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IProblem with nurse practicioner and more

IProblem with nurse practicioner and more

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Posted by Tired on November 18, 2000 at 21:48:38:

Everytime I go to my nurse practitioner to get my prozac refilled. She pisses me off and I'm really angry for a couple of days. The last time I went she told me that there must be something wrong with me if every woman I talk to rejects me. She says,
"you're a good looking guy so there must be something about you that turns women off. If you don't change you'll be alone and miserable for the rest of your life".
Then she proceeds to ask me if I want to change. I told her that it depended on what I have to change. There are some things about me that I have to keep or I will feel like I trying to emulate someone else and I won't feel comfortable. She says that women can probably pick up on my negativity and anger as she can. No woman has ever told me that she didn't like me because of my negativity and anger. They usually diss me when I'm in a great mood. The reason I'm so bitter and angry now is because I've been rejected so many times. I wasn't angry and negative for years and I was still getting rejected. Women would rather be with a guy who has a reputation as a womanizer than to get with me. Why should I have to change? I don't beat woman, I won't cheat, I'm pretty straight up, I don't try to control people, and I'm willing to compromise. Sometimes there are things about people that aren't bad things, but they are still unattractive. For example, the fact that a guy is slightly overweight (I'm not), isn't a bad thing about him, but a lot of women would rather have a man who has a nice body. Should we tell the guy that as long as he doesn't lose 15-20lbs and build muscles he will be rejected by many women (especially if they are attractive). He'll have to take whoever come his way or he'll be alone for the rest of his life. I feel like the reasons I've been rejected aren't because the women thought I was a bad angry guy, in fact most of them will say that I'm a nice guy, but "I don't have FEELINGS for him" or some BS like that.

Anyway, she said I would live a miserable lonely life if I'm not willing to change. I told her that if I'm gonna live a long miserable life, why should I live long at all? Trying to make me change things about myself that aren't "bad" goes against my principles. If I'm not hurting anyone why change something that is a core part of who I am. I'm not that desperate for a woman. Besides that defeats the point of being excepted for who you are, especially if who you are isn't abusive to the other person. I've seen so many woman fall for guys who had reputations as womanizers, but they won't talk to me. Why, because women fall in love with a combination of physical appearance and personality, they don't fall in love with character because that takes to long to find out. Women can't love someone unless they "feel" a certain way. Looks and charm gives them the feeling they need to "fall in love". No one is attracted to a nice guy who has an "annoying" voice or who seems very nervous. The fact is if you have a tall handsome muscular guy who always says the right thing and who treats you like a "queen", why would you want to talk to a short guy who acts awkward and nervous around you? The first guy is actually a womanizer, and the second guy was actually an honest and sincere man, but she never wanted to know guy 2. I guess guy 2 needs to get therapy and CHANGE something about himself because SOCIETY views guys like him as an unattractive man.

The thing that needs to changed the most is the social attitudes we have in our society, but since social workers can't change society they tell the individual that they are the problem. There job is to make the individual change themselves to be accepted socially even though the social standards that the individual is being "trained" to meet shouldn't exist in the first place. Why can't a famous rich man marry an average looking woman? Why do the "beautiful" women feel that they DESERVE a rich man or a "sexy" or "successful" man? Why does the most popular cheerleader date the most "popular" guy in the school? Why does Jennifer Aniston marry Brad Pitt instead of "Brad Smith"? You know that I'm telling the truth.

My therapist subtly suggested that I talk to women who are less "attractive" sometimes. The fact is that I thought that many of the women that I talked to weren't the most beautiful women in the world, but his suggestion infuriated me. It sounded like he was suggesting that the women were "out of my league". People aren't like cars and automobiles are they? Those that have plenty, have more options and can get the cars others simply can't afford. He was implying that I may be "living beyond my means".

This makes me wonder if "falling in love" is a myth if who you "fall in love" with is governed by social status (i.e. physical appearance, wealth, charismatic personality). This means that there isn't a lot of randomness with "love". The "fat and ugly" have to stay in there class. They may have to marry someone who has an unattractive appearance or personality, unless of course a fat ugly man is rich. The beautiful won't love anyone who isn't in there class. I guess most people accept the social cast system in our society and they just abide by the rules. The fact is that no one wants a "fat ugly girl" they just take her because they can't get anyone else. If you owned a Ford Escort and you hit the lottery for 100 million dollars, would you keep your escort or would you get a more "luxurious" car? If the men with the "fat ugly women" could be with a "beautiful" woman, they'd probably send the "escort" to the junkyard. I have trouble accepting that some of us can choose who we are with, while others have to take who they get. That's probably why the divorce rate is so high. Many people marry because they don't want to be alone, not because they really want the person that they are with. Others marry by picking people based on who "deserves" to be with them. The first group of people often have trouble because their options are endless and sometime they are unsure if they got the "best" person. The second group will experience the greatest high because in their minds they've found the "perfect person" that can satisfy their needs. They've had the opportunity to date many people and have many relationships to compare individuals. They are able to be so selective that they will usually get someone they actually like (In the beginning). The first group, on the other hand, is relived that they have someone. How can love be real when it is linked so heavily to social status?

Sorry about the tangent, but the point is that I don't feel that I need to change. I can think positive, but it doesn't change our society. Unlike the famous saying, I can't accept some of the things I cannot change. Maybe the reason why I continue to stay miserable is because I can't "accept my limitations".

Anyway, my nurse practitioner didn't know what to say so she said she would just continue to write my prescriptions as long as I "choose" to be miserable.



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