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How can I get a gun?
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Posted by Tired of Life
on October 27, 2000 at 23:21:10:
I'm 23yrs old and I quit my first job after 1 year. I was extremely depressed and I couldn't handle the competitive pressures of the corporate world. I'm too afraid to work because I'm so depressed and I hate for people to see me in this state. My therapist believes that the depression is a result of social anxiety. I moved back home with my parents because I can't survive in this world in my present state. I feel like a complete failure to my family and everyone who has had high expectations of me. I was an "A" student my entire life and no one would've thought that I would be living with my parents at this point in my life (Including me). My parents are always on my case because they think I'm a slob and a lazy bum who doesn't obey the "house rules". I pay them $200/mo and I have no more rights than I had when I was in high school. Right now I don't have any friends that I want to share my depression with. I think I just destroyed my only close relationship by telling this friend of mine that I have feelings for her. I don't know why I told her this. I guess I thought she would actually say that she has some feelings for me too. I don't know why I thought this would happen, especially since I've never had a girl "like me back" in my life. I think that my lack of female relationships in my life has led me to feel like I'll be alone forever (unless I just accept anyone that comes my way). My lack of female approval has ultimately led to me demise. I've tried to over 40 girls in the last 7 years. From close friends to random encounters, the result has always been the same. They always say "we don't have chemistry", "you're not my type", "you're like my brother", etc. People say bullshit cliches to make me feel better, but I know that nothing will change. They tell me that "the right one will come along" or " you're still young, you'll find someone". I don't think I'm ugly because attractive girls have gone out with me, but they all lose interest after a week (or two if I'm lucky). I'm definitely not a "chooser". All of these factors have led me to believe that I'll alone and miserable for the rest of my life or I can simply end a miserable existence soon. Everyday the second option seems more logical. I just need to get a gun so that the next time I feel this shitty, I can end it once and for all. Sorry for the long message.
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