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Posted by Marty on September 13, 2000 at 14:17:35:

In Reply to: small cell lung cancer mets posted by diana on September 13, 2000 at 11:09:25:

: my mother has been treated for small cell lung cancer since 1/2000. she had limited stage , went into remission. she just had a brain scan and cat scan and has been found to have mets in the brain and liver. i just want to warn everyone. her docs took the attitude just live your life and didn't ever think she had a chance so all they did was a chest x ray and brain scan every 3 months.if you have this be very vigilant about insisting on tests if you develop any new symptons. now i don't know what we will do. i just can't conceive of losing her, my brain won't let me do it. how do i prepare myself? she is my best friend. i have been sick to my stumache since i found out yesterday. she cries on the phone, and is scared to death. i live far away . do i go out to see her now? or later? Any advice would be appreciated. she is getting brain radiation to make her feel better, but whatelse i don't know.

There are a few similarities between your post and mine right below. Take it from one who loves his cousin like a sister that if she wants to see you GO! I'd give about anything just to see my loved one and care for her. I went so far as to seek professional help and learned that people who get news like this go through 5-stages of emotions that some refer to as DABDA (dab-da). The first is Denial (refusing to accept the news - "It must be a mistake"). Then there's Anger (can occur in many forms from temper to a boiling inside that changes the personality). Then there's Bargaining ("Well, it's probably not as bad as they think - I'll beat the odds"). Next there's Depression (It can range from classic depression to something bodering on anger again). And finally there's Acceptance (where the person accepts the outcome and had delt with it inside.

Also, denial is always first and acceptance is always last. Once a person gets past the initial denial stage they always bounce around the middle three until the final stage. The last point to make is that DABDA not only strike the person with the illness, but also the ones that love the person. Everyone goes through all stages. Hope there is something here that might help. Bless you and bless your Mom!

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