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Re: You make alot of sense.......

Re: You make alot of sense.......

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Posted by Tired on November 20, 2000 at 05:05:34:

In Reply to: You make alot of sense....... posted by Kathy on November 19, 2000 at 12:20:31:

I'm a 23 year old black guy who just moved back in with his parents in Alexandria, VA. I was doing consulting for a year, but I was traveling so much that I never spent time in my apartment in Atlanta. I currently have no male friends in this area, and I never tell people about my situation because it is embarrassing. Just like my nurse practitioner believes that something is wrong with me because I've been rejected by so many women, most people in society think the same way. If I told my male friends that I've never had a girlfriend and I've never had sex, I'm always going to stand out even more. In fact, guys who suspected that I was a virgin would make fun of my situation. People will actually start scrutinizing me as I talk to a girl to see what I'm "doing wrong". I also don't like having male friends right now because my last two best friends had women throwing themselves at them, and I don't like feeling envy. When I know that they are going out with a girl or "screwing" someone, it just makes me feel more inadequate. I refuse to get close to any guys until I get the girl I want to be with. When that happens I will feel "normal" and I will feel like a "man" instead of a boy in a man's body. I'd really like a girlfriend who I would want to marry, not just someone to go out with and sleep with until something "better" comes along. I would also like her to be more my "friend" than my "girl". This is important to me because I hear about so many people who "fall in love", get married, and claim to have no friends. If I had a girlfriend or a wife, I should always have a best friend.

I've had a number of female "friends" who would talk to me all of the time. Some would see me just about everyday. Some of them have told me very intimate things about themselves. One of them used to talk with me long distance for 2-5 hours usually one night out of the week. She told me that I no more things about her than anyone else. She also told me that she tells some of her girlfriends about me. One time she told them, "I have this one friend and he should have his pick of women" (She was talking about me). After 2 years of talking to this girl (mostly on the phone after we left college) I told her that I had feelings for her. She replied, "I don't feel that CLOSENESS with you that I've felt with other people" (Even though I know her better than anyone according to her). This is the reason why I avoid being best/close friends with a female. I've had several situation turn out bad win I was just a friend. I take it as an insult when a women sees me as just a friend (only when we share intimate details about our lives). The fact that some guy can come along out of the blue and have a greater priority to her than myself is offensive. Some women will say you're important to me. If I were equally important to them as the "boyfriend", then why don't they sleep with me, too. Then I hear "You're a different type of importance". The difference is that I'm less important. If I tell her that I want to see her and the boyfriend says that he wants to be with her, 90% of the time the boyfriend will win. I assume that when a women would rather be with some new guy instead of me, she is obviously using me as a "talking buddy". Even though she I'm not good enough to be her boyfriend, I'm good for "her" support system (very selfish).

To make a long story short, I have no male friends anymore because it hurts me to see there relationships and I have no female friends because it hurts me that I'm not an option to them. It's sad, but it's the truth.



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