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Posted by jenn on September 21, 2000 at 19:06:07:

In Reply to: Re: My mom is 43 and diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 9-12 months to live! posted by artemis on August 09, 2000 at 06:12:35:

: Jessica,
: Please don't despair. The initial diagnosis is always the worst. And don't listen to the statistics - they are just that. Your mother is young and with the right mind-set, she can fight this. My best advice to you is to find an on-line support group. They provide support to patients, caregivers and family members. They also have a wealth of information about the disease, which helps to understand what is going on. If I'm not mistaken, AOL has many cancer support groups. I would also highly recommend the America Cancer On-line Resources at www.acor.org. Go to mailing lists and look for pancreatic cancer. It does require you to subscribe. I have been on the lung cancer group for over 10 months and I can't say enough about how much it helps. Best of luck to you and your mom.
Hi Jessica
I lost my Mum to skin cancer when we were 22 & 45 and although i am not responding to you to offer any concrete advice with regard to treatment i did want to tell you that you must also focus on the power of the human mind, if you look to homeopathic or alternative remedies it does not matter whether they actually work. What matters is what your mom thinks, that is half the battle.
My mum was taking essiac tea for the duration of her illness and even her cranky surgeon told me after she died that he really felt that it had prolonged her life. Not because he {with his western medical degree] believed that it worked but because SHE did!
I didn't have the internet when my mum was diagnosed it was only 7 years ago that i lost her]
and you are so very lucky to have so much info at your fingertips. If she has accepted that this is what will eventually take her- that is okay. denial is your enemy with this disease. But do not take any time frames into consideration. My Mum outlived anyone's expectations and giving someone an amount of time is intended to prepare them but I think it just imposes a death sentence that some of us may accept and therefore bring on.
My mother-in-law is living with stage 4 breast cancer right now and even though I went through it with my own Mum, it is not easier in any way.
I hate to sound cliche but have your mom write a journal, discuss what needs to be out in the open, take pictures of her, ask her all about your birth, make her write down her meatloaf recipe and make every moment matter, because you will be going over them & over them.
With your love and support your Mom will live much longer than if she didn't have you, so please cherish every moment you have with her.
Please email me if you need to talk, I hope i didn't sound negative but my mission is to not let anyone be blindsided by the loss of a loved one the way I was.
Take care,
Jenn


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