Sorry I've BECOME so repulsive
Sorry I've BECOME so repulsive
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Posted by Tired
on November 21, 2000 at 22:58:06:
In Reply to: Re: Personal Problems posted by your friend on November 21, 2000 at 16:20:24:
I haven't always been bitter. If the reason I'm being rejected is because of my bitterness and my attitude, then why was I rejected when I wasn't bitter and had a "positive" attitude. The fact is that women are attracted to attractive men. I'm not sure if you've ever watched the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air", but some people have compared me to Carlton. It doesn't matter how confident and positve Carlton is, more women will always want Will Smith. Telling someone to "change their attitude" is a cliche that only works for people who believe in self help techniques (I do not).
I don't know any women who rejected me because they thought or sensed that I was "bitter". Many of them thought that I'd make a great FRIEND. If they didn't want me because I was bitter and negative, then why in the hell would they want me to be there friend! Also, if women are so good at sensing my "bitterness", then they should have the same ability to sense if a guy is a "dog". A lot of men who are dogs are a lot more bitter than me because they care absolutley nothing about the people they use. They must hate women to dehumanize them.
If I only had one arm, I don't care how positive or "unbitter" I was, women would reject me anyway. My attitude has nothing to do with it. I've never acted this bitter towards any woman I've tried to talk to. Most of the women think that I'm a nice guy, but they just don't FEEL that way about me. Women aren't going to "fall in love" with you if you don't make them "feel" better than the other men who are trying to talk to them. No matter how positive I am or unbitter I am, a woman will pick the "best" guy in the end. They'll pick the "best"looking guy, the guy with the "best" personality, the guy who can communicate with them the "best". I'm just never the "best" guy. If I had "Social Anxiety", no woman would think I was the "best" guy because they would never "feel" like we had "chemistry". The conversation might not flow naturally with me as it does with the other guys. I'd act a lot more nervous than the other guys. I'd say more stupid things than the other guy. She's not going to think that maybe we have a lot in common, but he may have social anxiety so he's a lot more awkward than the other guys. No women is that understanding. She'd tell her friends how boring I was (Like she was doing me a favor for going out with me and I didn't entertain her in return). They can only go by what they see. The guy who makes the "best" impression isn't always the best guy for her, but that's the one she'll pick.
I don't blame myself for becoming angry after being rejected over 40 consecutive times! To forget about the past will be impossible until I get into a relationship someone I want to be with. Even if I get into a relationship, it will be difficult for me to forget about the past unless the relationship is long enough to allow the past to fade. At this point in my life, it will be difficult to obtain success because I have very little confidence to try again.
I don't believe we CHOOSE our own destiny. If that was the case, then depression isn't really an illness. If all we have to do is CHOOSE to think positive or CHOOSE to change our attitude, then it is our fault for being depressed because we can CHOOSE to "snap out of it". If my attitude is going to change then something must happen to induce that change.
I'm angry as sh-t now, and I don't blame the individuals who rejected me. I blame the society which sets the social standards of attractiveness. A "nerdy" acting guy isn't considered to be attractive to women in our society. A "fat girl" isn't attractive to men in our society. These attitudes are socialized into our subconscious minds to the point that we can see someone or talk to someone for a second and determine if they meet the criteria to qualify as "attractive".
What am I supposed to change about my attitude? My attitude is a direct result of my experiences and it will change as my experiences change. If I "change my attitude" and a girl rejects me because she doesn't like my voice and another ejects me because she thinks I'm too short and another rejects me because she thinks I'm boring, my attitude will be even more "skeptical" than what it was before I attempted to "change" (I've tried the positive thinking thing before too and that doesn't guarantee that a girl will like you back).
You and the millions who think like you have no clue where I am coming from because you've never been there. I hate it when someone tells me that it is my fault. The reason I can't change my attitude is because it reflects the "truth". To change my perspective means that I will be denying the "truth".