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help with family

help with family

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Posted by mabel royal on November 26, 1999 at 21:13:09:

My dad has advanced prostate cancer and has begun chemo. Although he's still very weak (due to nutritional problems, altho he's tube fed now), he's at home. We are now wrestling with the idea of putting him in the VA hosp or some other extended care facility. Without going into a lot of details, my question is this: how do you get family members to understand that cancer is a chronic disease and that it takes time to recover from the disease. My immediate family (mom, siblings) understand this. My father's family (siblings and offspring) do not. We have a nurse check on him a couple of times a week, along with an aide and a physical therapist, plus stay in close touch with his family physician. At this point, he has no acute problems that we feel would warrant hospitalization, but his family is just distraught over his condition. (They lost their oldest brother to stomach cancer several years ago.) We're not happy either, we just understand it better and are doing the best we can to cope. The decision to put Dad in an extended care facility is a difficult one for us, because he does not like being away from family, especially my mom. Whenever he's been hospitalized in the past, we've always stayed at the hospital with him. He's already depressed, and I'm worried that he'll perceive the move into a facility as an act of abandonment. I'd appreciate any help. Thanks and God bless.


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