Well, this may sound silly, but I am absolutely scared out of my wits over my 20 week ultrasound (actually, it will be 18 weeks 3 days)....
Anyway, I cannot explain why. I have been reading up on what they are looking for at this ultrasound (size, shape, markers for abnormalities, fluid levels, etc) and it just seems like there are so many things to look for that ONE of them is going to be a little off. I am having nightmares of a doctor telling me that the baby isn't growing properly (I am not showing yet) or they found a bright spot on its heart or there is only one kidney or SOMETHING is missing etc etc etc. I know it sounds kind of crazy. I don't have any real basis for worry other than I have had two unrelated surgeries on my stomach during this pregnancy, plus major antibiotics, an MRI, morphine for the pain, etc and it seems like all of that must have done some damage to the brain or the organs or the limbs or something. I also am overweight (about 210) and I carry most of my weight in my stomach (it sort of hangs over...gross I know, I am sorry!) and I think maybe it is pulling on the baby or crushing it in my sleep ( I do sleep on my side though). I also drank alcoholic coolers 3 or 4 times a week for the first four weeks before I knew I was pregnant, and also did not take folic acid until after I knew (not before conception). I am doing all of the right things now, but it has been a tough go of things with the surgeries and infection (had appendix out, which had leaked a little, needed follow-up surgery on top of the first one). I DO have a foetal monitor. The heart beat sounds just fine. This is the only thing keeping me going. But why can't I feel anything? I have too much fat to be showing, but even then I feel that my stomach looks the same. Where is this baby hiding inside of me and do I have anything to worry about with this ultrasound? I also had my triple marker blood test and I am scared that I am going to be on the high end of the risk factor because of my weight and exposure to the medications...I know this is a lot to read and give an answer to, but I am just three days away from this test and the nightmares will not end. I can think of nothing else. I feel like in three days I am going to lose this baby. I know it sounds crazy, I just can't help the way I feel. I am a worrier!! If anyone has ever felt this or has any answers to my many, many worries and questions, please feel free to post! Thanks for your help!
Have you had a previous ultrasound, and was it normal?
Have you had regular pre-natal care throughout your pregnancy?
Have you shared your concerns (about the other health issues) with your OB/GYN?
If you have answered yes to these questions, I would put your fear aside and try to enjoy your pregnancy. Every mother has concerns about her pregnancy, and the baby's developement...but to obsess over things that have no medical basis, is hurtful to you, and in turn, the baby.
As far as "showing" at 18-20 weeks...that is normal too. With my first child, I began to show at 28 weeks, my last child...a little sooner-but not 10 weeks sooner!
We are very lucky to live in a time where we have such sophisticated medical knowledge, and interventions that mother's never had before. My eldest child is almost 25, and we did not have ultasound technology then. I would take comfort in the fact that women (of all shapes and sizes) have been successfully giving birth for millions of years, and until quite recently, without the help of technology. Be happy that you have such thorough diagnostics, and information available. For goodness sake, I imagine everything will be just fine, and what a waste of energy to get so worked up beforehand.
I'm sure everything will be fine. Just relax about it.
I know, easier said than done! I would put yourself on an "information diet" -- it sounds like you've been reading so much stuff that you've convinced yourself that everything is going to be bad. Just lay off the info for awhile. Remember that a huge amount of women have this test done all the time and that everything turns out fine.
Focus more on the exciting part -- getting to see your little one onscreen moving and shaking. And learning the gender (if you don't know it already). That's all you CAN focus on, since the rest is just utter speculation.
I'm 38 weeks... every week for 8 weeks now I've had a non-stress test done. If I worried every week about the results of that or whether the baby was moving enough or whether my fluid levels were declining, I'd be a basket case! My doctor is there for a reason, and all I can do is put faith in her and in God.
As I said before, I'm sure everything will be fine. Your docs wouldn't have done all the other stuff (surgery, MRIs, etc.) unless it was utterly necessary and the baby wasn't in jeopardy. And don't worry about the drinking thing... my first OB told me to think of it like this: in the middle ages all they had to drink that was clean was mead (beer).
PS -- don't let your weight get you down. I'm a size 18/20 (for both pregnancies) and haven't had any problems. Yes, I do tend to just look even more fat instead of pregnant when I'm not wearing maternity clothes, but *I* know I'm pregnant, and that's what counts. If this is your first child you won't feel the kicks, regardless of size, until about this point in your pregnancy... or even as late as 22 weeks. In future pregnancies they will be felt earlier (it was at about 15 weeks for me this time around).
Last edited by xinerevelle; 02-16-2009 at 01:36 PM.
Thanks so much for the responses.
Yes I have had previous ultrasounds that were normal and I have had regular care throughout the pregnancy. Whenever I bring these issues up to a doctor they kind of brush me off. I guess they are not concerned about any of it, but they also don't have to be. It's not their child.
I must say that I AM excited about maybe finding out the gender. That part is awesome. And seeing the baby again. It has been a month since the last time. Last ultrasound I was sure the baby was not alive. I had no symptoms and I have had a missed miscarriage before. I was so shocked that the baby was still there moving around and looked ok. This was at 14 weeks. So I hope that I get shocked again. I told myself, "If the baby is alive, I won't worry about anything ever again. I will be the happiest person in the world" And I was! And now that some time has passed, I have new concerns, because now I have let myself get so attached that if anything goes wrong, I will just be dead inside. Anyway, this is a huge burdern that I know I put on myself. In all honesty I know that everything is probably just fine. I just can't help but worry. I always do. I actually had my ultrasound moved up a few days (I am getting it done at a different hospital that specializes in genetics, as they are going to look for signs of a cleft palate) so at least I do not have to wait as long. Just three days to go! I also worry about that stupid blood test. Not because I think the baby actually has Downs, but just that it might come back with a false positive which will promt me into the amnio..which can be harmful.
I can't wait to feel the baby move. I am so excited about that. Hopefully in a couple more weeks!
Anyway, I will definitely post about how things go in three days. I appreciate your responses GREATLY! Really helps me feel better.
I only have time for a quick reply but I just wanted to say that if you get a false positive on your bloodwork you do not have to take the amnio. Would you abort if there was a prob? Most likely not, so leave it up to god. I am supposed to get a genetic ultrasound becasue I am 38 years old but I told them no. I am not paying that much for an ultrasound. I am 22 weeks and have yet to have an ultrasound. If you have a midwife you would not get one at all. So good luck
Time to practice TRUST... You have done everthing you can do, your doctors have no concerns, your previous testing has been good...Trust in nature now, and relax yourself.
Your baby needs a calm, in control mother...before, and after birth. If something is wrong, you will be the first to know. Every other second should be about discovering the miracle of pregnancy, and childbirth.
Look past your previous experiences (you can't forget them), this is the one! Focus on the positive, then you will experience the positive!
I specifically CHOSE to have amnios with both of my pregnancies... just because I wanted to make sure that if there was a problem I had the best medical team available to me and that I was in an appropriate hospital setting when I gave birth... or if there was something that could be done in utero we could do that. Also, I wanted to make sure that I could read up on any conditions, if necessary, and prepare myself emotionally. We had friends who had a baby with Downs Syndrome and they didn't know it in advance. I can only imagine how disheartened they were after expecting a perfect baby, only to have to suddenly deal with the emotions of having a their hopes and dreams for their child dashed in an instant. So, even though I didn't plan to terminate, there were many reasons for an amnio. And it's not that complicated of a procedure. I had it done by a perinatologist who does them all the time.
So even if you do end up needing an amnio, don't worry about it. You'll get another u/s if you do! Also, that's the reason I skipped the triple test and all those "early screens" -- because I'm 37 I would automatically be told that I had a greater risk, so I figured might as well skip to the amnio directly.
Thanks for all of your comments. Everything turned out just fine. I am having a baby girl and she seems very healthy. No soft markers were found. Very excited and happy now! Thanks again!!!
Good luck to you. Try not to stress out. I am sure you will be fine.
Don't worry about your weight.
I understand your worries however, and my stoey is why I will not get getting pregnant any time soon...
I was pregnant with identical twin boys in 2007. It was planned. We where on cloud nine! On our 18 week ultrasound, they doctors found water on the brains of both. In one week it doubled in size. We where crushed. They did an amino the day of the ultrasound. We spoke to everyone, had an MRI, saw everyone that could help. We had to terminate at 21 weeks and 3 days. Was the worst of our life. Turns out that they also had TTS, Twin to Twin Syndrome and they would not have made it anyway.
We did the right thing.
I wish you all the best. No one should have to even worry if their baby is healthy. It's a gift that some take advantage of. Good luck to you & your baby.