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Old 11-20-2008, 11:07 PM   #1
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feeling violated

hello everyone,i need some advice from you women.i went to see a new obgyn yesterday morning.i was referred by my infertility doctor,she said it was gonna be a young man in his late 30's.i make an appt with him,and ended up being someone else in his late 60's.im used to having a nurse when i get a papsmear done,and that was what i was in for.instead it was just us 2 in the room.he did my exam, then he put his fingers as if he was going back into my vagina,but instead it went in my rectum,i screamed because it hurt,and asked him what he was doing".he said,"oh dont worry,i apologize im surprised no other doctor has done this to you before".i said no,never it hurts.i asked if maybe he had put his fingers in the right hole.i was angry.things just didnt feel right,he asked for me to get dressed and to meet him in his office.so i go in we talked about birth control,cause i have really heavy periods and their very painful as weel.well he prescribed the nuvaring,and then he said" atleast you'll be able to have sex on the weekends". i thought to myself "why he had said that to me,without knowing me.all day yesterday i spotted blood.and im still sore.can you girls give me some advice?it just doesnt feel right,i feel violated.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 12:24 AM   #2
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Re: feeling violated

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It definitely doesn't sound right at all. It's my understanding that there always has to be a nurse present during the exam if the doctor is a guy. That's how it always was whenever I saw a male gyno. Maybe it's even a law? In any event, I'd report him to the medical board immediately. You may also consider some counseling to help you through this traumatic experience.

Last edited by kittywitty; 11-21-2008 at 12:33 AM.

 
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Old 11-21-2008, 09:01 AM   #3
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Re: violated by my doctor

Oh my, sorry to hear you got such a bad treatment. I remember reading something about that there is a reason why they would give you a rectal exam, that would be related to really bad endo. Nevertheless, I would still share this experience with you infertility doctor, maybe he can share more light on that, and see if that old doctor was within right reasons to do that. In my opinion that guy sound pretty creepy, I hate when doctors think they can push you around like that. I'm sure next time you meet any new doctors you ask them ahead of time what they will do.
Take care,
Mady

 
Old 11-21-2008, 09:06 AM   #4
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Re: feeling violated

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittywitty View Post
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It definitely doesn't sound right at all. It's my understanding that there always has to be a nurse present during the exam if the doctor is a guy. That's how it always was whenever I saw a male gyno. Maybe it's even a law? In any event, I'd report him to the medical board immediately. You may also consider some counseling to help you through this traumatic experience.
thanks.im gonna call up my previous gyno.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 09:12 AM   #5
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Re: violated by my doctor

Quote:
Originally Posted by M77W View Post
Oh my, sorry to hear you got such a bad treatment. I remember reading something about that there is a reason why they would give you a rectal exam, that would be related to really bad endo. Nevertheless, I would still share this experience with you infertility doctor, maybe he can share more light on that, and see if that old doctor was within right reasons to do that. In my opinion that guy sound pretty creepy, I hate when doctors think they can push you around like that. I'm sure next time you meet any new doctors you ask them ahead of time what they will do.
Take care,
Mady
thanks.i will talk to my infertility doctor today.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 11:09 AM   #6
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Re: feeling violated

Boogie-
Wow, I am really sorry about what you went through. I would have felt violated as well. I may be wrong, but I thought it was a law that a nurse had to be in the room during that kind of exam. And no, I have never had a gyno put their fingers in my rectum. It may be common for some gynos to do this, but I have never had that done.

I think that his comment about having sex on the weekend was totally inappropriate as well.

If you feel violated, you should call the medical board for your state and file a complaint. No one should ever be put in a position to feel violated by a doctor.

Take care, and again, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 01:34 PM   #7
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Re: feeling violated

Good deal. While you're at it, too, you should call your infertility doctor and let her know what happened to you, so that hopefully she won't refer anyone else to that weirdo.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 01:40 PM   #8
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Re: feeling violated

I would definetly report him that does not sound professional at all. I'm so sorry. and where I live it is a law for the doctor male or female to ask if you would like a nurse in the room.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 01:55 PM   #9
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Re: feeling violated

I am a 48 year old woman who has had many visits with OB/GYN's throughout the years, as well as giving birth twice. I have never heard of such horrible bedside manner from any doctor, and I think it stinks.

First of all, any old man doctor should be the first to protect himself against potential lawsuits that could ensue, just by not having a nurse present at all times. In this day and age, that seems pretty stupid of him. Definately report him...he's a jerk.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 02:04 PM   #10
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Re: feeling violated

Quote:
Originally Posted by writeleft View Post
I am a 48 year old woman who has had many visits with OB/GYN's throughout the years, as well as giving birth twice. I have never heard of such horrible bedside manner from any doctor, and I think it stinks.

First of all, any old man doctor should be the first to protect himself against potential lawsuits that could ensue, just by not having a nurse present at all times. In this day and age, that seems pretty stupid of him. Definately report him...he's a jerk.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 03:47 PM   #11
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Re: feeling violated

I don't even think male gynes should exist, just my personal opinion.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 04:24 PM   #12
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Re: feeling violated

I am sorry you had to endure an exam from a doc that wasn't very light handed and he has forgotten that not all patients know what is going to happen so he needs to be talking his way through things. A rectal exam is not uncommon during a female exam and I have it done over the years by various docs. I think you need to call your own doc office back and explain what this guy did and ask for another referral...maybe you were suppose to go to this younger doctor and were switched to this older doc for some unknown reason...maybe the one you were suppose to go to was called out on an Emergency at the last min but this should of been told to you and let you make the decision of whether or not to continue with the appointment. But the receptionist really doesn't care she just if focused on making things flow so the patient is over looked..that's when I speak up!.. when that happens I just say no thanks and walk out.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 07:17 PM   #13
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Re: violated by my doctor

A rectal exam is part of a gyn exam. If a doctor is not checking that they are not being thorough enough.

 
Old 11-21-2008, 07:31 PM   #14
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Re: violated by my doctor

a rectal may be part of a routine gyn exam...but the way the doctor went about it is wrong. The doctor should have had a nurse in the room and he should have told you everything he was doing...I am sorry you had to go through this.

Definitely report him. Just his bedside manner alone is appalling...let alone what he did without your consent.

Best Wishes.

Angela

 
Old 11-21-2008, 08:58 PM   #15
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Re: violated by my doctor

Quote:
Originally Posted by kandekane8 View Post
A rectal exam is part of a gyn exam. If a doctor is not checking that they are not being thorough enough.
well that has never happened to me,and he could of warned me first.

 
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