I just found out that my 33 year old daughter cannot have children and is now going through post-menopause. These are times when motherhood for me is not so pleasant. I would appreciate any knowledge one my have with encouraging words, known books or something that will help me make my daughter feel a sense of worth. I have viewed the Internet for assistance with this issue but nothing mentions a loss of bearing children. Please, any suggestions would help This is a time when mother's words cannot fix everything. TB
I know how your daughter feels. When I was 13 I got told I probably wouldn't be able to have kids, and have felt a loss and that my life would never amount to anything and I would have nothing to show for it. I am however still trying.
Tell your daughter that life isn't about having kids or not having kids. We may leave our children on this world as evidence of what we have done with our life. For some people, thats all they have to show. But for alot of other wonderful people, our actions, our knowledge, and our own personal achievements are what people remember us by. I'm sure your daughter has done so many things to make her life, and every one elses life worth while. She doesn't need children to do that.
Who would want smelly diapers and baby spew and sick coughing children anyway!! (Joke). Whether we help our children grow into good people, or we help other people be family, friends, of any age, we should feel pride and a sence of worth because even though they arent our children, your still helping them grow and become all they can be, no matter what age.
At the end of the game.. The king and the pawn go into the same box.
I saw your post on the infertility board and wanted to share my story. I'm 31 and in '06 I was told my chances of having a baby on my own with my husband was very low and we should try IVF. I went through 3 cycles (one of them was frozen) before getting pregnant. Now, my mom, who is a bit older, didn't understand all of what I was going through medically, but she did understand that I just needed to talk about it, get it off my chest and she cheered me on and celebrated with me when things went well in my cycle. And, when they didn't, she bought me flowers and came over to spend time with me. Sadly, during my last cycle, she was sick and in the hospital. She died about a month before I found out I was pregnant. I named my daughter after my mom. I'm telling you all of this because even now, going through infertility again to have a 2nd child, I wish my mom was here. There was so much she didn't understand or relate to me but she didn't really have to understand, she was just there when I needed her. And that made all the difference to me. So, sometimes there are no words. Just listen without giving advice, (unless asked). Be there when she feels down, know that she is hurting and it won't just go away. The other reason I wanted to share my story is because I was adopted. Adoption seems like it would be one of your daughter's only options and there are so many wonderful stories of people who are adopted. I loved my mom like she was my own; really I didn't know any comparison. Of course I wondered...but my life wouldn't be what it is today if we hadn't come into each other's lives. By the way, I have a twin sister as well. We were both adopted together!
I wish you all the best in this journey your daughter is about to take. You can't control where she goes, or how she'll get there, but you can be a traveling buddy, her very own security blanket for comfort and support.