Posted by Tressia
on May 25, 2000 at 21:34:03:
In Reply to: Help! Cancer in the family! posted by Meg on April 24, 2000 at 14:10:25:
: Hi...we have just found out that my boyfriends father has been diagnosed with Cancer. He is devastated understandably. I am trying to be emotionally supportive but each time we speak we end up fighting. I am afraid I come off insensitive. I need to know what to expect in the future. I want to be supportive to him and his family but he pushes me away. How can I be there for him and be strong when we live 1000 miles apart? I would do anything for this man, yet things he has said to me have hurt since he has found out, I'm afraid he will keep pushing me away....is this normal and if it is how can I cope with it because I relaize it is hard on him? Any advice on how to be supportive or what are the right things to say in a situation like this? I have had close relatives pass on from this devastating disease also but to him it isn't the same as losing a father. Please help, I am desperate to be there for him. Thanks in advance.
Meg-Let yourboyfriend know that you do not want to base your feelings or responses on past experiences. Ask him what he needs from you. Tell him it's important for you to be able to help and be supportive. Listen...That is a key. He will need to talk. The more you listen the more you can
feedback of what he says. You will be fine. God can help you and give you compassion for this family and you will know exactly what to do. I will pray for you meg. Lots of love Tressia