Posted by Avery
on December 10, 1999 at 14:35:14:
In Reply to: dealing with the pain posted by michelle on December 09, 1999 at 17:39:30:
: I have always known since he was born my son would have problems. He was a emergancy c-section and it took 15 minutes to resesitate. Finally after alot of research last week I asked them if he had CP I wasnt suprised to hear yes! But after 11 months of knowing I suddenly cannot keep it togeaher I cry all the time and feel dissipointed that I seem o have lot my strength that once seemed endless.
Michelle, We all want to be in control and when something that we can't fix we feel helpless. I also have cried buckets about my child with cp, but I'm not weak and neither are you. The tears are important and help you get you feelings out rather bottling them up where they can harm you. No one ever got sick from crying too much but, not crying at all when you need to can hurt you and those you love. It took me too long to realize that what I needed was someone to give me support(other than my husband) -someone who understood what I was going through. Try looking (calling) up your local cp group and asking about support groups. You can also ask if they can put you in contact with a mom who has a child with cp if you feel more comfortable just talking with one person. I recently read an article about being a parent of a child with cp that discussed many of the feelings parents have . My precious husband was (is) having trouble dealing with his feelings about it so I gave him this article to read and he really appreciated it because it helped us talk about our worries and fears. The article website is http://www.ucpa.org/html/resources/goodparent.html I know that with any new baby in the house that the last thing you have is a lot of free time to read. It took me too long to reach out for help so you are already on the right track. I just found out yesterday that there is a local pediatrition (sp) that only sees special needs children and my girl is 13!She sees a neurologist also. Also, as your baby grows keep good records ( when he rolls over, pushes up while on tummy, sits up alone, crawls,etc.) I kept good records of my first child but when I saw that she was "late" in these steps I didn't want to keep track of exactly when she did things ---doctors will ask and I can't remember those that I didn't record. Finally , I will keep you in my prayers because just being a mom is a big job but you'll never run out of love for him.Have hope. I know a man with cp who dispite the many apparent handicaps now has a wonderful job at the largest hospital in Knoxville Tennessee running the plant -he is a pro with computers!!!!! A supporting mom, good sense of humor, and a determination that wouldn't accept "no" or "I can't" for an answer has made him the fine successful man that he is today. This can be true for your boy so don't give up before the race has started. Sending loving care to a special mom.