thank you

In Reply to: heavy as lead.... posted by Kathrin on October 23, 2000 at 01:35:18:

Thank you all...
hey the water intake thing... that really got to me. I do NOT drink enough. I feel dehydrated most of the times. I have my water bottle with me, but during the busy times I am just so busy I am afraid I won't have time to use the restroom, and when I get tired I am too tried to drink, ha ha...

What do I get out of being busy?
2 things.
One thing it's a sort of compulsive boundary kind of thing... the social work stuff with the homeless etc... i start helping somewhere and then I don't know where to draw the line.
Then I tell myself well better just change your attitude - and then I change personanlities.
Then I start liking it and then it becomes addictive.
I put the walkman on and get ADDICTED TO the late nights, just trying to get that HIGH feeling again.
Which IS addictive because it reminds me of how I felt when I first came to San Francisco, when everything was new and exciting.
I tell myself I like everything and can do everything and have fun with everything, i am really funny when I am like that. But it is just a game. It is a defense mechanism, so i won't feel the overwhelming quality of it all. Until it hits me. Does that make sense? Must sound very weird.
Oh I take psychology at the university, that's a funny one too!

Kathrin