I'm not sure what to do
I'm not sure what to do
[ Back to Messages
Posted by Lila
on August 17, 2000 at 14:51:23:
My aunt fell down about a month ago, and broke her hip. It's a long story, but she has been living with my husband and me since my mother(her sister)passed away in 1986.
My aunt and I have never been what you would call close. In fact, we barely had a relationship at all. She became the life tenant in this house because my mother wanted it that way. But now she is completely dependent on me. I have 5 kids, one of whom is almost 2, and 3 boys who are all mentally disabled. The oldest, 16, who has PDD, is completely dependent on me to do everything for him. I have no siblings or other relatives to turn to. My aunt is aware of my situation, but seems not to notice all I go through. She expects me to take care of all her needs, including dumping out her commode because she is afraid to walk to the toilet, even though she spent 2 weeks in rehab, and was told by the therapist that she should be walking and trying to regain some of the mobility she had before the hip replacement. She was diagnosed with anxiety disorder just recently, but I have tried to get her to see somebody for a couple of years now. She's suffered from agoraphobia for decades. But now she feels no shame in asking me to do all of her grocery shopping or picking up her meds. If I try to get her to call her doctor for an appointment, she makes up some excuse like "I'm not ready yet". I have a 22 year old son who could help, but won't--he just keeps saying "what do you expect ME to do--I HAVE A LIFE!!!!!!" My husband doesn't handle stress well, and he's going through his own battles at work. I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I also am expected to make most of her meals (although she does get meals on wheels for lunch during the week) every time I suggest looking into an assisted care program or nursing home she starts crying and starts saying how she wishes she wasn't a burden, and maybe the good Lord will take her, but in all honesty she has been pulling that stunt for years now--she used to say that when my mother was alive too and tried to pull that on her when she didn't want my mother to go on vacation. Am I wrong to want her out of here? I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. My husband and I were sort of thrust into this situation, and it's causing tension between the two of us, and I can't stand it. Can anybody give me some advice?