Re: care giver

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[ Home ] [ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followups ] [ FAQ ] [ Back to Messages ] Message Posted by Jaye Hedrick on September 25, 1999 at 02:44:42: In Reply to: care giver posted by Carol Johnson on June 24, 1999 at 22:33:38: : My mother has alzheimers, my Dad is bed ridden with congesstive heart failure, my husband has had colon cancer, three open heart surgries and topped it off with a stroke three years ago. There is no happy, or much to look forward to. I recently lost/quit my job. : I don't see my mother any more, she is convenced that my husband has been stealing from her. I have been my mother's cruch since I can remember, when dad has had to be hospitalized for any reason, I was always there and took care of him in my home while holding down a full time job (Mom & Dad are divorced) We encouraged my Dad to have a will made up some years back. He wanted my husband to be the executer, but my husband was concerned that he may not live that long himself. So they went to a lawyer and made me executer 1st, my husband 2nd. Dad has diabeties and was losing the use of his legs, so my husband helped him physically get to his doctor's appointments....Dad cannot hear well so my husband communicated everything to and from the Doc. purchased prescriptions, I did his laundry, shopping and when there was a medical emergency, he called and we would call 911, then drive like crazy to get there. The emergencies started Oct. 1999 - Nov - Dec. January he had a major heart attack and has been in a medical facility ever since. We visited & brought him food or whatever his needs were every nite after I drove 34 miles round trip from work. A month ago we found out through the bank that Dad had no money in his account. My younger sister's had convienced him to let them take care of him, but no one explained or told us this was going to happen. My husband has been so hurt, and I just don't know which way to turn. My sister's are not married (they are in their 50's) fly by the seat of their pants, do not have bank acct's. One cleans houses & tends bar here in our city the other sister lives in Los Vegas. : My husband does not practice the exercises for his disabilities, he is very slow, has put on too much weight, drinking beer w/medication. Since I am home, for now, it seems like I have invaded his world and disrupted it. Of course we don't have a social life : walking is difficult for him and he tires easily. I can put the car in park, set emergency break, open trunk to get groceries and be opening the front door before he get out of the car. I am very active, love to dance and travel, especially with our RV. He shows no interest in trying any activity. As I said before don't know where I'm going from here, except to find another job, but I am 62 and feel like it would not be fair to start a full time job with a company, then retire in three years. I have considered temp work but haven't made the effort yet. I guess I'm still looking for happy. Part of my problem is that I don't look, act or dress my age and most people think I am ten years younger than I am until I start braging about my grandchildren, they are all grown and going there seperate ways. I have a daughter & son, but I feel that they have there own lives to live. I miss family and affection. Sorry for spreading my dreary life around, but I was hoping someone out there has dealt with similar situations that would be a sounding board for me. Thank you for your consideration....... Follow Ups Post a Followup If you post a followup: Please review our message board guidelines. Please keep messages on topic. Advertising messages are not permitted on this board. Please report any violations to webmaster@healthboards.com Name: E-Mail (optional): please note: your e-mail address will be visible for others to see. Subject: Message: (add your reply here) : : My mother has alzheimers, my Dad is bed ridden with congesstive heart failure, my husband has had colon cancer, three open heart surgries and topped it off with a stroke three years ago. There is no happy, or much to look forward to. I recently lost/quit my job. : : I don't see my mother any more, she is convenced that my husband has been stealing from her. I have been my mother's cruch since I can remember, when dad has had to be hospitalized for any reason, I was always there and took care of him in my home while holding down a full time job (Mom & Dad are divorced) We encouraged my Dad to have a will made up some years back. He wanted my husband to be the executer, but my husband was concerned that he may not live that long himself. So they went to a lawyer and made me executer 1st, my husband 2nd. Dad has diabeties and was losing the use of his legs, so my husband helped him physically get to his doctor's appointments....Dad cannot hear well so my husband communicated everything to and from the Doc. purchased prescriptions, I did his laundry, shopping and when there was a medical emergency, he called and we would call 911, then drive like crazy to get there. The emergencies started Oct. 1999 - Nov - Dec. January he had a major heart attack and has been in a medical facility ever since. We visited & brought him food or whatever his needs were every nite after I drove 34 miles round trip from work. A month ago we found out through the bank that Dad had no money in his account. My younger sister's had convienced him to let them take care of him, but no one explained or told us this was going to happen. My husband has been so hurt, and I just don't know which way to turn. My sister's are not married (they are in their 50's) fly by the seat of their pants, do not have bank acct's. One cleans houses & tends bar here in our city the other sister lives in Los Vegas. : : My husband does not practice the exercises for his disabilities, he is very slow, has put on too much weight, drinking beer w/medication. Since I am home, for now, it seems like I have invaded his world and disrupted it. Of course we don't have a social life : : walking is difficult for him and he tires easily. I can put the car in park, set emergency break, open trunk to get groceries and be opening the front door before he get out of the car. I am very active, love to dance and travel, especially with our RV. He shows no interest in trying any activity. As I said before don't know where I'm going from here, except to find another job, but I am 62 and feel like it would not be fair to start a full time job with a company, then retire in three years. I have considered temp work but haven't made the effort yet. I guess I'm still looking for happy. Part of my problem is that I don't look, act or dress my age and most people think I am ten years younger than I am until I start braging about my grandchildren, they are all grown and going there seperate ways. I have a daughter & son, but I feel that they have there own lives to live. I miss family and affection. Sorry for spreading my dreary life around, but I was hoping someone out there has dealt with similar situations that would be a sounding board for me. Thank you for your consideration....... Optional Link URL: Link Title: Optional Image URL: Note: The moderator has the right to delete any message deemed inappropiate for this board. Repeat violators of healthboards policy will be permanently barred from the boards. Reminder - No ad messages permitted!

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