs of when this will happen except the pains.. and then last stage.. SHOCK and at that point i am not able to take charge of myself and the situation.. so in the morning i AM calling Dr. Claypool and seeing what my options are.. although i haven't been able to get an interview with DHS for my insurance yet.. I think that is ridiculous and there should be a law against that.. if I am pregnant I should be seen no matter what! especially if i think something is wrong! I will explain i think i have an ectopic pregnancy and wasnt able to get an ultra sound.. hopefully she can accompany me and assist me with this, and soon hopefully! As for the protected sex thing, we were using condoms most of the time.. and when we werent he pulled out, I know this itsself isnt very effective but he is a guy and sometimes can't help himself.. thats why I was trying to be put on birth control and Once again after my visit today I am left very stressed because I feel as a woman (who usually knows her body best and should listen to her instincts) that something is WRONG with my pregnancy.. the doctor could not tell me WHY i was having these pains.. he could only tell me that it was NOT cause of this or NOT cause of that.. well i still have to avoid the wedding issues and go on not knowing what to expect.. i wish i knew so i could prepare my self either way, if i know in the end it will be a healthy pregnancy. .then i will tell my family and see my options maybe a maternity dress? even though thats one of my worst fears showing at my wdding and not feeling beautiful and lookin back knowin that.. but i would atleast have my baby and knows its going to be safe.. or know that it was going to miscarry.. cause i would be very upset but i could know its ok to look at dresses and they will fit in 4 months.. I dont want to say anything to them til i know, i cant put them through this again, its been hard enough on me!
Go to a library and get the book What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Believe it or not cramping pains are actually very common in pregnancy. Especially in the first trimester because the uterus is stretching and so are other muscles in the area to make room for your changing body. Granted with your past of miscarriages it is scary and should be checked out anyway.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
First of all, you really need to stop stressing out so much. That is by far the worse thing you can do right now. More than likely everything is ok with the baby and you are making the normal cramping of pregnancy much worse by stressing out about it. Yes, you can make yourself feel much more pain than you are actually having. You have to get control of your mind. Second, you need to get an ultrasound so calling you doctor is definitely a good idea. Once you get this done, you can put to rest the worry of where your baby landed. I'm surprised the doctor, PA, or NP (or even an RN) couldn't run the ultrasound machine at the ER. It's not like they'd be doing an anatomy scan of the baby....just strange. I think you should call the patient advocate in that hospital and express your concerns of the lack of care received.
Here's my opinion about your wedding dress concerns. You need to get over this. If you're nice and healthy and pregnant on your wedding day you should feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. Why in the world would you think you would not feel beautiful? After all second trimester pregnancy is pretty great for most women. And you probably won't be huge by then anyway. Not trying to offend your need for a nice big wedding, but why don't you guys just go ahead and get married? Have your family and close friends come for a nice quiet ceremony and just get married. You honestly won't feel any less special than if you had a wedding like Princess Di. Don't you think your family would understand the circumstances and would put you and your health above having a big wedding?
I totally agree with Bleigh. A healthy mom and a healthy baby are so much more important than a big wedding. You can always have a nice reception after the baby is born. You could even renew your vows before, if you want.
The most important thing is to stay calm. Stress can do some crazy things to our bodies. Our hormones, especially.
I don't know if Dr. Claypool is an OB/GYN, but if this doc helped you in the past, I'm sure they will do the same now. Please call and get that appointment.