Hi too anyone reading this. I am 22 years old and Im a muslim arab girl living in US. I knew this guy. I lost my virgintly to him. It was kind of a friends with benefits relationship thing. Loved him like crazy & still do. The guy wasnt arab & We had sex couple of times.
Im getting married in the summer June 2013 to someone in the Middle East. Theres no its and buts about being a virgin. you HAVE to or you'll people the family in shame and they might even kill a girl if there not a virgin. idk whats going to happen to me if i fo down there and they find out im not a virgin. So How do i fake being a virgin? what should i do? im very worried!.. could any give me any advice ?
please & thank you.
Last edited by Administrator; 01-02-2013 at 01:05 AM.
Unless you know a lot about sexual activity, I wouldn't think so. At one time many thought that not having a hymen and not bleeding the first time was an indicator. However, in this day and age where woman are physically active, the hymen can be gone way before one is sexually active. I suggest you see a gynocologist for more information on such matters.
The Following User Says Thank You to Titchou For This Useful Post: arabiangurl (12-18-2012)
I realize this is a cultural thing but there's literally no way for anyone to know for sure whether a male or a female is still a virgin. There is no "test" that can be done and there is not a definite method by which it can be determined.
Unfortunately, in many cultures around the world that are dominated by men (men, by the way who really don't understand women's bodies), they believe that the hymen has something to do with virginity, which is completely false and can be medically proven as false. But they won't accept this because they would rather cling to their outdated notions about women and believe their archaic ideas. Even more unfortunately, women are made to feel shame when they have already tore the hymen through playing sports, riding a bike, using tampons or any other methods by which a hymen can legitimately be broken aside from sexual contact.
You should go and discuss this with your gynecologist who can explain to you how uncommon it is for a woman of 22 to still have a hymen, whether or not she has actually had sex. I'm not sure whether anything she can tell you will ultimately make any difference because men in your culture don't value a woman's opinion whether or not she is a doctor, so I'm not sure what else you can do. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, however and I wish you all the best.
The following user gives a hug of support to Kszan: arabiangurl (12-18-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to Kszan For This Useful Post: arabiangurl (12-18-2012)
In your culture I understand the problem. and yes there is a possibility of him knowing. There are a couple of things that you can do. I had a friend that was in a similar situation. There is a surgery that few plastic surgions can do. As much as I hate to reference relality tv, there is an epidode of DR 90210 that performed this. It wasnt the boobie dr,it was one that specialized in genital re-construction. He made a "fake" hymen for lack of a better description. I hate the idea of you doing this though. There are so many quacks out there that you can end up in bad shape.
My friend took the non-surgical route. on her wedding night she had a small bottle of red liquid. Was the color and consistancy of blood. she hid it between the matress and then right before "it" happened she laid it underneath her, to simulate a broken hymen.
The only reason to have a surg is if they request a dr check. Now there is one more option, but not sure if this will work. Many doctors in America understand the need for a woman of Arab culture to have the virginity when they get married. some husbands will request that the woman get checked by a physician. If you know ahead of time and get in contact with the dr and tell them the situation. Request they give you a report of being a virgin. Yes the dr can tell. I know that in this day and age a lot of women dont have a hymen and not from having sex. My daughter lost hers when she fell on a cattle guard. But I also get the culture in which does not understand that.
So in short, If he wants dr proof try and talk to the doc before the exam, find a liquid the consitincy and color of blood to use the night the marriage is consemated and last ditch effort contact a REPUTABLE plastic surgeon that specializes in gentiallia. I wish you the best of luck. You are not the first one to go through this and you are not alone.
aww thankk you so much for that info @ yrsofpainsucks the surgery sounds terrifying. but the non-surgical route sounds like a great idea. I will definitely do that. Im a little familar with the guy and his family so Im postive they wont make me go see a doctor to see if im a virgin. all though alot of them do that. Thankfully I wont have to be put in that postion. Im going to spill a little blood in the mattress, act like im clueless about what hes doing and pray it works. Thank you all for the replies. helps alot and puts me in a better mood.
The following user gives a hug of support to arabiangurl: yrsofpainsucks (12-20-2012)