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Posted by
Patti on December 06, 2000 at 21:58:42:
In Reply to: Re: to be caregiver for mother posted by Betty D. on October 07, 2000 at 13:24:37:
Hello! I took care of my Mom for 13 years. My
daughter lives with me so I could have made it no other way.You cannot even forsee the future and
Moms deteriorate even though we do not want them to. Yes~ you will get angry! It is like you are on the Titanic and no friend or family helps. I
got so ticked off.Had no vacations and little rest. After my Mom died,I realized that I had not slept a full night for 13 years.I did negelect my well-being~ but there was no free help to have.I got lots of advice like:She will die soon. This made me crazier! I do not know how I did it! But I was clear I was not willing to have her under anyone's care. Hospice came to change her catheter and after she died we received no card at all from them.I have no advice for you except to visit places you want to place her and see how they treat patients.I only made it through as I
was 100% sure under no case would she be placed.
I do not trust MD's or nurses. I knew what I was
willing to do for her and I know she would have died years ago. She lived long as a gift from G_d
I believe plus excellent care from my daughter and I. I cried and screamed a lot ! This took the most strength ever demanded on me in my life. I can tell you I regret none of it. It was hell and heaven combined.My Mother was an unusual and
unique woman~ She always went the extra mile for
people~perhaps this rubbed off on me.Some of my
friends felt so sorry for me as I had no money left to me~ or property,etc.I told them my Mother's legacy to me was one of compassion,love
and commitment. It boggles my mind that we would
keep a sick child at home and not put them in a nursing home. Alas~ when it comes to old people~
they are just too much. The last few years here was similar to an intensive care unit.If you decide to keep her with you~ be in touch with support groups and have people to call who are in
your situation. Perhaps a consultation with a
psychiatrist might help BEFORE you do anything.
When I think of my Mom~ I think of two songs~
What I did for Love and the Impossible Dream. I miss all the hard work, giving her baths and
singing her a song based on her name"Good-Night
Irene". Love,Patti
