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Re: Contemplating Suicide
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Posted by Anonymous
on October 20, 2000 at 12:15:01:
In Reply to: Contemplating Suicide posted by B. on October 20, 2000 at 11:52:02:
I feel for you and I can tell you are in great pain, but suicide is a selfish act. Call a suicide hotline immediatley. I dont know where you're at, but a number in Massachusetts that I know if is 508-875-4500.
You mentioned that you didnt want to hurt your father and brother. REMEMBER THIS. KEEP THIS THOUGHT IN YOUR MIND. I know that the thought of my own father at my funeral, standing in a receiving line at a wake, burying me and trying to get on with his life is the ONLY thing sometimes that got me through.
Your father and brother and you have been through a huge loss. Don't do that to them again. If you can't do it for yourself, get help for THEM. So your father and brother will not have to bury another loved one. Suicide changes other peoples lives FOREVER. You of all people know this.
Have you ever gone inpatient? I think you should go to the nearest emergency room and tell them what you feel so you can go somewhere for a little while where they can focus on you and help you. Therapy can be frustrating because you only go a few times a week at best and then there is all the time in between where you lose focus. In a hospital you can focus only on getting better and helping yourself. Hang in there.
: There seems no other way out of this living hell called life. I've tried every medication, 4 psychiatrists, 3 therapists and 1 psychologist and nothing has helped. Is there any hope at all? Any possibility of actually getting better? I don't think so! I'm tired of trying to fight depression. It's a war I can't win! I'm seriously thinking of killing myself by carbon monoxide poisoning! I'm going to run the car in the garage with the windows down. It just seems like the most peaceful way to go. I've thought of slitting my wrists but I really don't want to leave a mess for someone to find. I've finished my suicide note today and now I'm beginning to pick a date to kill myself. I just can't find a reason to go on anymore. My only reason for hanging on as long as I have is because I didn't want to put my dad and brother through another suicide. my mom killed herself about 9 years ago. But I just don't think I can hang on much longer.
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