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Posted by MERANDA
on September 15, 2000 at 17:37:32:
In Reply to: Kaley posted by Karen Theriot on September 12, 2000 at 23:04:42:
: Hi my name is Karen and I am single parent of two daughter one of whom has CF. Kaley is 2 years old and I ahve known about her illness since she was 6 weeks old. Myself and my wonderful sitter are the only caregivers for kaley. sometimes her dad will poop up when it is convient for him. Does anyone else out there feel exteme depression? Hatred? Lonliness? I feel so stupid and worthless and that I am letting everyone down that if I do something or myself I feel guilty and think I really didnt need that dress . no matter how hard I work I am always going to be behind I feel like I am going to lose it at any given time does any one know how that feels. Please help hope I am not the only one who feels like running away.
: HELLO MY NAME IS MERANDA IM A 17 YER OLD GIRL FROM N.C. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL ANGER,EXTEME DEPRESSION,HATRED AND FEELING UNWANTED. I ALWAYS WISH I COULD RUN AWAY AND BE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WITH NO PROBLEMS.BUT I CANT.MY MOTHER WAS 15 WHEN SHE HAD ME.sHE LEFT MY FATHER SHORTLY AFTER I WAS BORN BECAUSE HE WAS VERY ABUSIVE TO HER AND ME.WHEN I WAS ABOUT 1 I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CF.SHE WAS TERRIFED.SHE HAD NO CLUE ABOUT THE DISEASE OR WHAT IT DOES.AROUND THAT TIME SHE WAS 16 LIVING ON WELFARE.SHE DID KNOW SHE HAD 2 BE STRONG AND PROTECTIVE 4 ME.IVE HAD A VERY GOOD LIFE OTHER THAN THE CF PART. IM DOIN VERY GOOD IVE ONLE BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL 2 TIMES IN MY LIFE.IM 5'1' AND 121 POUNDS.IVE GAINED ALOT OF WEIGHT THE PAST 2 MONTHS.I WAS ABOUT 103.DONT GIVE UP HOPE BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOUR TAKING CARE OF YOUR DAUGHTER.OBVIOUSLY YOUR ALL SHE HAS. MY REAL DAD HASNT SEEN ME SINCE I WAS ABPUT 4 MONTHS OLD.HE DONT CARE THAT I HAVE CF. HE ACCUSED MY MOM OF MAKING IT UP IN 1998 THE 1ST AND ONLY TIME IVE SPOKEN TO HIM. HE HAS 12 OTHER KIDS MOSTLY BY OTHER WOMEN.I KNOW WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER MAY FEEL WHEN SHE GETS OLDER.I CAN ANSWER PROBABLY ANY QUESTION U MAY HAVE ABOUT WHAT LIES AHEAD,BECAUSE IVE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL.IF U EVER WANNA TALK YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AT...WhtThorn@aol.com its my boyfriends computer but im always over here on it.good luck
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