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Re: my 4 year old

Re: my 4 year old

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Posted by Lisa on May 05, 2000 at 07:10:20:

In Reply to: Re: my 4 year old posted by Tina Howell on September 18, 1999 at 07:56:09:

: :I sort of know how you feel I know to kids that are very special to me the oldest one is eight and the youngest just turned to I use to be their babysister until I joined the airforce and got moved 2300 miles away as I read your message It made me think of them and I wonder if the time I am away from them if I will get to seem them living out their dreams. Just the other day I got a phone call that said both of them where in the hospital with sounamotis which is sort of like phenomia I was glad to here after a week they were sent home.. One day I hope to be sent home so I can spend more time with them since we never know what the next day will bring. Someday we will not have to worry about this but untill that day hang in there and if you ever need a freind (or any on else who needs to talk)drop me a line just, I have been threw it all with my friend and these children I would love to cal my own.

: Hang in there
: Tina Howell

:
: hi,
: : I WISH I WASN'T HERE, ON THIS BOARD. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT IS TRUE. MY LITTLE GIRL IS 4 YEARS OLD,, FULL OF LIFE. AND NOW, I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WILL BE HERE IN 20 YEARS. I AM VERY ANGRY. AND SO HURT AND SCARED. COURTNEY IS MY LIFE...SHE IS THE REASON I GET UP EVERYDAY. I CAN'T LOSE HER. I CAN'T GET PAST THIS. WHAT DO I DO NOW?????????? SHE HAS HAD PNAMONA 6 TIMES IN 6 MONTHS. NOW, THEY KNOW WHY......I KEEP TELLING HER, THE DR. ARE HERE TO HELP, BUT THEY ONLY MAKE HER FEEL WORSE (IT SEEMS THAT WAY TO HER ).
: : SHE IS SO CUTE, TALL , BLOND-ISH BROWN LONG HAIR, GREEN EYES. LOVES TO DANCE (BALLET), CHEEERLEADING, YOU NAME IT. SHE IS PERFECT. SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO HER??????? NO CHILD SHOULD EVER HURT THIS WAY, OR NEED TO BE TOLD THAT THEY MAY NOT LIVE TO BE AN OLD PERSON....THIS IS JUST WRONG.
: : SORRY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE POSTED YET...I AM STILL ANGRY

Dear Cindy,
I cried when I read your message. How well I remember the two moments in time that my life stood still. That I was sure I would NEVER have the strength to face another day. When my heart BROKE 4 ever. It was when I heard the positive diagnosis for CF for both of my daughters. One in 1981 and then again in 1985. It has to be the MOST horrifying situation I can think of. To have to be faced with the REAL possibility of losing OUR child!! When it finally sinks in that yes, it can and it did happen to me, to MY child. (Children in my case.) I am one of five children, my parents have ten grandchildren, and two great grandchildren. My mother is SO lucky. 5 kids 10 grandkids 2 great grandkids. While I on the other hand stand a good chance of growing old alone. I lived the first fourteen years of my role as a CF mom barely breathing. I was so upset and so angry, and so paranoid that the girls would get sick. My oldest went for fourteen years w/out a hospitalization, which in my opinion was going to be the start of the end. I was so terrified to ever have to hear "she needs to go to the hospital for a tune up" because that would mean that she really IS sick!! When it finally happened I almost collapsed with grief. It was very hard but as time went on the hospital became a "friend" in a way, because she would be SO sick, and when she came home she was alot better. PLEASE try and take my advice Cindy, please try and not make the mistake I did by living every day when your daughter is well by being angry and miserable. I KNOW it's hard, but ENJOY your little girl, laugh with her, have FUN with her and cherish every moment. I would give anything in this world to be able to have a "second chance" Keep the faith ALWAYS! Lisa


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