Its my first time using a forum like this as Im embarrassed to talk about this.
I tried to have my second smear test this week. I know no1 likes having them done, but it was physically impossibly for the nurse to do it as I was so tense, and I tried my hardest not to be as I just wanted to get it over with, then the doc tried, and I couldnt relax nor stop crying (Im not a crier usually, I dont cry often, but I felt so stupid that I couldnt stop!) and she couldnt. They used smaller tools, and then the smallest one was in, but wasnt long enough so they used the next size, up and well it was a disaster.
The doc has given me diazepam to take before coming next time, but I just cringe at the though of it.
I wasnt the easiest of patients the first time round, that took a long time aswell, however the nurse was able to take a sample last time.
I had an internal ultrasound the other day and was a nightmare patient then aswell but they were able to do it eventually.
Im usually so relaxed at docs.dentists, etc. No1 likes going, but it doesnt worry me, only when its this area and I just feel so stupid, so pathetic.
Im 26, and have a healthy intimate relationship with my partner of almost 6 years, however we rarely have full intercourse as this often makes me feel uncomfortable. I want to, but sometimes I just dont feel ready for him to insert his penis fully and then we just rub against eachother, or our hands etc to orgasim. Even his fingers fully inside of me is sometimes uncomfortable so we just rub and sometimes i like it, sometimes i just prefer other things. Hes a wonderufl boyfriend and so patient and says that its the best sex life hes had and is more than happy with it, but since my episode in the docs this week, I just feel awful!
Anyone have any comments, advice (other than go talk to the doctor in more detail, I just want to talk about it here first) or any other stories linked?
Sorry its so long, I've never done this before, but just feel so helpless at the moment as I really really want to be normal but this week Im thinking that I am so not normal and its really getting me down, and Im usually such a positive, happy go luck girl.
I wish I could help you. I dont know if it sounds like a medical problem or not but im here to offer my support. Is the reason you do not like insertion because of pain? I know if my husband fully "inserts" himself it hurts me very badly but this has something to do with my cervix.
As for the doctor I would suggest bringing someone you trust to your appointments. I remember my very 1st one i nearly canceled because i did not want someone i didnt know "down there" Eventually my best friend at the time came with me and held my hand and talked to me the whole time explaining the process so that my mind would be off a stranger putting things in me. By far the worst things are the "platapus" ( as me and my friend called them" and the test where they put their fingers in you.
Now I always have my husband go and he holds my hand and talks to me. I also had to get an internal ultrasound and I will tell you, if i can avoid that at all costs, even with someone in there with me I will. I nearly felt raped after that.
Overall my biggst suggestion is having somone go with you. As for your sex life, I am glad that like me, you have a caring and consideate partner. Work together on this and im sure that sooner or later things will get "deeper" if they are hapy and you are happy and both of you can reach orgasims while you are in your "comphort zone" then I would not worry too much about it.
Last edited by ambermcc1987; 05-07-2010 at 06:09 PM.
I'm sorry you are having this problem. But it is something you really need to get passed.
First of all, you need a good gyno exam. If that means taking a valium beforehand, please do it. And talk with your doctor before the exam itself and explain about the problems you are having with sex. She can then check to see if there are any physical reasons why that's a problem.
If there are no physical problems, then you need to talk with a counselor/psychologist/etc about your sexual issues.
I wouldnt say that it is painful at all, it just feels a bit, ummm, uncomfortable, sensitive, um, I dont know, I cant describe it.
I think I'd be more embarrassed with someone else with me at the doctors to be honest. I have a lovely doc, and have an appointment to see her for another reason over the next few weeks, so if I get enough courage, I will bring this up aswell.
I had an internal ultrasound, and that was awful. They kept asking if it was painful, which it wasnt, it was just horrible. I didnt cry then, but felt awful all evening, and was quiet all evening, feeling, awful, and then cried!
We are very lucky to have such caring and considerate partners. Its nice to talk to someone who doesnt make me feel like Im odd. Thank you.
We both are able to orgasm, and my partner is so wonderful and says hes totally satisifed in that area so I shouldnt worry, but I do.
Why is sex painful for you, you said its something to do with your cervix? When did you find out that it was something to do with that?
Thanks again, really appreciate your support and comments x