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attitude vs. clinical problem...please read

attitude vs. clinical problem...please read

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Posted by Anna on November 11, 2000 at 20:49:08:

I have experienced depression on and off since age twelve (I am 19 next week) in conjuction with severe anxiety problems and agoraphobia. I took luvox for 2 years and it helped a lot with the depression and decently with the anxiety but it stopped working after a while and so I stopped it. I have recently fallen back into deep depression and anxiety since I stopped the meds, which could be a result of that or because of circumstances in my life.
I think it is great that we have this board to share our experiences but I also feel that it is not good for us to constantly dwell on the bad things in life. I do understand that people want to get it out somehow but what is most valuable is to get better! I find it really difficult to strike a balance between understanding that I have a clinical, legitimate problem, and at the same time taking responsibility for my attitude. It is hard when you are depressed to take care of yourself, keep a positive attitude etc. when the depression robs you of the will/energy to change things. This is a major issue I have wrestled with throughout my experience with the depression. Family members tell me to be grateful for all I have...I am just as grateful for what I have when I am depressed as when I am not! I am just in pain...
I don't know where the answer lies to all of these issues. I do know however, that it is not right to place the responsibility for all bad feelings on the presence of a clinical problem. Things will never change that way. It is vital to recognize that there are things we cannot change, ie chemical imbalances, and the ups and downs of life, but that there many things we can change, ie the way we respond. We need to fight the part of us that wants to stay in our comfortable, known hell because we are afraid of an unknown one. It is true that depression becomes our friend after a while and that is scary. It is important to keep in mind though that we are still the same people without the depression. I have had moments in my life when I felt great and I still retained my creative, intuitive side.
I am not an expert on this. I am still struggling with it and have been for years. My heart goes out to every one of you who are living with this. Keep on keeping on...Anna


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