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Old 08-19-2009, 08:17 AM   #1
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Unhappy need to fake being a virgin!!!

hi i need to fake being a virgin my fiance thinks i am a virgin when he asked it accidently slipped out yea i am i dont want to have a operation i cant now tell him the truth being too long we decided to wait till we are married i love him he loves me but i dont know how im gona get through this its on my mind night and day when i lost it to someone it wasnt what i wanted i hate him for it now but anyway thats in the pass only had that one partner only did it 6-8 times so i dont think im that loose..i was thinking to time my wedding day around my period about 4-5 day when the bleeding is lighter and hold in anyblood till i lay on the bed im just wondering if he'd be able to tell when he inserts it i dont know what else i can do if anyone has any advise please reply and please dont say its best to tell him the truth and not start a relationship with a lie i know that but i just cant tell him now

 
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:58 AM   #2
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Relax, there's no way to tell if a woman is a virgin or not. There is a myth that all virgin women have a hymen to break that will bleed their first time. The truth is that your hymen can break at any time, especially during heavy physical activity. A lot of little girls break it playing sports as children. Sometimes toddlers break their own hymen while exploring themselves. Conversely, sometimes the hymen doesn't break the first few times you have sex. The first time I had sex, my hymen had already been broken somehow and I didn't bleed at all. My sister lost hers when she was 11, jumping hurdles in our front yard.

It is also a myth that having sex will permanently loosen your vagina. That isn't true. The vagina is elastic. It will stretch during sex and go back to being its original small shape after a short while. If you haven't had sex for a month, it's going to feel like your first time all over again.

If he loves you, though, none of this should even matter.

 
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Old 08-19-2009, 10:07 AM   #3
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

yea i know the first time for me i didnt bleed a drop was uncomfrotable cuz of the hymen but it was very bearable i was very active during school and that..he'd still wanna see the blood so do you think i should have my period on the wedding night to show the blood dont know if he'd be sus about if it slides in easily i know to just lay there and act dumb i can do that..what do you think??? thanxs 4 reply ur great!!!

 
Old 08-19-2009, 12:31 PM   #4
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Well, I don't know what hymen blood looks like, but don't you think he'd notice the tampons and pads, or what if you have sex again later that night and are still bleeding...or your period lasts a day longer than you expected?

How easily it will go in depends on how lubricated (aroused) and comfortable you are. Being nervous can make it more difficult, which is the case for many women during their first time. Some women have difficulty being penetrated every time they have sex because they get nervous, and others find it very easy even their first time. Also, some virgin women are better at sex than men that aren't virgins because they've learned more about it.

I really think you can't fake being a virgin because being a virgin doesn't look different than being experienced. It sounds like you didn't bleed and had an easy time of it your first time, so you should know. If you really aren't ready to tell him that you made a mistake and lied to him, maybe you could tell him that you think you broke your hymen because you bled a little after doing some activity. (That's what happened to my sister. She thought she started her period because her panties were bloody, and only realized what had happened when she was older.) Or that you've penetrated yourself before. Or tell him that you read that not all women bleed so he shouldn't expect that.

Is it very important to him that you're a virgin? Is he a virgin?

 
Old 08-19-2009, 07:57 PM   #5
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Unhappy Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lysander View Post
Well, I don't know what hymen blood looks like, but don't you think he'd notice the tampons and pads, or what if you have sex again later that night and are still bleeding...or your period lasts a day longer than you expected?

How easily it will go in depends on how lubricated (aroused) and comfortable you are. Being nervous can make it more difficult, which is the case for many women during their first time. Some women have difficulty being penetrated every time they have sex because they get nervous, and others find it very easy even their first time. Also, some virgin women are better at sex than men that aren't virgins because they've learned more about it.

I really think you can't fake being a virgin because being a virgin doesn't look different than being experienced. It sounds like you didn't bleed and had an easy time of it your first time, so you should know. If you really aren't ready to tell him that you made a mistake and lied to him, maybe you could tell him that you think you broke your hymen because you bled a little after doing some activity. (That's what happened to my sister. She thought she started her period because her panties were bloody, and only realized what had happened when she was older.) Or that you've penetrated yourself before. Or tell him that you read that not all women bleed so he shouldn't expect that.

Is it very important to him that you're a virgin? Is he a virgin?
well ive heard and one of my girlfiends bled a pool of blood till the next morning some woman bleed alot others a little i didnt think that hymen blood is different to your period blood and plus id time my wedding night around the cycle where its the lightest. i did once say to him i think its broken ive had a medical procedure they had to put something up there to have a look inside i dont know if he bought it and said i think they broke part of it and i told him that i can fit my finger in there to see what he'd say he didnt sound to keen i dont know as for hiding the pad and tampon when we get to the hotel room ill go to the toilet and take it off clean up and ill hide it so he doesnt find it. i think if im lightly bleeding it will be abit lubricated ill just block it out in my mind and pretend i am a virgin and tighten things up down there i was looking at a cream you can purchase its called virgin cream apparently it tightens you up which i dont think id need alot of it if i dont have sex in a week i close up. thanxs for your reply youv been great and no hes not a virgin had a few woman i asked him have you ever had virgins he said no you'll be the first for me! xxx

 
Old 08-19-2009, 11:29 PM   #6
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by destiny5200 View Post
i asked him have you ever had virgins he said no you'll be the first for me! xxx
If he's never been with a virgin, you don't need to fake anything. You don't need to schedule your wedding day around your period. If your period is as regular as mine, you'll have your period during your anniversary year after year. Not fun.

Are you positive you want to start your marriage off with this lie? Have you been tested for all STDs? HPV? Any chance of running into the ex boyfriend? I have found the longer a lie lives, the harder the fall when it comes out. And karma usually makes sure it comes out.

 
Old 08-20-2009, 12:50 AM   #7
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

This whole thing seems very shallow and shifty to me. Marriage is a legal contract between two adults, which has many financial, moral, and lifetime responsibilities toward one another..(children?). This is not the time or place to enter into a lie, which will require more lies to cover up. No one has a right to falsify any information about themselves, and still enter into such a contract with another. It is bound to fail. Why would you even consider such a thing?

 
Old 08-20-2009, 05:46 AM   #8
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Here is my advice, which you may not want to hear.

I am 70. Many decades ago I had sex with a boy I knew, then years later I met my husband. I didn't mention this to him. I didn't schedule the wedding when I had my period (I thought about it) but he didn't seem to notice I had not bled, and the marriage went on.

Before marriage he was always very nice to me and respectful. As soon as we were married he started being angry and abusive. I didn't know why.

Years later it all came out in an argument, when he accused me of having had affairs and many sexual partners and lying to him about it. He said he wanted to have the marriage annulled after the wedding night, but decided against it.

I would have been better off.

I stayed with him until our last child left, then escaped, and am now alone and happy.

Do not start with a lie. He may eventually hate you for it. Mine did. I was mentally and physcially abused, hated, despised, put down and treated badly, cheated on, etc. In his mind I deserved all that.

Don't do it. Tell him the truth. If he loves you, he will stay; if not, you are way better off.

Love,

Grandma Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 08-22-2009 at 04:45 PM. Reason: shorten a little more

 
Old 08-20-2009, 06:43 AM   #9
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

You know what im really split on this one.....

Half of me thinks is it really worth all the heartache this MAY cause by telling him, you know what they dont know wont hurt them. Other half thinks its not really a great way to start married life with a (in my opinion) small insignificant fib. It wont change anything, you cant turn it all back.

But i think the problem lies with your guilt and can you live with the fib if you decide not to tell him? i dont think you could, your not coping now. Think this...if your strong enough to just put it all to the back of your mind forever then why tell him? if not and there could be a chance your ex might run into your new hubby then you may be better to just tell him, and he may not be so shocked afterall, and you will rest and enjoy your marriage guilt free.

This is a tough one and only you can decide whats best. Good luck and i hope you make the right decision for you both.

 
Old 08-20-2009, 08:11 AM   #10
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

hi martha thank you so much for your message. thats exactly what im afraid of but i dont know if he'd stay with me that long before he'd keave me might happen the next day. i could easily put it behind me beacuse when i did loose my virginity its was a mistake and dont think about him like they say you will always remember your first no not me. i kinda hinted him and said ive had a little medical procedure and i think my hymen is torn if not all gone he wasnt that happy but is still sticking by me he knows i use tampons and that. lso what im saying is ive kind of told him i dont have a hymen due to that procedure and im using tampons so if he says to me " ohh your not a virgin blah blah " ill say i told u i had a procedure done and ive used tampons all my life im not exactly telling him that ive lost it someone else i dont know im strong minded to put it behind me ive just gotta get thru the wedding night. so im on the pill and thought ill time my wedding on the last day of my period only a little blood so he will see the blood im just worried about if he can easily enter me thats where he'd get sus. otherwise id completely act like a virgin i very much regret what ive done i wish i could turn back the time i know that i cant. thank you for your reply let me know what you think or anyone else out there xxx

 
Old 08-20-2009, 09:04 AM   #11
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

This is insane! He's not a virgin so why do you have to be? Geez girl, if you tell him the truth and he gets mad and leaves, consider yourself lucky! Don't stay with such a small minded simpleton because you will be miserable!

A lot of girls don't bleed their first time! You didn't! So why do you have to have any bleeding? This whole situation is just insane.

Listen to the older ladies who have given you advice. All of this is nonsense and you're freaking over silly things!

 
Old 08-20-2009, 09:30 AM   #12
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

I'm sorry that your fiance is not someone who you can be honest with and be yourself with. You're AFRAID to tell him something.....what else will you lie about because you're afraid? If you can't talk to him about this, he's not your best friend, and you shouldn't be marrying him

 
Old 08-20-2009, 11:40 AM   #13
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

I agree 100% with Rosequartz. If you cannot confide in him and trust him to love you anyhow, he does not love you and you probably don't love him. Why love someone so judgemental? so why marry him? Wait until you find a man you can be totally yourself with, no holds barred. open and honest. Through thick and thin. Don't 'settle' for an inferior relationship.

By now he must already be suspicious - wondering "why is she obsessing about her injured hymen? " Who talks about things like that?

Good luck!

Love,

Martha

Last edited by Martha H; 08-20-2009 at 11:41 AM.

 
Old 08-20-2009, 11:46 AM   #14
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

Well Destiny

Aunt Martha always gives great sound advice--so listen!!!
Kszan--well she does not mess with words, frank and to the point---again listen!!!!
Rosequartz--she is a little less frank and to the point, however like Aunt Martha and Kszan, she is right on point---so once again "LISTEN!!!"

Even if you do not take the very good advice of these three intelligent women, than start to reread your posts and I think you will begin to understand how you really feel about this situation. I know that I already know how you feel and I will give you a hint on how you feel. "Uncertain on whether you really want to go through with this marriage--Do you really truely love this man--how embarrassed would you be if you choose to just call this whole thing off?? Your answer to yourself will be--If I have to ask this question on how my soon to be husband--best friend--lover of my life would react to something that happened before I met him, than I really am not ready to take a vow "to love, cherish and honor to till death due us part". Translation, you neither truely love this man because you can not tell him the truth about something that should have been discussed way before the eve of a wedding, nor do you honor him by thinking that he would just leave you because you are not a sacred virgin, (which I believe he already knows, or he would not be asking--he is just waiting to see if you would be honest with him), so we need not get to the death due us part because you two will not make it past your first months anniversery.
So Destiny--take a break, postpone if not alright cancel this wedding and either start to have an honest conversation with this young man who is either very nice or a very selfish self rightous young idiot or cuts the ties completely and let him go on with his life and you get on with your life. You sooo do not want divorce court--it really is quite expensive.

Last edited by shisslak; 08-20-2009 at 11:46 AM.

 
Old 08-20-2009, 03:02 PM   #15
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Re: need to fake being a virgin!!!

I am speechless.

 
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