Re: How can I get a gun?
Re: How can I get a gun?
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Posted by Tired of Life
on October 28, 2000 at 13:21:29:
In Reply to: Re: How can I get a gun? posted by Grace on October 28, 2000 at 10:55:02:
I've heard all of these things before. You're like a lot of women I know. No matter how many emotional problems you have, you still need a confident man. A confident woman isn't a "must" for me. I've told someone in the past that beautiful women with "emotional" problems, have usually had dates on Valentine's Day and they have had relationships and they have sex (All experiences that I've never had). They complain because every guy dumps them. The guys leave because they don't understand or they don't care to understand. The "confident" man is used to having his way with women and if you're not "up to par" he knows that there's another chick for him to talk too and there's no need to waste time with you. But the same women who is rejected by the "confident" men, would still reject an "unconfident" man. Even though he understands where you're coming from and he is willing to be there for you because he doesn't view your pain as a flaw. But you will view his lack of confidence as a weakness and you'll diss him. just like any other woman (the ones with emotional problems and the one's without). Maybe the reason he's unconfident in the first place is because he's failed everytime in the past. The cliche that I do beleive is that "success builds confidence". But you and the other women I know say that "a man needs to be confident to have success". But when you look at most things in life people become confident when they are successful at something (Whether it be school, sports, etc.). I've never had a single female mirror my feelings all through high school and college. Why the f-u-c-k should I feel confident!
I also don't like the cliche people use when they say. You need to get yourself "together" before you can get into a relationship. If this were the case then most people would never get married. The fact is, I probably wouldn't have fallen apart had I been involved with someone 3 years ago. I've never even kissed a girl (I'm sure you've kissed a guy or two). You probably think I'm some "fat ugly guy", but that's not the case. Good looking girls have gone out with me, I'm just lucky if the stick around for a second or third date. You tried to help, but I wouldn't be thinking about suicide for silly reasons. The affect of never having a woman mirror you is unbearable. Few men can understand it because most of them have had serious gilfriends before. An "attractive" women definitely can't understand it because they will definitely have relationships regardless of their emotional stability. "Ugly" women can't relate because I'm not really ugly.
This is definitely not a "funk". This has always bothered me although it never crippled me. I've endured this hardship for 7 years and the pain only increases with age. I don't listen to music because its usually about love. I don't watch TV because its usually about love. I have trouble going to the movies because there's usually some romance involved. A love theme is in everything.
The girl that tore me apart at the core had her own emotional problems and although we had so many things in common and we even had similar thoughts. Like you she was fairly attractive. She trusted me and everything. I had to sit in classes with her everyday for the last 2 years of college. Occasionally, we would get together and we'd always open up to each other. I knew that she was depressed and confused because she had an abusive childhood. Just because she doesn't "have herself together" doesn't mean she deserves to be abandoned.
You say another cliche about how I have plenty of time to date. This is just trying to make the situation sound better than what it is. If women like confident men (and my confidence is subzero), why should the prognosis of my future be any different than what it has been for the last 7 years. I envy the people who get married and divorced because they have experienced affection and care at some point in their lives. Men aren't meant to go this long without experiencing affection from the opposite sex (I'm not talking about intercourse). The few men I've met like me have also "lost their minds". The unibomber never had a relstionship with a woman and he snapped. One day a lady he was friends with told him that she wasn't interested in him and he just couldn't take it anymore. Meriwether Lewis (Lewis & Clark) never had a woman mirror him and he committed suicide. I know that I've reached a point of no return. I can either live life in misery (as I have been doing) or I can get out of this f-u-c-ked up situation. Therapy won't help, meds won't help. him
I started seeing a therapist and taking prozac. The shrink said that meds probably won't do a lot to help me (And they haven't). I think I'll stop taking the meds soon because my depression isn't the result of a chemical imbalance, but it is a result of years of social rejection. I wasn't always like this. Therapy won't help, meds won't help. As long as women require a man to be confident, I'll always be alone.
Thanks for trying to help, but if I don't kill myself soon, I probably will end up doing it someday anyway.