Join Date: Feb 2009
Undetected pregnancy/going crazy
I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind, so hopefully someone can shed some light on this. I know only doctors and medical tests can give me real answers, and over the next few weeks I do have appointments to see my doctors. But anybody who has been in the same or similar situation must know that a few weeks can feel like forever to wait for an answer.
In August, I found out that I was pregnant through a home pregnancy test, I would have been 3 weeks at the time. I booked a doctor's appointment for prenatal care, but miscarried the baby a week before the appointment (a week after testing positive). My period returned to normal, have gotten one every month since.
This was not my first miscarriage and it really broke my heart. My husband and I started using condoms and decided to wait to see a specialist before trying again. We lived in the States at the time, and I did not have health insurance. So we decided we'd wait till we moved to Canada, where I was born and raised, before we'd go see a specialist.
We did 2 home pregnancy tests in late September, 3 weeks after the miscarriage, to make sure it was a miscarriage since we hadn't seen a doctor. Both came out negative. Shortly thereafter, my gallbladder began acting up and I began having attacks. The gallbladder problem goes back 4 generations in my family, so it was no big surprise when it happened to me. And that is amongst one of the worst pains in the world for the record.
In December, I moved back to Canada, while my husband stayed behind because he was still immigrating to Canada at the time. I came back on Christmas day and ended up in the hospital with an awful gallbladder attack. I was lucky, they did an ultrasound and were able to confirm the gallbladder problem right away. I am scheduled for surgery on February 26th to have my gallbladder removed.
I am overweight, I was 190 pounds upon returning to Canada. I am eating healthy and exercising now, and I'm down to 180 pounds, so I've lost 10 pounds over 6 weeks. I take my measurements and record them once a week. I didn't notice until last week, but the measurements are getting less and less except for my waist is half an inch larger than when I started. I took a few close looks in the mirror, and took side view pictures, I look like I'm in my third trimester, which if I hadn't miscarried the baby, is exactly how far along I'd be. I felt my stomach and it feels hard like a uterus and the fundal height of the supposed uterus matched how far along I would have been.
Now, when your a woman, who thinks she might not be able to have children of her own, and you want to be a mother, that just gives you a lot of hope that by some miracle that baby is still alive. I was overweight, so I thought maybe I hadn't noticed the size increase.
Then logic hit me, I hadn't missed a period since the miscarriage, but I had also heard that very rarely, vaginal bleeding can occur in coincidental timing of when a period would be. Being pregnant was a long shot but my mind would not rest. I have a pre-operative examination before the surgery with my normal doctor, so I plan to talk about it with him then.
I still can't get my mind off of it so I started to look up symptoms of being in the third trimester. My breasts are not sore, the areolas are not any darker than normal, but I do have those white dots (Montgomery Glands) on my nipples and they are enlarged. Which does happen during pregnancy, but is not always a sign of pregnancy. I am tired, but who isn't tired once in a while. My back does hurt, but I did recently start working out. I have not have any form of morning sickness, not even in September, or cravings.
I even feel what I think is movement. I'm just afraid that since I'm looking and hoping for movement, that my mind will lead me to believe, what is not really there. Then I remembered, I had an ultrasound for the gallbladder attack, they saw a stone, so they would have seen a baby. But then I thought, maybe they weren't looking in the right area and missed a baby. At the time I had the ultrasound for the gallbladder, I would have been 22 weeks pregnant. So I'd imagine the chances of them missing a baby, regardless of where they were looking, were slim to none. I also had an x-ray done for the stones.
After feeling what I thought was one strong kick, I went out and bought another pregnancy test. It came out negative. But the instructions booklet said that in the third trimester, a false negative may occur due to a decrease in HCG. But if you look at the HCG levels in the third trimester, they are still higher than the first few weeks, which was enough for me to turn a test positive back in September before the "miscarriage". My stomach is swelled, and I know what I'm feeling is identical in feel and touch to a uterus. What I'm scared of though, is being diagnosed with hysterical pregnancy. I'm afraid that I wanted to me a mom so much that my uterus has expanded and my breasts are preparing to feed.
Here's what's for sure, my uterus is expanded, unless there is another organ or muscle that I don't know about that feels identical to a uterus. My breasts are beginning to form those white dots on the nipples. And everything matches up date wise. But I honestly think I'm just going crazy, because I've had 3 negative urine tests since the miscarriage and if I am pregnant, I tested negative at 27 weeks, which makes no sense at all, at least to me. And, an ultrasound done for gallbladder problems at what would have been 22 weeks pregnant, didn't send a doctor my way telling me that there was a baby.
I will have to wait till I get to my doctor and get a blood test or another ultrasound before I know for sure. I would really just like to hear any personal experience on this matter or any similar situation. Or if anyone can shed some light on this or has an opinion about this.
I'm a smart person, but I'm just lost with this mess. Please help
Last edited by Jenna86; 02-03-2009 at 10:58 PM.