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Re: Mother who wants to die with dignity

Re: Mother who wants to die with dignity

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Posted by paulette on November 07, 1999 at 19:15:06:

In Reply to: Mother who wants to die with dignity posted by Mother's daughter on October 05, 1999 at 00:21:57:

: My mother has always said she wants to die with dignity and with relatively little pain.

: She has post polio and also rhumatoid arthritus. She has really deteriorated in the last four months.

: Last month she was hospitalized with an appendicitus. She has not recovered. She had been unable to eat for a month after the apendectomy, so I sent her back to the hospital in an ambulance.

: There it was discovered that she had gall stones causing pancreatitus (sp?). They removed her gall bladder.

: She is still no better. The doctor wants to run more tests, probably on her stomach. My mother is convinced she has stomach cancer. (Her parents both died painful deaths from cancer).

: She has said she doesn't want any more medical treatment. While she did tell her doctor today that she would go through with the tests, tonight I received a call from a physchiatrist at the hospital who said my mother says she will not have any further treatment.

: If she returns to her apartment and refuses medical treatment, she will almost certainly die. I spoke to her today about hospice care and she said she thought that was for people nearing the end of their lives.

: I do not know what my mother is going to decide. This is an extremely difficult time for me and my brother. Neither of us have ever gotten along very well with my mother, but we hate for her to go through all of this. The hardest part is that if she doesn't go through with the testing, she may end up dying without really having a terminal illness.

: She wants to be out of her pain. She is exhausted by what she has been through the past two months with the hospitalizations.

: Well, thanks for listening. I appreciate it.

your mother sounds as though she is only in [pain but really does not want to die,she only says this because she wants to end the pain.i don,t know where you live ,but here hospice can care for her well before her time .my parents both had cancer,father was with hospice 2months but mother was with them over a year.they were both told they had cancer and would die from it but was unsure when.so if she has terminal illness it does not matter how long it will be before her time they will care for her well.but please find a way to bring your mothers pain under control or no matter what i think she will lose the will to live. weather or not she has a terminal illness or not.good luck best to your mom



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